The Visitors: The Return
by evitascarlett
Summary: Johanna's special guest returns to try and change her outlook about the upcoming season. A sequel to The Visitors. Castle Halloween Bash 2017 Entry.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: Well, here we are again; a sequel to The Visitors has been gnawing at me since I finished the last installment. I figured I may as well give in to the feeling. This segment of The Visitors is set during the holiday season (I know, a holiday story for a Halloween entry? But in all truth, the previous one was set late November/early December so…) It's also set a year from the current chapters of Redemption (current Redemption is in November at the moment; so this story is early December of the following year). I am also still working on Reflections and Redemption; I wrote this chapter and another one in advance. I hope you all enjoy this second journey into this little part of Johanna's universe!_

Chapter 1- A Feeling

Johanna Beckett stood in her kitchen feeling like a weight was settling on her shoulders as she listened to the television on the counter while she washed dishes. Commercial after commercial announced extended Black Friday sale prices for the first week of December and she cringed inside. Usually extended sale prices made her giddy…usually it had her itching to head out on a shopping spree, no matter the time of year…and yet she was utterly uninspired. She'd been dreading the Christmas season since the end of the last holiday season and now it was upon them again…and she didn't want any part of it. The first Christmas of being reunited with her family had been a complete and utter disaster and she had no desire for a repeat; especially since she had been made acutely aware of Jim and Kate's true feelings on the topic of Christmas. The feeling that wrapped around her now reminded her of the feeling she had always carried in Wyoming when the holiday season set in…she just wanted to shun it; to run and hide from it until it was over; forget it existed. She didn't want holiday music or decorations; she didn't feel a need to shop for personalized gifts. She just didn't want any part of it at all. All of her good Christmases were behind her…and there were painful memories of all the ones she had spent alone…and the disaster of the year before dogging her heels. No; she didn't want any part of it; holiday hoopla was no longer a part of her life. She had washed her hands of all of it and would be more than happy to leave it in the past.

As the commercials faded and one of television's most popular courtroom shows came back on; she decided that she wasn't going to do it this year; she wasn't going to pretend to assuage anyone's feelings; she wasn't making any half hearted efforts. Her husband had only gone along with her desire to celebrate last year to humor her; his true feelings only being revealed after she and Kate had their tiff about the whole thing. She wouldn't dare even entertain the notion of any semblance of a holiday with her daughter. That was never going to happen; she accepted that and respected it. Johanna sighed as she once again resigned herself to that acceptance. Oh well; she wasn't going to bother this year; she had gone all out last year and it had gotten her nothing but heartache. This year they could embark on a new tradition; pretending it was like any other day as she always did in Wyoming while locked in her house with the curtains drawn and the phone off…or they could take up Jim's tradition and head up to the cabin. That's what he would've preferred the year before and if that's what would make him happy then she'd be happy to go. In fact the idea of shunning the city and being tucked away in the mountains appealed to her greatly. The quietness of their mountain home and the fresh, yet cold and crisp air would be refreshing. Perhaps she wouldn't feel so suffocated by the month if they spent part of it up their where things seemed so wide open and still; so free from drama and all the things she wanted to ignore. The cabin was definitely a good idea.

Deciding there was no better time than the present to make their holiday plans; Johanna rinsed the last plate and put it in the drainer and then grabbed the towel to start drying them. "When will we be leaving for the cabin?" she asked.

Jim glanced at her from over the newspaper as he sat at the table. "I wasn't aware that we had plans to go."

"For Christmas," she replied. "Remember, we said we'd stick to new traditions and yours is going to the cabin for the holiday so I was wondering when we'd be leaving."

"If you want to get specific about what you said last year, you said Katie could go where she wanted, I could go to the cabin and you'd be staying home."

"Alright," Johanna stated, ignoring the sting of the remark. "When will _you_ be leaving and when will you be back?"

"Johanna, don't be ridiculous," he retorted. "I'm not going anywhere without you."

She sighed. "Then my original question still stands; when are we leaving? Are we going on the 23rd or should we head out on the 22nd and avoid some of the traffic? We could even go the week before if you want; that is if your work is wrapped up by then for the holidays. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't mind at all if we left the week before and came back after the New Year."

"We're not going anywhere," Jim told her. "We're staying home where we belong for Christmas."

His wife blew out a breath. "I'd rather go to the cabin."

"No."

"Why not? It's what you wanted. You even said last year that you would've preferred it!"

"That was last year; this is this year."

"Jim; please; let's just get out of town and away from this holiday nonsense. You like low key holidays and I'm completely over holidays so let's just go up to the cabin and have a little vacation, okay?"

"No," he replied as he continued to read his paper.

"Give me one good reason," she stated tersely.

"Because I said so."

Johanna glared at him. "Fine; I'll go by myself."

"That's a deviation from the original plan but call me when you get there," he quipped.

A sheen of tears appeared in her eyes and she glanced away as she picked up another dish to dry. Maybe she should go by herself and wait out this holiday like a hermit…she had plenty of experience at it; it would be like being back in Wyoming and no one would have to worry about any expectations. "I will," she murmured. "I'll leave the 23rd and I'll come back the 27th…or 28th; whichever I feel like and weather depending. I'll make sure the groceries are stocked for you before I go."

Jim caught her eye. "You can't be serious. You don't really think there's a chance in hell that I'm letting you walk out of here to drive up to the cabin to spend Christmas alone, do you?"

"Then come with me," Johanna said; desperation coloring her tone. "I just can't do it again this year, Jim. Last Christmas is nothing but terrible memories and if we stay in the city I'll just keep thinking about them and I don't want to. I just want this holiday to be over and done with."

"Going away isn't going to make it leave any faster. It's just a form of hiding, isn't it?"

"No; it's me wanting us to have a stress free holiday this year since last year was a disaster but I see you're in the mood to be a jackass so I'll just drop the line of conversation and we can forget I mentioned anything. I'll be fine; don't worry about it."

"I know you will be," he said gently. "Last year is over; this one will be better, we're all more settled now. It'll be fine, Jo. I'm not saying you have to go through with any big plans, but we'll stay home and have a nice holiday. We do have family who might want to see us."

"Like who?" she asked, tossing the dish towel on the counter. "Andrew and Gabby are going to be in Maine so Gabby can see her grandmother. Valerie and Frankie are going to be in Florida on that family Christmas vacation they planned. Samantha will be with Lindsey and John in Virginia. Jeff and Maggie are so terrified of the thought of even attempting a family Christmas that they've already booked their plane tickets to Cancun so they can get the hell out of Dodge. I say we borrow a page from their playbook and hit the road too…hell, I'm even willing to go to Cancun too if you want; it'll be nice and warm there."

"I'm not going to Cancun," Jim replied. "And you forgot someone on your relative list."

"Who? Michael isn't going to come around here; they still treat me like I have the plague."

"I meant our daughter," he stated. "You remember her; you two were okay with each other a few weeks ago and I noticed that around her birthday you started being distant with her."

Johanna smiled. "Honey, she's not coming. She's engaged, she has her fiancé, a future step-daughter and mother-in-law that she will be spending the holidays with; which is how it should be. Face it, it's just you and me, so we may as well go have a romantic getaway."

"Oh, so now it's a romantic getaway?" he asked.

"How could it be anything else?" she replied. "It is you and me after all…you play your cards right and decide on a tropical vacation and you'll get the bonus of me spending the holiday in a bathing suit," she said with an enticing smile.

"The sight of you in a bathing suit is always tempting, sweetheart; but I don't think we should infringe on Jeff and Maggie's plans by showing up in Cancun."

She shrugged. "There are plenty of other tropical destinations…we could go to Hawaii. I love Hawaii."

"We already went to Hawaii this year," Jim remarked as he turned the page of his newspaper.

"Are people only allowed to visit Hawaii once a year?" she asked. "I didn't realize there was a restriction."

"There's not; I just don't want to go to Hawaii again."

"Why not? I thought we had fun."

"We did have fun," he replied with a smile. "It was wonderful; I enjoyed it a great deal and I have no problem taking you back there…but not for Christmas. I'll take you for your birthday if you really want to go back that badly."

She huffed in annoyance. "That's so far away."

Jim chuckled. "Really? I was under the impression that February was only two months away; give or take a few days."

Johanna sighed. "Well then you pick a place."

"I already have; it's called home. I'm not going anywhere for the holidays, Johanna."

"So it doesn't matter what I want?"

"We did what you wanted last year."

She turned back to the sink. "I hate this holiday," she muttered.

"You'll feel better once you start shopping."

"I'm not doing any damn shopping with the exception of you. I'll get the nieces and nephews gift cards and I'll do the same for Frankie and Valerie. You can handle anyone in your family that I don't deal with."

"I thought you said gift cards were cold and impersonal," Jim replied.

Johanna nodded. "That's the look I'm going for this season; cold and impersonal. Here's your card, go buy your own gift because I am done."

"What about Katie?"

"She didn't want the gifts I bought for her last year and they got returned," she replied, ignoring the sting that still lingered from the memory of their fight. "I'm not going to bother this year. She doesn't like gifts from me; that's why I sent her flowers on her birthday; I didn't want to ruin her day with an unwanted present. I'm not going through it again with her for Christmas and I don't want her showing up here with anything with my name on it either and I mean it, so you better pass that along and make it clear. If you want to get her something for Christmas; by all means, please do; just leave my name off of it…I don't want her to think I'm backtracking on our deal."

Jim sighed. "I told you last year to just get her gift cards; you wouldn't listen."

"Excuse me for trying to personalize gifts. I learned my lesson; that's what everyone else is getting this year; except you…and I can shop for you online so technically; my shopping can be done in a matter of minutes."

"Jo; you're overwhelming me with your enthusiasm."

"I don't have any damn enthusiasm," she exclaimed; "That's what I'm trying to get through to you. I'm not doing this again. I'm not shopping for gifts for everyone; I'm not decorating, I'm not baking. I'm not planning a big holiday dinner. I'm just not going to do it. It's not my thing anymore; I'm done. Our child is grown up and pretty much has a family of her own; she doesn't need me to provide her with a holiday. You made it clear last year that you didn't want anything that I did; that you just humored me until Katie laid it all out nice and clear. I'm not going through that again this year…all it did was cause problems between us. We didn't have a good Christmas and New Year's was even worse because…," she trailed off.

"Because we fought and you got pissed off enough to start showing everyone what you're made of," Jim stated. "I didn't like that we were having issues back then…but I think it was a good thing in the long run…I think it did you good."

"Didn't seem like it at the time," she replied.

He got up from his chair and crossed the room to stand near her. "Listen; I know it was bad last year…you started to make some good memories and then Katie and I ruined that for you; but that doesn't mean we need to run away this year. We're going to stay home; if you don't want to do anything for the holiday, you don't have to; but we're not going anywhere."

Johanna sighed and decided to play the only card she had left. "If you really loved me…"

"I do," Jim interrupted; "I love you madly; and we're still not going anywhere. If you want to go somewhere that badly; you'll be going alone…and then we'll be fighting again for the New Year and I don't think you want that."

That was true, Johanna thought to herself; she didn't want to be embroiled in marital discord for the New Year. "Alright, we'll stay home…but I'm serious; I'm not doing this holiday stuff. Absolutely none of it."

"Fine," he replied; figuring she'd change her mind later on; not that he was overly concerned if she didn't. He didn't really mind if she didn't want to go through all the usual holiday hoopla. A low key affair was fine with him.

"I'm serious."

"I believe you," he said as he brushed a kiss against her cheek; his phone suddenly blaring music. "Uh oh," he remarked; "That hasn't happened in awhile."

"Hello, Sarah," Johanna stated. "Welcome home."

"Do you see her?" Jim asked as he looked around the room.

"No, but clearly she's around."

"Maybe she's not happy with your holiday plans," he jested as he grabbed his phone from the table and silenced it.

"Or she wants to visit for the holidays," she replied.

"Well it's always nice to have family drop by for the holidays," he quipped. "Especially a guest who doesn't make a mess…unless she's mad at us."

Johanna conjured up a smile but she felt an odd sense of trepidation slide down her spine. She was used to Sarah McKenzie making her presence known from time to time; she was even used to her popping in to visit once in awhile. But for some reason she couldn't help but wonder if her husband's comment held some merit. Did Sarah have an opinion about her holiday plans or was she just checking in and letting them know she was still around?

A flash at the corner of her eye had her jerking her head in the direction of the doorway; the shimmering being of her grandmother stood there; her brow raised as her green eyes locked upon hers. Johanna's throat went dry, her lips parting as if to say something but as quickly as Sarah appeared, she was gone; the doorway empty once more, leaving Johanna to wonder if she had really seen her at all; if perhaps she had conjured up the image because Sarah was on her mind. She needed to stop thinking about the mischief making spirit that liked to pop in on occasion. It would just drive her crazy and she didn't need that.

She tried to push away the troubling thought of her ghostly grandmother having some opinion to share but a tiny knot formed in her stomach; a far more worrying thought pushing to the front of her mind. What if she did have an opinion? So far the only ghost to pop in on her every so often had been Sarah…but if Sarah had a point she wanted to drive home; would she bring friends to help her cause? That wasn't an overly pleasant thought. It wasn't what she wanted for Christmas…and there was no way to stop it if it was coming; at least she didn't think so; but she'd try. She'd just have to convince Sarah to go ahead and speak her piece if she had one and then politely tell her to mind her own business.

A glass she had finished drying and had set on the counter suddenly tipped over and rolled off, crashing to the floor and breaking. That wasn't a good sign, Johanna thought to herself as she looked at the broken pieces of glass on the floor.

"Are you having problems over there?" Jim asked from his seat at the table.

"Yeah," she replied. "I'm thinking we need to switch to plastic cups…it might cut down on having to buy new glasses every time this counter mysteriously rolls one onto the floor.

"Is it possible that you've ticked off your grandmother again?"

"Honey, when it comes to me, it's always possible that I've ticked someone off. Hopefully she's just being her usual mischief making self."

"She needs to take it easy on the glasses; this isn't the first time she's broken one."

"Yeah, I'll see if I can ask her to find a new trick," Johanna said as she carefully stepped around the broken glass to go get the broom. She was going to have to have a word with Sarah as soon as possible…but she was dreading it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews!_

Chapter 2- The Arrival

Johanna cursed herself for walking out of the house without her gloves as she walked across the old cemetery, heading for the black wrought iron fence at the far end of the property where her grandparents graves were located. She shivered, the cold air wrapping around her despite the warm black coat she wore. She had a bouquet of red and white carnations clutched in one hand; the other securely wrapped around the strap of her purse. Another shiver raced through her but it had nothing to do with the cold as she stepped around a patch of ice; the place was eerie and quiet…so very quiet. It always unnerved her and made her question her judgment about visiting but she had promised her aunt Bridget that she'd always make sure that Sarah and Patrick McKenzie had flowers for the holidays. She took a breath, the cold air stinging her lungs as she quickened her pace a little. She had another reason for coming as well…a mission she hoped could be completed quickly.

A cardinal was perched on Sarah's stone as Johanna approached; the bird squawking as soon as she came near. She smirked a little, not surprised in the slightest when the bird didn't move when she came to a stop in front of the graves. She separated her bouquet and kneeled down to place the flowers in each vase, the bird carrying on its racket as she did so.

"I know it's you, Sarah; stop squawking at me and say your piece if you're of a mind to do so."

The bird ruffled its feathers, puffing itself up with indignation as it squawked louder. Johanna rolled her eyes. "If you expect me to understand that I'm going to need a translator."

The cardinal flew away but Johanna remained kneeling on the ground. She had a feeling Sarah would show herself sooner or later…and she hoped it would be sooner. She was sure that Sarah was around, not only because of the cardinal, but because Jim's phone had misbehaved all morning, her paperweight was missing again and the house had been chilly. She breathed deeply; she didn't mind Sarah's mischief or her occasional visits…but she had a feeling that there might be something more to Sarah's return beyond keeping her promise to pop in once in awhile. Her grandmother was an opinionated woman; Jim's joke the night before could be correct…Sarah might not be pleased with her attitude.

Johanna sighed; just what she needed; a moody ghost.

"You could've waited for me at home," Sarah declared as she appeared next to her. "It's not like I don't know where to find you."

"I know," she answered; "But I wanted to bring flowers anyway."

Her grandmother eyed her knowingly. "Mhmm…and you were hoping to head off anything I might have to say that you won't like."

Johanna's brow rose. "Does that mean you intend to say things I won't like?"

Sarah shrugged as she motioned for her to rise from her place on the ground. "I usually always stumble across something that you aren't too crazy about; but it's alright, I don't fear your temper, kitten."

"Why don't I like the sound of that?" she asked. "That sounds like you have something up your sleeve."

Sarah held her gaze. "I believe you suspected that already…that's why you came here. You thought if you came here that it would be a brief conversation that you could shut down quickly and then go one your way…but, kitten, your grandmother isn't a fool. I know you, I know the tricks up your sleeve…so I think we should get you out of this cold weather before you get sniffles that will have Jim fretting and get you home. Your house is nice and cozy and far more comfortable."

She knew it wouldn't do any good to protest; Sarah could come and go as she pleased; she could find her anywhere and at any time. There was no running from a ghost…and it seemed, there was no running from the opinions of others and the things she'd like to avoid. Her head lowered in a moment of defeat.

"You're a McKenzie," Sarah stated.

The comment made her raise her head, her cold hand slipping into her pocket for her car keys. "I guess I'll see you at home, Sarah," she said in resignation.

The ghost shook her head. "No, I'll ride along with you."

"You're coming with me?"

"Oh yes; I love to ride in automobiles and yours is so pretty. Red is such a lovely color."

Johanna nodded. "It's my favorite."

"I know," Sarah remarked. "Come along; let's get going."

"I have a question," she said as they made their way toward the car. "Do I need to open the door for you or are you going to get in on your own."

"I can get in on my own," Sarah answered; "But it might be nice to have someone open a door for me for a change."

"Is anyone going to see me doing that?" Johanna asked; "Because I assume I'm the only one who can see you at the moment."

"No one will see," the spirit promised.

She wasn't too sure about that but she unlocked the passenger side door and made a show of laying her purse inside as Sarah glided into the seat, a cool tingling breeze brushing against Johanna as she did so. Seeing that her companion was seated, Johanna closed the door and hurried around to the driver's side and got in, locking the door behind her.

"I can't believe this," she muttered; looking at the beaming spirit in the seat next to her. "I'm chauffeuring a ghost."

"How do you know that you haven't before? You have no idea who might have been in your car at various times."

"I'm not sure that's an entirely comforting thought so let's move on," Johanna said as she put the key in the ignition and started the car.

"May I play with your telephone?" Sarah asked as she plucked it from the pocket of Johanna's purse. "Do you still have that candy game you showed me before?"

She sighed and remained parked, holding out her hand for the phone so she could launch the app. "I think maybe it was a bad idea that I showed you this," she remarked, laying the phone on top of her purse for Sarah to retrieve as she wanted to pull out before the car approaching could park near her.

"I like it," the spirit quipped as she picked up the phone and began to touch the screen.

"Yes, I know…knock yourself out."

"Can we go on a short trip?" Sarah asked, glancing away from the screen.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I want to see my house," she replied. "I haven't seen my house in a long time."

"How come?"

"Because once Patrick had joined me and it was sold, there was no reason for me to visit it…but I would like to see it, if it isn't too much trouble."

"No, no trouble at all," Johanna said softly.

* * *

The soft sound of the radio was the noise in the car for several minutes as Johanna headed toward the home that Patrick and Sarah McKenzie had lived in…a house she could find her way to blindfolded because it sat at the bottom of the street she had grown up on. She couldn't help but wonder what it would've been like if things had gone differently and she had grown up with Sarah just down the street.

"It would've been nice," Sarah spoke; startling her from her thoughts.

"What?" Johanna asked.

"If I had gotten to live down the street from you when you were growing up; it would've been nice."

"Yeah; it would've been…I have a feeling the time I ran away, I probably would've run to you if you had been there."

Sarah gave her a small sad smile. "I would've taken you inside and set you down for cookies and tea; listened to your troubles and then called your mother to arrange an overnight stay."

"That would've been nice," she murmured. "It would've been way better than being brought home by that cop."

The spirit smiled. "I was glad he came across you when he did…I wasn't sure how to get you out of that train station. That was a trying day for both of us."

Johanna gave a soft laugh. "I'm sorry."

"Oh it's alright; a little excitement is good for us," Sarah quipped. "I would've never let you get on the train though, even if you had enough money. I would've taken drastic measures."

"Like what?"

"Like scaring the hell out of you and sending you running back home."

"That doesn't sound like fun," Johanna remarked. "I'm glad it didn't come to that."

"Me too."

Soon enough, Johanna was turning onto that familiar street, an ancient ache spreading slowly across her heart as she recalled that her mother was no longer just two more minutes away from the house her grandparents had owned. She pulled over in front of her grandfather's house, glancing at Sarah as she peered out at it. "Where's my tree?" the spirit asked softly; her pale hands fluttering against her chest. "Where's my Cherry Blossom tree?"

"I guess the most recent owners had it cut down," Johanna said gently.

"Oh how could they!" Sarah cried. "Patrick got me that tree because I loved them so. Oh how could they be so cruel?"

"I'm sorry, Sarah," Johanna murmured. "The tree was still there before I left so I assume the most recent owners are responsible. It was a beautiful tree; I can see why you loved it."

The spirit's lower lip trembled and she glanced away for a second before looking back to the house that she had called home. "They painted my shutters and the trim blue…Patrick always kept them black."

"I remember," Johanna told her.

"I suppose my flower beds in the back are probably gone too," Sarah said with a whimper. "The ones beside the porch certainly are."

She nodded; the ghost's sadness easily felt as it filled the car. "I see toys in the yard; children must live here," she said; hoping to bring Sarah some kind of comfort.

The spirit nodded. "It is a house meant to be full of children."

"Judging from the toys I'd say there's at least two; a boy and a girl."

"Take me away from here, Josie; my heart hurts," Sarah whispered as if she couldn't bear the sight of her old home any longer.

Johanna put the car in drive and drove up the street, coming to a stop in front the house she had grown up in. The for sale sign was still in the yard; the windows empty of curtains and blinds.

"This is where you grew up," Sarah stated.

"Yes," she whispered; "And it makes my heart hurt too. I keep trying to convince Greg to buy it so it can be brought back into the family. He's looking for a house for him and Kelly and Ally…and baby number two; whoever it might be. He says he's considering it…I keep hoping they'll get it."

"Perhaps they will and then you'll be able to visit home again," the spirit stated.

"That would be nice."

"I'm sure you have fond Christmas memories in that house," Sarah commented.

Johanna stiffened slightly. "Yes; I do."

"It would probably be nice to be back there at Christmas time again; it wouldn't be the same of course; but being in that house, with family living there once again…I bet it would feel very special."

"I'm sure you have fond memories of your house too, Sarah," she said as she put the car in drive and continued on down the road so she could turn around and head back the way she needed.

"I do…especially at Christmas time. Everything is so much warmer and special at Christmas; don't you agree?"

Johanna glanced at her quickly; her jaw tight with tension. "No; I don't."

"Hmm," Sarah said; "That sounds like a problem we need to address."

"We don't."

"We do but it can wait until your home. I can't believe that you really don't enjoy the feel the holidays bring."

"Well believe it," she snapped. "I am through with holidays."

"Yes; you've been saying that…I just don't think it's such a good idea."

"I wasn't aware that I had asked your opinion."

"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!"

"I wouldn't take a tone with you if you didn't poke into things that don't need poked."

"Like last year?" Sarah asked. "I think you needed a lot of…shall we say, provoking, at that time too."

Johanna sighed. "Am I in for another round of visitors, Sarah?"

"At the moment you'll just be putting up with me…but if I need to bring a few friends in to help with this endeavor; I will."

"They're suiting up in the locker room, huh?"

"Something like that," Sarah declared as she put Johanna's phone back in her purse.

"Giving up on the game already?"

"Yes; I can't seem to win that round."

"I've been stuck on it all week if it makes you feel any better."

"A little; but I shall feel much better once we adjust your attitude a little."

"My attitude is fine," Johanna declared.

"Not about some things."

She sighed. "Must we do this?"

"Not right at this second, no," Sarah said. "I'll meet you at your home and we'll continue there."

"Oh good, something to look forward to," Johanna said; her tone carrying a hint of snark as Sarah faded from sight.

* * *

As Johanna stepped through the back door and into the kitchen, she could tell that Sarah was indeed waiting for her somewhere in the house. Her home felt chilly as it always did when she had a guest from the other realm waiting on her and she could hear the distressed meows of her kitten…or perhaps it wasn't right to still call her a kitten; she was only a few months short of a year old. Scarlett wasn't overly fond of Sarah's random visits; Johanna mused as she dropped her purse and keys on the table and shrugged out of her coat; draping it over the chair before heading in the direction of the office. For some reason the spirit frightened her small grey and white tabby.

As she pushed open the door of the office, Scarlett came running toward her with a meow. She stooped down and picked up her cat, cuddling her close as Sarah meowed at her. Johanna cut her a sharp look. "Sarah, don't torment my cat; she's just a baby."

"I'm not tormenting her," the spirit declared from the piano bench that she had dragged over in front of Johanna's desk.

"Then what do you call it?"

"Trying to speak to her in her own language," Sarah remarked. "She gives new meaning to the term scaredy cat."

"She does not," Johanna said as she carried the cat to her chair and settled down, placing her on her lap. "It's alright, Scarlett; Sarah won't hurt you."

The cat meowed and jumped down to hide beneath the desk, settling closed to Johanna's feet. Sarah shook her head. "I hope you weren't counting on her to be some type of guard animal."

"Do you have a problem with my cat?" she asked.

"Yes; she doesn't like me," her grandmother declared. "Why doesn't she like me?"

"Maybe because you pop up in front of her and it scares the hell out of her…and then you meow at her," Johanna replied. "Maybe you should be nice to her."

"Alright; I'll bring her a kitty treat next time I come."

"Where are you going to get kitty treats?"

"I get what I need," Sarah declared. "I'm still not sure Scarlett is a proper name for a kitty; it's quite unusual."

"I named her after Scarlett O'Hara," Johanna remarked. "I was reading Gone With The Wind when Jim gave her to me; I already explained that to you."

"Yes, I know," Sarah said with a wave of her hand. "Let's move on. First of all; it's so nice to see you again, darling."

"It's nice to see you too, Sarah," she replied warmly. "I missed you when fall came and your random summer visits stopped."

"I missed our chats too but I was still with you."

"I know…I do wish though that you'd quit breaking glasses around here. They aren't as cheap as they were in your day, you know?"

"I'm sure things have gone up a little," Sarah remarked.

"A little," Johanna scoffed. "Try a lot."

"Anyway," the spirit declared. "Let's move on to more pressing topics."

"Oh goody," she said sarcastically. "I can hardly wait."

Sarah smiled. "Your wait is over, kitten. We shall broach the topic that's had you jolting awake all night; fearing that you're going to see me standing next to your bed and tell you to touch my dress so that we can fly off to the past."

"We're not going to do that, are we?" Johanna asked with trepidation.

"No; not that I know of…but if you press me, I might have to do it just to teach you a lesson."

Johanna shuddered at the thought. "I don't think I want to sign up for that experience."

Her grandmother's lips tipped upwards at one corner, a victorious look in her eyes. "No; you definitely do not want to sign up for that."

She sighed as she leaned down and unzipped her boots; pulling them off carefully to keep from hitting the cat who was still curled up next to her feet. "Let's just get on with it, Sarah."

A stern look crossed the spirit's features. "What is this business about you not celebrating Christmas this year?"

"It's really quite simple; I'm not doing it."

"Why not?"

"I celebrated last year; it was a disaster. I don't want a repeat and I'm not doing it. I'm done with all of it; the shopping, the decorating, the baking, and whatever else there is."

"You're really going to give those things called gift cards?"

"Yes," she said with a nod.

"What exactly is a gift card, darling?"

Johanna opened one of her desk drawers and took out the credit card she used for online shopping. "See this credit card?"

"Yes."

"A gift card is the same size and shape as this; they're decorated for the holiday. You go to a specific store and you pick up one from their display and you tell the cashier how much money you want to put on it; for example, I would give Valerie a $100 gift card for Macy's; so I'd go ahead and pay Macy's that amount and they'd put it on the card for Valerie to use when she goes shopping."

Sarah frowned. "How utterly exciting. How does one stand the suspense when that card is handed over?"

Johanna smirked at her as she put her credit card away. "It's how things are done now, Sarah."

"Not by you."

"Yes; it's now going to be done by me too. Everybody gets gift cards."

Sarah arched a dark brow. "You're really going to give little Ally and little Jacob gift cards?"

Johanna sighed. "No; I'll order the little ones a toy and an outfit; plus give them a few dollars for their savings accounts."

"How nice of you…what about Gabby?"

"Gabby is a teenage girl; she'll be happy with a gift card; she'll have the freedom to pick her own gift."

"And Jim?"

"I'm buying Jim gifts. I already have a list of books he wants, the usual things like new clothes and cologne, things of that nature. I'm getting him a new wallet for sure; because that thing he's been carrying around for the last twenty years is about shot. I'll get him some tickets for an upcoming sports game and I'll find something big to get him too. I'd like to find himself something for the Camaro he's restoring but that might be a little harder to work with."

"I wasn't speaking of Jim gift wise; you already told him that you'd be buying him gifts," the spirit declared. "I meant celebration wise. Perhaps he'd like to celebrate the holiday."

Johanna laughed. "No, he doesn't."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Trust me, I do."

Sarah gave her a sharp look. "How do you know that he doesn't want to make up for last year?"

"Because I know my husband; when he wants to make up for something, he does it within a few days…not a year later. Jim doesn't care about Christmas and I'm totally over it. We're fine…expect for the fact that he doesn't want to go to the cabin and I'd like nothing more."

"Perhaps his reluctance means he wants to stay here and make Christmas good for you again."

"He doesn't; he just doesn't want to go right now. I figure he doesn't think his work will be done on time. Believe me, he doesn't care if we celebrate the holiday or not; he told me as much."

"What if it's just a front?"

"It's not," Johanna argued.

Sarah sighed. "Darling; I love you…but you can't just shun the holiday and pretend it doesn't exist. You've always loved Christmas."

"The key word in the sentence is _loved,_ which is past tense. I no longer love it; I haven't for a long time."

"You were finding joy in it last year," Sarah said softly.

Johanna smirked at her. "Yeah; and we saw how that ended. I appreciate your concern about the topic, Sarah; but I'm not going to change my mind, so you may as well stop this live of conversation. I'm more than happy to have you pop in for your visits but the case of the holiday is closed."

"We'll see about that," Sarah said; her eyes flashing with challenge.

"I guess we will because I'm not going to budge on this, Sarah."

"Oh you'll budge," the spirit declared; "If I have to shove you myself. You will learn to embrace Christmas once more. It's supposed to be the happiest time of the year and damn it you're going to be happy!"

Johanna laughed. "What are you going to do? Tie me to a Christmas tree?"

"I haven't ruled anything out yet," she declared.

"I'm all a tremble," Johanna replied, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"Don't sass me, kitten," Sarah retorted. "You're going to celebrate Christmas…one way or another."

She smiled; disbelief shining in her eyes. "Sure, Sarah; whatever you say."

A flick of Sarah's wrist and the shelf full of books went tumbling to the floor from the book case; startling Scarlett and causing her to leap up on Johanna's lap, trembling beneath her hand as it stroked over her soothingly. "Damn it, Sarah; I hate when you do that!"

Sarah gave an exaggerated pout. "Oh isn't that a pity?" she said dramatically. "Perhaps it will teach you not to sass your grandmother. This is far from over, Johanna Elizabeth. Mark my words; you haven't heard the last of this."

"If you say so," Johanna replied.

The spirit gave her a sharp look before fading away once more; Johanna's phone suddenly blaring music from the kitchen. She sighed and looked down at her cat who was snuggled as close as she could get to her. "It's alright, Scarlett; she's gone now."

The cat meowed and she continued to pet her soothingly. "I know she scares you but really she's harmless," Johanna told her pet. "At least I think so."


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews! This is my last prepared chapter so there may be a small wait for the next one as I'm in the middle of working on Reflections next chapter._

Chapter 3- Another Brick Wall

Jim cast a cautious glance around the parking garage as he headed toward his car after work that day. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched although there was no indication that anyone was around. He had been alone on the elevator and while he heard cars moving on the upper levels of the garage, he didn't see anyone in the vicinity of his own vehicle. He supposed he was still a little paranoid even though the Bracken mess had been settled 6 months before. The occasional reporter still popped up now and then but for the most part they had been scarce since early April…for which he was thankful. The back of his neck still tingled though and he cast a careful glance in the back windows of his car and then the front as he unlocked the door and hurried to get inside. He locked the doors and tossed his briefcase on the floor of the passenger side and shoved his key in the ignition; he was just paranoid; there wasn't anything out there.

"I love riding in automobiles, don't you?" a feminine voice exclaimed from beside him, making him jump and bump the horn of the car.

"Jeepers creepers, they make those things loud don't they!" the voice added, a pale hand fluttering against her green silk dress.

"Christ, Sarah," Jim muttered; "Can't you give a damn warning when you're going to pop in? You almost gave me a heart attack and I really don't want tomorrow's headline to be 'Jim Beckett Dies of Fright…I have a reputation to maintain you know."

Sarah McKenzie smiled mischievously, reminding him of his wife. "Oh I'd make sure that if I caused your demise that the headline would carry a much more noble cause."

"That's nice of you. What the hell are you doing here? I thought you usually only did this with Johanna?"

"Just because I primarily visit Josie doesn't mean I can't visit you too; now does it?"

He shrugged. "I suppose not; you're here."

"You said you didn't mind me being around…you said it's nice when family visits."

"I don't mind you being around, Sarah; I'd just prefer that you announce yourself so I don't ram my car into a wall or worse."

"Alright; next time I will loudly announce my presence…but really, dear; who did you think was watching you?"

Jim side eyed her. "I was supposed to assume my wife's dead grandmother?"

"Don't be mean," Sarah chastened. "It's not a good look on you."

"I apologize; I didn't mean to offend you."

"I'll overlook it this time…since I'm so fond of Johanna."

He smiled; the family resemblance was easy to see. "How could you not be fond of her; she is your granddaughter and namesake."

"She is special, isn't she?"

He nodded. "She is."

"Well now that we've agreed on that; are we going to drive now or sit here in this horrid monstrosity all day?" the spirit asked. "What do they call these things again?"

"Parking garage," he answered; "But before we go anywhere; am I the only one who can see you in the passenger seat or can everyone…because if you can be seen and someone who knows me sees me riding around with some woman in my car and that gets back to Johanna; I'll be joining you on the other side because she'll shoot me."

Sarah shook her head. "I wouldn't let that happen; I'd make sure she knew it was me."

"That's nice; but I can't chance that you'd get held up in the other realm and be thirty seconds too late…so can everybody see you or just me?"

"Only you, dear; rest easy; your friends won't be calling to report you for adultery."

"Good to know…of course on the flip side, I'm going to be riding around looking like I'm talking to myself…of course I should probably question my sanity a bit anyway; I am carrying on a conversation with a ghost."

"You're fine," she told him; "And as for looking like you're talking to yourself; no one will notice. It's New York; I'm sure things haven't changed that much from my time."

"That could be true," he agreed as he began to back out of his parking space.

"Oh good, we're moving," Sarah said happily. "I do love riding in automobiles. I didn't like driving one much but I did enjoy riding in them."

"I like driving," Jim remarked.

"You're very good at it," the spirit replied; "You didn't hit any of those other cars while pulling out."

He smirked. "Did you hit a few cars in your time, Sarah?"

"One or two," she said with a wave of her hand; "But it was their fault for parking so close to me."

"They should've known better," he quipped; easily imagining the menace Sarah must've been behind the wheel in the 1920s.

"They should have," she agreed. "Let's go sight seeing!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have a wife to get home to," Jim answered. "She'll probably have dinner ready to be put on the table. You wouldn't want her to worry, now would you?"

"No; but we could just take a short trip around the city, don't you think?"

"At this time of day there are no short trips around the city. It's nothing but traffic; I'm going home."

"Fine," she huffed. "Let me play with your telephone."

"What!"

Sarah eyed him. "I want to play with your telephone."

"It's a cell phone…more specifically; a smart phone…and I think you play with it enough."

"Please?" she pouted; "I want to see if it's as smart as it thinks it is."

"No."

"Johanna lets me look at her telephone," Sarah remarked. "The last time I visited, she let play that game where you move candies."

"Oh my God," Jim muttered; "My wife taught a ghost how to play Candy Crush."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Well I guess it isn't any worse than me driving home and carrying on a conversation with you like I do it every day."

"It's perfectly natural, dear," Sarah remarked; "A lot of people do it…you don't think anything of Johanna doing it; she told you about the visits she had last year…I popped in on you last year."

"Yes; I remember," he remarked; watching as her pale fingers reached for the buttons on the radio. "Leave the radio alone."

"But I don't care much for this music; it's just not me. It's loud."

"Well what can I say, Sarah; they just don't make Charleston music like they used to."

The ghost narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you sassing me, young man?"

"Young man," he chuckled; "I'm in my 60s."

"You're still younger than me."

"Well that's true…tell me, what was it like traveling by horse and buggy?"

"Oh hush!" Sarah said; indignation flicking across her face. "You do know that I am your grandmother by marriage; don't you?"

"Yes, I'm aware of it, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"It means you shouldn't sass me."

"I'm sure Johanna's sassed you plenty."

"She has…I sass her back."

"I'd kind of like to see that," Jim admitted.

"May I play with your telephone now?"

"No!"

Sarah sighed. "I didn't realize you had this mean streak; I don't know how Johanna puts up with you."

He grinned. "She just can't resist me."

"She should try harder."

"That's a matter of opinion," Jim remarked as he stopped at a light; looking around to make sure no one was paying him any mind.

"Relax, dear; no one is paying attention to you," Sarah remarked; "And even if someone could see me; they might think it was Katie in your car."

"No they wouldn't; your hair is too dark and Katie wouldn't be caught dead in that dress…no pun intended."

"You don't like my dress?" Sarah asked; outrage on her face.

"I didn't say that…it's just that Katie wouldn't wear that; it's old fashioned…outdated."

"Josie calls it vintage."

"Your Josie is nice like that."

"It's too bad her husband isn't."

"I'll try to reform," Jim quipped. "Now do you have a reason for riding home with me…a reason other than wanting to play with my phone?"

"Yes," Sarah answered; "I do have a reason."

"What is it?"

"Johanna," she replied. "I'm concerned."

Jim's heart squeezed tightly and he held the steering wheel with an iron grip as he began to drive once again. "What's wrong with Johanna?" he asked; his tone panicked. "Is she sick?"

'No, not at all; Johanna is a very healthy person; you don't need to worry about that."

"Is she in danger?" he asked; fear growing in the pit of his stomach. "Is someone still after her?"

Sarah's cool fingers brushed his wrist. "No, dear; nothing like that. Johanna is perfectly fine health wise and she's in no danger. I'm concerned about this way she's feeling right now…her attitude about the holidays and such."

His heart rate slowed back into its normal rhyme and he released a relieved breath. "Sarah; you're hell on my heart."

"I'm sorry," she replied; "But honestly; if something was seriously wrong like you thought; I would've told you right away instead of chatting."

That was most likely true, he thought to himself; Sarah wouldn't have wasted time. "Jo's just not feeling the holiday spirit yet," he remarked. "I don't blame her and if she doesn't want to get into all that; then I'm not going to force her."

"I don't think you should be so blasé about Johanna's feelings about the holiday," Sarah remarked.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked. "I can't _make_ her have holiday spirit. I don't mind if she doesn't want to bother with it."

"You should mind."

"Why?"

"Because she's still healing…and this is a part of her healing process. Last Christmas started off so well for her and then it blew up in her face and she's carrying a scar from it. She's made so much progress…I'd hate to see this wall left in place," the spirit declared.

Jim hadn't really thought about that; although he agreed that Johanna had made a great deal of progress since the previous holiday season. He wasn't sure this holiday issue was worth pushing with her; he was proud that she was primarily back to being as she always was…that she was more settled now with the media pretty much absent from their lives and Bracken dealings fading into the background of everyone's lives. Perhaps his ghostly passenger was making more out of it than need be. "Alright, Sarah; I won't be so blasé about her feelings; I'll take her up to the cabin like she wanted. I have some work for this case that can be handled from there; I could probably manage the two week getaway she'd like."

"No!" Sarah exclaimed. "Telling her no was the right thing you did."

"So I'm assuming from that statement that I did something wrong?"

"Obviously," Sarah sighed. "You basically told her it was fine to shun the holiday."

He sighed. "I can't help it, Sarah. I haven't had any holiday spirit myself for a long time."

"Johanna didn't leave you at Christmas."

"No; it was 15 days later…the house was still decorated and one of the books I had given her for Christmas was laying on the nightstand. The season brings back bad memories and I don't like to dwell on them…especially now that she's home and we can put it behind us."

"If you were really putting it behind you; last year wouldn't have gone so badly and you wouldn't be so content with her turning her back on something that she always enjoyed," Sarah remarked.

"I did my best for her last year," Jim stated. "I didn't let her see me cringe at the sight of a Christmas tree in the living room. I didn't let her see it bother me to see decorations scattered through the house. I watched all of her favorite shows with her; I even went shopping with her once. It wasn't me who caused it all to crash and burn...that was Katie. If Katie hadn't lied, we wouldn't have had any problems. If Katie had just kept her mouth shut when she got caught in her lie, we wouldn't have had any problems. But Katie didn't keep her mouth shut, she had to drag me into and it caused me a lot of grief because I spent the rest of the month fighting with my wife. This is Katie's fault; not mine."

"Oh there's no denying that Katie has blame to carry," Sarah replied. "But you do as well…you added fuel to the fire that Katie started."

"I know," he admitted; "But I wouldn't have had any fuel to add if Katie hadn't struck the damn match."

The spirit smiled. "She can be a bit of a handful, can't she?"

"Yes…she gets that from her mother…and most likely, from her great grandmother."

"No comment," Sarah replied. "But I need you to try a little harder in this area, Jim. You both need to get past bad memories…Christmas has plenty of bad memories for Johanna as well, you know? All those Christmases that you were without her; she was without you too. She was alone, just like you; no decorations, no celebration, no family dinner…not even some meaningless gift to open. She isolated herself when the holiday came around…and that one friend she had; she couldn't get through to her no matter how hard she tried. She just couldn't reach her and Johanna didn't want to be reached. But when she came home; she couldn't wait to have holidays with her family again; couldn't wait to do what she had always done, shopping, baking, decorating. Those things don't seem like much to some people; but they're something to her. Christmas used to be a happy time for both of you and it can be again if you'd both give it another try."

He blew out an aggravated breath. "I'd rather just take her to the cabin like she asked."

Sarah gave him a stern look. "If you do that; I will have no choice but to come with you…and I'm bringing friends."

"What kind of friends?"

"I'm not telling you that…but you'll know we're there, I promise you that."

"I'll call some of those paranormal people to clear you all out," Jim replied.

She smiled. "You're adorable when you think you have all the answers. I assure you that your fancy ghost busters can not get rid of me or anyone else…we go where we please and we don't leave until we're ready or no longer needed. So you call in all you want, dumpling; I'll still be there when they leave."

"I don't think I like that nickname," Jim remarked.

She shrugged a silk clad shoulder. "Well I don't think I like how obtuse you are but we both have crosses to bear."

"My God, Johanna is just like you. I thought she got this personality from Sophia but apparently it's you."

"Don't rule Sophia out completely…Johanna has a touch of me, a touch of Sophia, a good bit of Frank and a good helping of Naomi."

"I wouldn't mention the part about Frank."

"She does get a bit testy about that, doesn't she?"

"She does," he said with a nod. "She juts that chin up and gets that look on her face that's just like him."

Sarah giggled. "That is true."

He smiled; a part of him still wondering if he should be concerned for his sanity…there was a ghost in his car after all. "Your sanity is fine," Sarah stated. "So is Johanna's."

"You read minds too?"

"When the occasion calls for it. Now let's get back to business at hand; what are we going to do about Johanna and Christmas?"

"I don't know; you vetoed my idea."

The ghost frowned. "You're more stubborn than she is."

"I think I'd like a second opinion on that."

"Well you're not getting one," she retorted. "Now we need to turn this around for Johanna; we need to show her that there's no need to put Christmas in the past."

"Did you ever think that maybe you're just a nosy ghost?" Jim asked. "If we're both fine with it, why should it bother you?"

"I've already explained that; and besides; one day you'll have grandchildren…"

Jim laughed. "Are you sure about that? I love Katie with all my heart but she's not much of a baby person."

"Neither were you," Sarah retorted; "And yes, you will have grandchildren; I know it for a fact; and do you want your grandchildren not seeing you and Johanna on the holiday because you're off jet setting somewhere to avoid it? Little children want their grandparents to enjoy Christmas with them. Are you going to disappoint them?"

"I'll worry about that when it happens," he replied. "For now we have no grandchildren to disappoint."

Sarah gave him an unamused look. "I feel a tantrum coming on."

"Oh for God's sake; don't start having one of your fits."

"Perhaps I'd be a little calmer if I was allowed to play with your telephone while we discuss our issue…do you have the candy game?"

"No I don't," Jim stated; "And you're not playing with my phone, I told you. You play with it enough."

Sarah's chin jutted up a notch; making him realize that Frank and Johanna had inherited that trait from the ghost in the seat next to him. "Fine; be stingy…but you still need to try and help me bring Johanna around to celebrating the holiday once again."

Jim exhaled an aggravated breath. "What do you want me to do, Sarah?"

"Make an effort," she replied. "Encourage her to do things that she liked; like decorating…baking…isn't that peppermint cake of hers a fond memory between the two of you?"

He smiled. "Yeah, it is," he answered; recalling Johanna's request to find the perfect peppermint cake recipe during the Christmas season when they were engaged. He must've helped her taste test at least eight cakes and finally she had come up with the winning combination; one of her own making and he had made her promise to make him that cake every Christmas…and she had, right up until she had to leave. She had resumed the tradition last year and he had devoured it as always.

"You don't want to her not to make that cake, do you?" Sarah asked; "Because she doesn't intend to bake."

"That is a bit disappointing," Jim agreed. "I do love that cake."

"So does she…because she created that recipe with you; it's special to her…just as Christmas cookies are because they remind her of when she was little and made them with Naomi…they remind her of when Katie was little and she made them with her. There's the fudge too…"

"I love the fudge," he interrupted. "It's very good."

"It reminds her of her grandfather," Sarah remarked. "Patrick loved fudge; Naomi always made sure he had his own batch for Christmas. Even the candy canes she buys have a memory; they…"

"Remind her of Naomi's father," Jim stated. "I know; he gave her candy canes when she was a little girl. I never got to know either one of her grandfathers."

"I know, dear; but little things remind her of the people who are no longer with her. Just like midnight mass and biscotti remind her of Sophia. Johanna is a woman of tradition in many ways; the things that were instilled in her as a girl are still the things she loves and cherishes…things she made a part of her own family."

"But sometimes you have to let those things go," Jim said slowly. "Things change and they can't be changed back."

Sarah shook her head. "You never have to let go of who you are at the core. Johanna's come a long way since last year. Things aren't as perfect as she'd like in some areas but she's learned to let go and to make her peace with the things she can't control…but don't let her lose anything else, Jim. Don't let her box up this part of her and put it away with the other things she's been forced to abandon."

He sighed. "I'll get her to bake the damn cake, Sarah. I'll spoil her with gifts and take her to the cabin and we'll go out and find some little tree she can decorate up there. We'll have a nice holiday at the cabin."

Sarah huffed with annoyance. "My goodness you're exasperating; I told you not going to the cabin was best! Are you purposely not listening because you don't want to let go of your hang ups or are you always this way?"

"Hey; I don't need a ghost harping at me," Jim stated. "I didn't ask you to pop into my car; go bother your granddaughter if you want someone to visit. Go visit your daughter; I'm sure Bridget wouldn't mind."

"I am not harping at you!"

"You are; you're trying to tell me how to take care of my wife and I know how to do that job; I don't need your help."

The spirit's eyes flashed with irritation and what he suspected was a bit of anger. "Fine; I don't require the help of a sap!"

"A sap?!" Jim exclaimed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Sarah's chin jutted upwards once more, her eyes narrowed. "Why don't you ask your smart telephone; maybe it can explain it to you," she retorted.

"Smart phone, Sarah; smart phone."

The spirit gave him on last glare and vanished; a rush of cold air filling the car and the radio suddenly blasting. "Sarah," Jim said as he turned down the radio.

The car remained cold despite the heat running and he knew it was a punishment for angering the ghost. He sighed. "It all makes sense now…it never fails; you meet the extended family, even in ghost form, and you suddenly have all the answers about why your wife is the way she is. All the pieces of the puzzle are together now."

The radio stations began to turn themselves and he muttered a few curses as he finally came to the turn that would take him home. "Damn nosy ghosts," he stated and then he quickly clamped his lips shut. It probably wasn't a good idea to continue to ruffle Sarah's feathers…God only knew what kind of tantrum she'd throw.

 _Author's Note: Sarah's just getting started..._


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews; I'm so glad some of you are anxious to return to this series; I'm very excited to write it; I have a lot of ideas!_

Chapter 4- Mood Swing

That evening as they ate dinner; both Jim and Johanna tried to ignore the chilliness of the house despite the furnace running and the lights that kept flickering every few minutes. It was clear that there was an unhappy being in their home but they were both doing their best not to mention their visits from Sarah.

"How was your day?" Jim asked between bites of his dinner.

"It was fine," Johanna answered. "I took flowers to the cemetery like I promised Bridget I would."

He glanced at her, a hint of worry in his eyes that he always tried and failed at concealing. "I know things are much quieter now, Jo; but I still wish you wouldn't go there alone."

"I know," she replied. "It was a spur of the moment decision and I didn't call because I knew you were taking depositions today and I didn't want to interrupt that. I came right back home."

Old fears were hard to shake, Jim thought to himself as he looked across the table at his wife. "You can always leave me a message…so let me know the next time you're going; okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yes; I'm sorry I didn't do that today. I guess I wasn't thinking."

"It's alright," he told her, his foot bumping hers beneath the table. "Old habits, you know?"

She smiled softly as she nodded. "I know."

"Did you do anything else?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to say that she'd had company in the form of a ghost but she refrained. "Just my usual every day things; I did look over that file you gave me and made a few notes but I want to go over it some more tomorrow to make sure I didn't miss anything."

He nodded. "That's fine, sweetheart; take your time."

"I did some checking about the weather for this month…they say there's a pretty good chance for snow in the mountains around Christmas…we'd be nice and cozy at the cabin. It's beautiful up there when it snows, don't you think?"

"Yes it is…but we're not going."

"I don't see why not," Johanna huffed.

"We can't go off and leave Scarlett," he replied; figuring that was as good of an excuse as any.

Johanna met his eye. "Who said anything about leaving her? We took her with us when we went a few months ago; she didn't mind. The only time we left her was when we were traveling and Gabby was a very reliable cat sitter."

"I know," he replied; "Andrew still mentions that the fifty dollars you paid her was too much but I told him to shut up about it. I forgot that we took her to the cabin with us back in September. It was nerve wracking though; I kept worrying that we'd lose her and I wasn't sure I could handle your devastation."

"Scarlett's an indoor cat and she knows who she belongs too; she has no desire to run away."

Jim nodded. "I guess not when she's spoiled rotten and thinks you're her mommy."

She smirked at him. "Katie makes that mommy crack every once in awhile."

He chuckled. "Well sweetheart, some jealousy is to be expected. She was an only child for a long time; she didn't want a little sister. She doesn't want to share her mommy; not even with a cat."

"Please," she scoffed.

"It's true…that's why she gets a little fussy about the time you spend with Gabby."

"Katie gets fussy because she has some of your mother's gene pool floating around in her body," Johanna remarked. "But anyway, getting back on track; we can take Scarlett with us for a trip to the cabin. She doesn't mind being in her carrier for that long."

Jim sighed. "Jo…"

"Please, honey," she pleaded softly. "It's just going to be us anyway so why not have a little romantic getaway? Think about it; you and I, nice and cozy by the fire…no interruptions; no holiday chaos. Doesn't it sound nice?"

"It's always nice to be with you, sweetheart but I thought you wanted a tropical getaway?"

"I would love that," she smiled. "I'd just have to get someone to take care of Scarlett since Andrew and Gabby will be away…maybe Angie could do it; I know Bella would be thrilled to have a kitten to play with for a few days."

"Don't go running for the phone," her husband told her. "We're not going anywhere tropical."

Johanna glared at him. "Then why bring it up?"

He shrugged. "Just making conversation."

She sighed deeply. "I'd really be happy to go to the cabin with you. It's not really a big deal is it? Frankie and Val are going away. Jeff and Maggie are going away…holiday vacations are pretty normal these days; so why can't we have one?"

He contemplated that statement for a moment as he chewed a bite of his dinner. "I guess it's different because it feels like you want to run and hide from something."

"Like what?"

"Like Christmas."

Johanna stabbed her fork into her potatoes. "Why is it okay for everyone else to back away from the holiday but it's not okay for me? It kind of feels like a double standard. Everyone else is free to feel a certain way about Christmas but I'm not allowed to feel the way I feel."

It was hard to argue that point with her in some ways, Jim thought to himself but it wasn't like he was forcing her to celebrate. "I didn't say you had to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't want to do a lot shopping, give the gift cards like you said you would. If you don't want to decorate; you don't have to decorate. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

As if someone disagreed with that statement, cold air whipped through the room, the basement door creaking open and slamming shut, making Johanna jump; her fork clattering to her plate.

Jim sighed and decided that he may as well address the elephant in the room. "I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that we have company tonight."

She nodded. "It does seem that way. Maybe if we ignore her she'll stop."

"We can hope," he replied. "I'm serious though; you don't have to do anything you don't want. There's no need to go all out like you used to."

The TV on the counter abruptly flipped switched to a certain channel known for its months long Christmas movie marathon. Johanna groaned at the sound of the cheesy dialogue and the sound of bad acting that poured from the television. "I can't stand these movies," she declared as she got up to flip the channel back to a courtroom show. "They're so sickening sweet that I'm afraid my teeth will rot before the first commercial break…and they're all the same."

"They are redundant and nauseating," her husband agreed.

"That's the truth; but Jim…why can't we go to the cabin? If you don't want to go there, what do you want to do for the holiday?"

"I just want to be with you," he answered. "You're all I need."

She smiled. "You're all I need too…and we can be together at the cabin."

"What do you want for Christmas, Jo?" he asked; hoping to change the subject as the lights flickered again.

"A nice vacation with my husband at our mountain home," she answered. "The atmosphere is peaceful; the snow will be clean and pretty. We can be snug and warm in front of the fire. The cell phone reception is spotty so there's no chance of unwanted phone calls unless they call the land line and that seems mostly unlikely. A romantic getaway with my husband is the perfect gift and a nice way to warm up the cold month of December."

Jim met her eye. "If you want to run away from bad memories; which is what you mentioned when you first brought this up yesterday; shouldn't you want to avoid the cabin too? We went there last year after Christmas…and it was anything but romantic."

"That's because we didn't necessarily go by choice…or at least I didn't; I'm pretty sure you didn't give me a choice in the matter," Johanna remarked. "We were hiding from the media…getting away from Katie…and trying to keep our relationship from imploding."

He nodded. "All of which are bad memories."

"We've been back to the cabin twice since then," she replied. "So why does it matter?"

"Why does it matter so much for you to go there?" he asked.

"Because it does. I already explained that to you."

"Yeah; you told me you didn't want to be here thinking about bad memories from last year…but I think I need a better reason, Johanna."

A soft breath crossed her lips; sadness sweeping across her features as she laid down her fork. "I do want to escape the bad memories of last year…but I'm also trying to find a way that works for us to have our own tradition. The last time that we had a happy Christmas together was in 1998…Katie had just turned 19; it was still our job to give her a nice holiday and we did; just like we had been doing all of her life. But she's grown now…she has her…well; she has her own family in a manner of speaking. She has her fiancé and her future stepdaughter and mother-in-law. Her holidays are with them and that's okay…she's grown; she doesn't need us anymore, not to give her holidays or anything really. Our parents are gone," she said, swallowing hard as she said the words although they had both been without their parents for a long time. "Our siblings have grown children; with the exception of Andrew who still has a child at home; the others have grandchildren and we can't really be a part of their holidays because that would be intruding on their special family time and their memories. Our friends are the same way; they have grown children and some of them have grandchildren. Some friends, like Zach, still have young children of their own at home. Our child is grown and we don't have grandchildren. We don't have parents to take care of; our siblings are happily occupied with their own families…so you see, it's really just us now. I know that all those years when I had to be away that you went to the cabin and spent Christmas alone…and it kills me inside to know that, Jim…I can never apologize enough for what happened to us and how we were forced to spend those years. All those years I was away…I spent Christmas alone too…we both have bad memories of those years. We have bad memories of our first Christmas back together. All of our best Christmases are behind us; they're in the past, and I'm okay with moving on from that. We don't need all the hoopla. But we do need our own tradition; a very low key way as that's what you prefer and because I no longer have any desire to be bothered with it. So I thought; why not just go to the cabin; just you and me…and Scarlett of course; we can just get away from the city and unwind. No expectations; no chaos, just peace and quiet; and you and me…and our cat. It can be our thing instead of just yours…and with me there; it won't exactly be like your tradition; and with you there; it won't exactly be like the tradition I had in Wyoming. I'm just trying to find something that we can have for us during this season that neither one of us is overly thrilled about. Is that so bad?"

He softened a bit at the explanation. "No," he said quietly. "It's not a bad thing."

"I admit that a part of me wants to run away from it…but I want to take you with me, so it isn't like I'm running from anything important. You're the most important thing to me…you know that, right?"

"Of course I do, sweetheart…and you're the most important thing to me."

"Then can't we go to the mountains?" she asked softly. "Start our own tradition; the new tradition for this stage of our lives where it's just the two of us because the nest is completely empty and holidays seem to drive home that point in painful ways."

She made good points, Jim thought to himself…it was just the two of them now; he wasn't foolish enough to really believe that Katie would come around for the holiday and he supposed that would be painful for Johanna. He was used to it; they hadn't spent Christmas together since the last one they had shared with Johanna before she had to leave. Oh he had asked Katie to go up to the cabin with him every so often as he made the effort to be the type of father Johanna would've wanted him to be; but his daughter always declined…and while it stung sometimes, he understood and respected her wishes. It wasn't that easy for his wife though; it was harder for mothers…especially when she never felt completely stable in her relationship with Katie.

"Jim?" his wife said softly.

He reached for her hand, his fingers curling around hers gently. "The best answer I can give you for now is that I'll think about it, sweetheart…is that okay?"

"It's not an outright no?" Johanna asked.

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "I will give it some serious thought…if we go, I'll have to take some work with me."

"That's alright," she replied. "I can help you; that is if you have anything else for me after I finish the file you already gave me."

"Jo; there's going to be plenty if you want it. If I decide we should go; we'll go up on the 20th."

A smile touched Johanna's lips, a feeling of having succeeded in swaying him sweeping over her but before she could utter a hint of a thank you, an anguished cry sounded loudly, making them both jump. "What the hell was that?" Johanna exclaimed.

"It sounded like someone screaming," Jim replied as he got up from the table and moved to the door; pulling the curtain back to look outside. "There's no one out back."

"It wasn't Scarlett, was it?" she asked; worry filling her. "You don't she think she's hurt herself, do you?"

"Where is she?"

"She was asleep on her little bed in the living room," Johanna replied as she hurriedly got up from her chair and headed for the living room. "Scarlett," she called out as she went.

Jim followed behind her, taking note of the flickering lights and the shiver that slid down his spine. They moved into the living room and Johanna made a beeline for the corner of the room that they had designated as Scarlett's. The little grey and white cat was still lying on her small bed, her sleepy eyes flicking open as she heard the approach of her owner. Johanna knelt down and petted her gently. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

Scarlett meowed softly and stretched before shifting and settling back down to continue her nap. "I believe she's fine," Jim declared; listening to the cat's purr as Johanna continued to pet her.

She agreed with that assessment, giving her cat one more pat before getting back on her feet. Why did she have a feeling that the anguished cry she had heard had came from her nosy ghost of a grandmother? The lights dimmed…was that an admission of guilt?

"Come on, let's go finish dinner," Jim said as he took her hand. "Whatever it was, I'm sure it can't hurt us and hopefully it's gone now."

She nodded; but she had a feeling if it was Sarah that they hadn't heard the last of her.

* * *

"Where the hell is my phone?" Jim asked later that evening after dinner had been finished and Johanna was busy with the dishes.

"It was there on the counter," she replied, nodding at the area of the counter nearest the door. "You laid it down with your keys."

"I know but it's not there now," he remarked. "The keys are there but the phone is gone."

Johanna glanced at the counter and frowned. "I could've sworn it was there…you didn't pick it up with your briefcase and take it in the office, did you?"

"No; I haven't touched it since I got home!" he exclaimed in exasperation.

His wife sighed and reached for the towel to dry her hands. "Well then we'll search the kitchen," she said as she began scanning the floor for his phone. "Check your coat pockets.

"It's not in my coat!"

"Check it anyway," she retorted. "You wouldn't believe the things I've found in your pockets and Katie's over the years."

Jim rolled his eyes but moved to the chair where he had tossed his coat when he got home. His pockets yielded receipts and change but no phone. The pockets of his suit jacket were empty, as were his pants pockets. "It's not in any of my pockets," he declared triumphantly.

"It hasn't fallen into any of the drawers either," Johanna replied.

"You don't think it fell in the garbage do you?"

"I don't know," she replied; "But if it did; you're the one digging for it, it's your phone."

"Thanks a lot," he said, giving her an exaggerated glare.

She laughed. "You'd say the same thing to me if it was the other way around."

"You're probably right," Jim admitted grudgingly.

Johanna smiled and waved a hand at the garbage can. "Go ahead, honey; search it."

"You're taking a little too much glee in the thought of me digging in garbage."

She shrugged; an amused smirk clinging to her lips. "It's the little things that make a person's whole day."

"Uh huh," he said as he carefully dug through the trash in search of his phone.

The lights dimmed for a second and Johanna glanced upwards, wondering how long Sarah was going to keep up her antics. She knew that her grandmother wasn't happy with her attitude regarding the holidays but she didn't really think it was any of her business. At that thought, the dishes she had sitting in the drainer fell over with a clatter. "Damn you, Sarah," she thought to herself. "If you break my dishes you're going to get another attitude from me that you're not going to like."

The lights flickered wildly as Jim abandoned his search of the trash can. "It's not in there," he stated as he moved to the sink to wash his hands.

"Try the living room."

"I haven't been in the living room!"

"Then we'll search the office," Johanna remarked. "I know you've been in there since you've been home."

"Fine," he huffed; although he had already checked his desk but he knew that Johanna would claim it wasn't really lost until they had searched everywhere.

They both searched his side of the office and then Johanna drifted off to search her side although the both knew it was a lost cause as their guest continued to make her presence known…and speaking of their ghostly guest, a thought came to mind that he couldn't dismiss as he raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. He released an aggravated breath and eyed his wife. "I want to ask you a question and I don't want you to think I'm crazy."

"I can save you some time," Johanna said as she closed the drawer she had been looking in. "Yes; I believe Sarah is definitely around tonight and that she's having a temper tantrum."

"That wasn't my question but thank you for stating the obvious," he replied.

His wife smirked at him. "Then what was your question?"

"My question is, do you think our friendly and yet temperamental ghost would steal my phone?"

Johanna worried her bottom lip. "She does like phones…but I think the accusation of stealing might be a little harsh."

His brow rose. "Really?"

She shrugged. "Well it's not like she's a criminal who has been formally charged."

Jim nodded. "Do you want me to call Katie and have her come over and read her her rights…which didn't even exist when she made her grand exit?"

"Don't be ridiculous; you know we can't call Katie; if we told her that a ghost pops in here on occasion and that we've both seen her; she'll have us both committed before we can call a lawyer for ourselves. Thinking about her having that kind of power makes me wish we had another kid…one that could fight for some control over the situation if need be…you know what I mean?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "You're afraid Katie might have too much power over us if we should be temporarily incapacitated?"

"Yes," she answered; "Although in all honesty, I worry about that more in regard to myself. You; she'd have second thoughts about. She'd try to get you some help to avoid full commitment. Me; she'd slap in an institution and tell them to shock my brain or pull the plug or something."

"Katie wouldn't do that to you."

"Don't be so sure," she replied. "I've seen that look in her eyes…that look that says 'you better watch your step lady because you're not getting any younger and one day I can just put you away somewhere until its time to pull that cord'."

"Jo," he laughed; "You can't be serious. She'd never do that."

"I wish I could be as sure of that as you," she replied. "We really should've thought about this earlier in life…if we had pondered this in our late 30's, I would've demanded another child before it was too late so we'd have back up. Now we're in our 60s and I can no longer produce children."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Jim remarked. "I'm glad we don't have to worry about it…it makes certain aspects of life more fun," he said with a grin.

She blushed but rolled her eyes. "But still…I don't trust her not to commit me one day…which means we can never be in a position where both of us has to be put away somewhere…one of us always has to be of sound mind at all times...or better yet; we just have to stay as healthy as we are now and never let her know about this ghost thing."

"I think you've been thinking about this a little too much," her husband replied. "We're going to have to find you more hobbies."

"Yeah, well…" she trailed off; neglecting once more to mention that there was a letter in her desk drawer from Columbia University asking her to rejoin the teaching faculty. It had come as a surprise; she hadn't expected anyone to want her for any job in light of her infamy thanks to the Bracken mess that had derailed her life for far too long. She had taught at Columbia many times over the years; they liked asking alumni to fill certain positions and she had always enjoyed the work, the feeling of being back on the campus, of helping to mold young legal minds. If things were different…if that whole thing with Bracken had never happened; she was sure that she probably would've retired from the courtroom and took up a full time position at Columbia.

But Bracken had happened…and she was infamous…her picture still turned up in newspapers and magazines once in awhile. There were still those who wanted interviews although she was no longer being hounded like she had been. But she wasn't sure she could go back to work. The thought of a part time position interested her; she didn't feel inclined toward the full time one as she enjoyed being home and having the freedom to do what she wanted when she wanted; but she had been offered whichever position she wanted. But she didn't know if she could rejoin the work force. She'd had one brief moment earlier in the year when she had wrapped her hand around her career and reclaimed it for a moment…but that had been, well, that had been about unfinished business and she closed the book. She just didn't know if she could pick up her secondary career as a law professor. She liked being a housewife and she liked occasionally helping Jim with his work…but she had to give a decision before the spring semester started.

"Jo," Jim said; drawing her back out of her thoughts. "You just talked about how we had to stay healthy and then you seemed to go away."

She shook her head. "I was just trying to think up new hobbies like you suggested."

For a moment he regarded her with slight disbelief and seemed to be pondering digging deeper but then pushed the thought aside, clearly deciding that finding his missing phone was more important than what she had been contemplating for a few seconds. "Since you don't want your ghostly ancestor unfairly accused without being formally charged; do you think she might have taken my phone?"

Johanna sighed. "Yes; I do believe that could be possible. She does like phones."

"Why does she have to like mine so much!" he exclaimed. "Why is it always my phone?! Why must she go from the type of spirit who is friendly and not bothersome to a full on menace?"

"Well, honey; she just wants to be modern like everyone else. She didn't have a smartphone in her day; she's curious. Hell she didn't even had a cordless phone in her day. She just wants to be like us so she borrowed the phone; she plays with mine too."

"But she didn't steal yours!?"

"Well maybe she borrowed yours because you offended her somehow!"

"Oh; you're going to call it borrowing?" he stated. "Is that what it is?"

"In my opinion yes; she's just trying to be like us. She's just being modern."

"She can't be modern!" he exclaimed. "You do realize that don't you? If she was able to be modern, she could get a new dress instead of stealing a phone."

"Borrowed," Johanna reiterated; "And I'm sure Sarah would like a new dress; she has been wearing that one for an awfully long time. She must be sick of it by now."

All of the books on one side of the book case crashed to the floor.

"Or I could be wrong," Johanna amended. "She might not be sick of that dress at all."

He sighed loudly. "Make her give me back my phone and then tell her to knock off this nonsense of hers."

The files Jim had sat on his desk tumbled to the floor. "I don't think she likes your attitude," his wife stated.

"Mine? What about yours? I have a feeling you're not innocent in whatever the issue is here. Have you seen her?" he asked; not wanting to confess to his own sighting of Sarah just yet. "Has she popped in in person like she does once in awhile?"

Johanna shifted on her feet. "I always feel crazy when I have to answer that question."

"You're not crazy; we've both seen her, we both know her antics; and if we both know it and see it, then what does that mean?" he asked.

"It means we're perfectly sane…or both crazy."

"Well if it's the latter, take comfort in the fact that we're good at hiding it," Jim replied. "Now tell me, has Sarah been by to visit."

"Yeah," she admitted with a soft sigh. "She stopped in this morning."

"And was this a social call or does she have a purpose again?"

"She thinks she has a purpose; I think she's just nosy."

"Uh huh; anything you feel inclined to discuss at the moment?"

"Not really," Johanna replied. "It isn't anything important; Sarah's just your typical busybody grandmother."

The sound of silverware clattering to the floor in the kitchen echoed through the house. "You might want to choose different words," Jim suggested. "After you do that; tell her to give me back my phone."

"It's cute how you think I can control her."

"Well do something!" he said sharply.

She sighed. "Sarah, if you have Jim's phone, give it back now."

The lights flickered once more, the radio they kept in the office turned on, the volume sky high making them both flinch.

"That's enough!" Johanna yelled. "Give back the phone and go home, Sarah!"

Suddenly an angry sounding melody poured from the piano, the keys clearly being pressed but no visible being was seated on the bench.

"That's a little creepy," Jim commented.

"Really?" she asked. "That's the thing that creeps you out about all of this?"

He nodded. "Yeah; you should go close the lid on the keys."

Her eyes widened. "I'm not closing the lid; you close it."

"I'm not closing it…it's your piano…it's your disgruntled relative that you claim you aren't afraid of."

"I'm not afraid of her," she retorted. "You're afraid of her."

Dismay colored his features. "I'm not afraid of a ghost!" he declared.

"Then close the lid."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because you're the man!" his wife stated. "It is an immutable law of the universe that the man takes care of these issues."

"What issues?" he asked.

"You know what issues; you are the man of the house; you fix the things that break; you kill the bugs and anything else that needs killed, and you chase the ghosts."

"So this falls under the same category of killing the spiders that you always seem to stumble across."

"Yes," Johanna said with a nod. "You kill the spiders. You chase the ghosts. You're the man, this is your job."

"That seems kind of sexist coming from a woman who I thought believed in women's rights."

"I do believe in women's rights…but I never went to bra burning extremes. I always wear my bra," she stated.

He grinned. "I know; I've removed many of them for you."

She smirked. "Sometimes without my notice."

"I'm just that damn good," Jim said as he moved closer to her.

A coy grin touched her lips. "Yeah; you are."

His hands slipped around her waist, tugging her closer so that he could capture her lips in a kiss. The sounds of hands smacking the piano keys sent a shrill note through the air, pulling them from their kiss. "Apparently we're neglecting our houseguest," Johanna remarked.

"She's kind of fussy tonight…and I still don't have my phone."

She sighed. "Sarah; please knock off this tantrum and give back the phone. You can come around tomorrow and discuss what's on your mind; alright?"

Scarlett meowed pitifully from the living room and Johanna could picture her kitten cowering in a corner somewhere, fearful of Sarah's temper tantrum. "Please stop tormenting my cat," she added to her demands. "She's just a baby."

"She's almost a year old," Jim remarked.

"So she's still a baby," his wife said firmly. "Maybe Sarah's waiting on you to apologize before she settles down. Maybe she didn't like that crack about her dress and how she can't be modern."

"My apologies, Sarah," he stated. "Now behave."

The house began to settle; the lights remaining on and steady; the music ceasing and the air turning warmer. "I think she's done now," she stated after a moment passed without further chaos.

"Yeah; but where's my phone?" her husband asked.

Before Johanna could answer, the sound of Jim's phone ringing could be heard from the kitchen. He looked at his wife. "We searched the kitchen…it wasn't there."

"I know…but clearly it is now…go look."

Jim turned and left the room and Johanna moved to the pile of books on the floor and began to put them back on the shelves, muttering about ghosts who couldn't control their tempers or mind their own business.

"How the hell did Candy Crush get on my phone?" Jim asked as he came back into the office; his phone in hand.

The books she had picked up slipped from her fingers and clattered back to the floor. "What?" she asked; trying to hide how the fact that the statement had flustered her.

"Candy Crush," he said; turning the phone so she could see the game that was open on his phone; a band across the screen proclaiming that the player was out of moves.

Johanna closed her eyes; "Damn you, Sarah," she muttered.

Jim eyed her. "Do you want to tell me how a ghost would know how to download an app?"

She shrugged. "I come from a long line of intelligent women; I'm sure it wasn't hard for her to figure it out."

"Especially if she has a granddaughter who maybe showed her how it worked…and then taught her how to play Candy Crush?" he accused.

Johanna eyed him. "What do you know about it? Have you seen Sarah? Has she been talking to you!?"

"Why do you say it with that tone of voice?" he asked. "It sounds like you're accusing me of adultery…and I am not the kind of husband that would be out picking up your grandmother."

"Ha ha, funny man," she replied. "Now let's start talking; when did you see Sarah?"

"So just for the record, you're admitting that you taught her how to play Candy Crush?"

"Yes, I did!"

"Why?"

"Because she wanted to know; I told you; she wants to be modern; not stop stalling."

Jim huffed in annoyance. "She popped into my car today as I was coming home. She wanted to play with my phone and she asked if I had that game. I told her no and that she couldn't play with my phone."

"Well now you know why she took it," she replied. "What else did you discuss?"

"Nothing."

"Liar," she stated. "You do realize that I know when you're lying to me, don't you?"

"You've always claimed that."

"And I'm always right," Johanna stated. "What did she say about me?"

"That she loves you and thinks you did a great job at picking a husband."

She put her hand on her hip. "You're still lying."

He sighed. "Okay; she called me a sap…and I'm still not entirely sure what that means in her lingo."

Johanna laughed. "What did you do that made her call you that?"

"I'm not sure; she seems easily offended."

"What else did you discuss?"

"Oh she was just muttering stuff about Christmas," he replied as he shifted on his feet; waiting for the ghost to retaliate for tattling on her.

Johanna frowned. "I think we've had enough of that topic so I'm just going to let that go."

"Sounds good to me; thanks for getting my phone back," he replied; just as anxious as she was to end that conversation.

She smiled; giving him a sassy wink. "You owe me one."

He slipped his phone into his pocket for safe keeping and moved across the room to slip his arms around her waist. "Anything your heart desires, sweetheart," he murmured warmly before capturing her lips in a kiss.

Her gaze was warm and playful as her fingertips grazed the line of his jaw. "Maybe we'll discuss that later…upstairs."

"That sounds like a good idea," he remarked. "I'm always interested in hearing your every desire."

She grinned, her fingers cupping his chin, beckoning him to lower his head for another kiss. Just as their lips met, the lights went out and then flashed back on, the sound of Scarlett's perturbed meow echoing through the house. Johanna sighed. "But of course, if our guest is still lingering; we're going to have to put that discussion of desires on hold…I can't fully engage in that discussion unless I know we're free of unwanted interruptions."

Jim nodded. "She really knows how to kill a mood."

"Yeah," Johanna sighed. "Family's good for that."

He smiled and gave her a soft pat. "Well, we'll hope she gets tired soon and goes on her way…and then we can think about picking up that discussion…until then; you better go check on the cat and make sure your grandmother hasn't decided to borrow her."

"She better leave my cat alone," Johanna declared as she moved away from her husband and headed for the door.

"It would be nice if she'd leave your husband alone too," Jim declared.

She gave a nod. "You're right; she needs to leave my husband and my cat alone…and me too if she's not going to be nice."

The dishes clattered in the kitchen once more and Jim smiled. "You might not want to say that too loudly."

"Apparently I shouldn't say a lot of things too loudly," Johanna remarked as she left the room and went in search of her cat. Why did Sarah have to take up this thing about Christmas as some sort of mission? Couldn't she have just stopped by for a short little visit that served no purpose?

As she moved into the living room, she spied Scarlett hiding beneath the coffee table and she stooped down and scooped her up, hugging her close for a moment. "Maybe if we go to the cabin for the holiday we can get away from our little friend that scares you," she murmured to the cat.

A book on the bookcase fell off the shelf and hit the floor. Johanna rolled her eyes. "Get a sense of humor, Sarah."

Another book slid from the shelf and somehow flung itself toward her. She stepped backwards, avoiding being hit as Sarah appeared in the room. "This isn't over, Johanna," her grandmother proclaimed.

"You can't make me do something I don't want," she hissed in reply.

"You see that's the problem; you tell yourself you don't want it but we both know deep down that you do…just like that job you got offered; you want it but you keep telling yourself that you don't. You think you've shaken off the past but I see areas where you haven't and it's time to start climbing those walls."

"I've climbed enough walls! I'm happy, Sarah; I'm in a much better place than I was last year when you first started popping in."

"That's true," the spirit replied. "But there's room for improvement…for all of you…and Christmas is a good place to start phase two."

"I've got a phase for you," Johanna declared; "It's called mind your own business."

"I'm afraid I've never been any good at that," Sarah retorted; her chin jutting up a notch. "That's why you have the right to vote; because some of us women couldn't keep our mouths shut and mind our business. I was out there in the street helping to win that right for you, young lady!"

"And I appreciate it," Johanna replied; "I'm very proud of you for being a part of that movement…but I have other rights too and I think you're trying to impose your will on them."

"No; I'm simply doing what's best for my granddaughter."

She sighed. "I'm not discussing this any more tonight, Sarah. I love you; stop by when you've gotten this bee out of your bonnet."

Sarah eyed her. "I'm not as easy to brush off like your daughter is. She likes that behavior; I don't…it only makes me more determined."

"You won't win," Johanna stated firmly.

The spirit smiled. "We shall see, kitten; we shall see."

With a whoosh of cool air, Sarah was gone and Johanna was left alone with the trembling cat in her arms that she cuddled close to her chest. "Don't pay her any mind, Scarlett."

" _You_ better pay me some mind," Sarah's voice whispered although she remained unseen.

She shivered and carried Scarlett toward the office. Maybe she'd just stick close to Jim for awhile; the dishes could dry on their own.

* * *

Later that night, Jim laid in bed and flipped channels while Johanna was taking her bath. The house had seemed settled for the last few hours, the lights steady; the rooms warm and comfortable…no more anguished cries or slamming doors. He checked the nightstand to be sure that his phone was still lying there and seeing that it was, he felt safe in assuming that Sarah's tantrum was over and that she had wandered off to some other place to do her haunting. He relaxed for a brief second before hearing a scratch at the door followed by a soft meow.

He stifled a groan and laid aside the remote as he tossed back the covers and got up. That cat always waited until someone was in bed before changing her mind about her sleeping arrangements, he thought to himself as he went to the door and opened it, allowing Scarlett to slip inside. "Did you decide to sleep up here tonight?" he asked as the cat rubbed against his ankle for a moment before heading for Johanna's side of the bed.

"Your mommy's taking a bath," Jim told her. "Besides; you know the rules; she's only allowed to cuddle me in this room. You sleep on the floor or in the chair."

The cat moved away from the bed; crossing the floor to the chair and sitting down in front of it. Jim had to give Johanna credit; she had trained Scarlett to wait until the furniture was covered with an old throw or piece of material to protect it from her claws. He moved across the room and grabbed the old grey throw that they had found in the back of the closet and covered the seat of the chair with it. "There you go, Scarlett," he told her. "You can get up there now."

Scarlett leapt up in the chair and settled down, purring softly as Jim petted her. He had picked the right cat for his wife, he mused as he headed back to bed. Scarlett was sweet, playful and affectionate…and more than willing to soak up all the love that Johanna could give her. He had definitely made a wise decision when he had decided to give her a kitten.

"It's too bad you don't make any other good decisions," Sarah McKenzie declared as she appeared in the bedroom.

Jim flinched at the sudden sight of the ghost in the room. "I thought you said you were going to start announcing yourself?" he retorted.

"I guess I lied," she replied. "Oops."

Jim glared at her. "For the record, I don't appreciate having my phone stolen and things downloaded on it."

Sarah put her hands on her hips and looked him in the eye. "For the record; I don't like when people do things that I told them not to do."

"Meaning what?"

"You know what."

"I'm afraid I don't."

She smirked at him. "You basically told her that you'll take her away for Christmas! I told you that you were right not to do that and then you turn around and tell her you'll go!"

"I didn't say that; I said I'd think about it."

"Sure; that's why you went ahead and gave her a date too."

"I said I'd think about it," Jim reiterated. "She made a good case when I asked her to give me better reasons."

Sarah scoffed. "Sure she gave you a good case; she's a lawyer, she knows how to work a jury, you…you...,"

"You what?" he asked with a grin. "Go ahead; let it out."

"I was raised a lady; I'm not supposed to call you the names that come to mind."

"You called me a sap."

"That was different…I have a list of names that are worse."

"Okay; lay one on me," Jim said with a chuckle. "Let's have it."

"You big dummy," Sarah declared.

He laughed. "Is that the best you've got? I have to say, Sarah; I'm a bit disappointed. I guess Jo gets her rapid fire name calling from Naomi's side of the family."

"Well they're Italian, what do you expect?"

"You better watch it," he stated. "Jo will think you're maligning her heritage. She identifies more as Italian than Irish."

"I have nothing against Italians, I adore them…and clearly I have to remind my granddaughter that she is just as much Irish as she is Italian."

"You do that, I'm sure she'd enjoy it. She'll be walking in here any minute so you might want to be on your way."

"That's doubtful."

His brow rose. "Why?"

"Because she's going to be busy looking for something for a little while."

"Like what?"

"Her underwear," Sarah said without remorse. "I hid them so we could chat."

"You didn't!"

"Oh yes, I did; that will teach her to sink into that tub full of soap suds, close her eyes and not pay attention to her surroundings. It'll also teach her to say that I need to get a sense of humor."

Jim shook his head. "She's going to be mad."

"I'm not worried about her wrath."

"You probably should be; she's modest…she doesn't run around without her underwear…no matter how much you try to convince her."

"They sure have changed," Sarah remarked. "There's not much to them now…it's no wonder she gets cold."

"I don't think we should be discussing this," Jim declared; "But rest assured; I keep her warm."

The spirit smirked at him. "I have no doubt about that but we have more important and less private business to discuss. You can not back down from your stance on not going to the cabin."

He sighed in exasperation. "You said not to be so blasé about her feelings…I asked to hear her reasons; I listened and I understand them which is why I told her I'd give the matter further thought. I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of it."

"Because if you allow her to run away from Christmas now; she'll never stop."

"Its not exactly running though if the place she wants to go to is our home…and the cabin is our vacation home, so to speak."

Sarah sighed and squeezed her forehead. "My goodness you're both infuriating. She needs to stay here and face it; she needs to push past this barrier like she has so many others."

"Maybe she's pushed past enough barriers the past year," Jim suggested. "Maybe she needs a break. This is a relatively small issue and really it isn't a big deal. A lot of people don't celebrate the holidays."

"That doesn't mean that Johanna should become one of them. Don't you want this family to feel completely healed?"

"Yes but I don't see how a Christmas tree and some gifts are going to accomplish that. I don't see what the holidays have to do with anything, to tell you the truth."

"You don't seem to celebrate holidays as a reunited family should; that's what it has to do with. I told you before; it's a part of the healing process."

Jim sighed in disgust that he was being harassed by a ghost. "Didn't you listen to a word that Jo said tonight? We're on our own now. We celebrated Thanksgiving with a few relatives and we had a nice time. Katie was invited…she was even told that she could bring Rick, Alexis and Martha with her but they declined; they have their own traditions. The same invitation was extended last year and declined. It's not our fault if they don't want to come here or that Katie doesn't want to come without them just once."

"I didn't say it was your fault; but you were invited to their place."

"Yes we were," Jim remarked; "And we declined. I'm not giving up a holiday meal cooked by wife; especially when I had to go without it for so very long. I'm not giving up Johanna's Thanksgiving dinner for anything or anyone; not even Katie. If that makes me terrible so be it. She's got her stubborn ideas and so do I."

"And Johanna?"

"She wanted to have Thanksgiving here at home; she's alright with Katie not being here for that. She wanted her here for Christmas; I still remember that moment last year; right downstairs in the kitchen when Jo told Katie that there weren't any hard feelings if Katie chose to go to Rick's for Thanksgiving but that she was calling dibs on Christmas…but apparently Christmas was too much to ask for."

Apparently so…but could you put forth some effort to make this year better for Johanna without fleeing the city? You're not helping her by driving the getaway car. You could talk to Katie; maybe tell her that it means something to both of you to see her for a little while on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day."

"It's a lost cause, Sarah; let it go. I made my peace with Katie's attitude about holidays long ago. I'm afraid Jo's going to have to do the same. This whole thing is Katie's fault anyway; why don't you go brow beat her? If it hadn't been for her, we probably wouldn't even need to have this conversation."

Sarah nodded. "She's on my list."

Jim's brow rose. "What list? What are going to do to her…is there any chance I can get pictures of whatever it is?"

The spirit's eyes sparkled in amusement. "I'm afraid I can't answer any of those questions."

"I think you're just a tease like your granddaughter."

"Perhaps; perhaps not."

He sighed. "Are we done now?"

"No; I still expect you to help me create better holiday memories for Johanna."

"Then I'm taking her to the cabin."

Anger flashed across Sarah's face. "No you're not!" she roared; the room turning cold; the channels on the television flipping without assistance from the remote. Scarlett meowed and jumped down from the chair, racing across the room and jumping up on the bed to huddle close to Jim's side.

"That's enough of your tantrum, Sarah," Jim said firmly. "We'll do what we damn well please whether you like it or not."

'This isn't over," she declared for the second time that night before she disappeared in a flash of light.

Jim shook his head and picked up the cat that was hiding next to him. "Scarlett; you're not living up to your namesake. Scarlett O'Hara fled the burning of Atlanta and shot a Yankee without even flinching…and you're scared of a little ghost."

The cat meowed softly as it looked at him. He smiled. "Oh it's alright; you'll grow into your bravery when you get a little bigger. Don't worry; you're safe."

* * *

A few minutes later, Johanna entered the bedroom, annoyance on her face as she marched toward Jim's side of the bed. "Did you sneak in the bathroom?"

"No," he replied; his gaze flicking away from the television to look at her.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes; why?"

"Because I got out of my bath and someone had hidden my underwear in the back of the linen closet."

"It wasn't me," Jim said sincerely; trying to act surprised. "I've been in here consoling your cat because apparently our house guest isn't finished with her tantrum…I swear, she's worse than a toddler when she gets a burr up her ass. If you're looking to blame someone, I'd look at her."

Johanna pondered that for a moment and then nodded. "You've got a point…and she's already demonstrated her skills tonight when she swiped your phone."

"Exactly," he said; glancing to the nightstand for the hundredth time to make sure his phone was still there.

"It seems like Sarah is going to be an intrusive guest this time."

"Yeah…does that mean that discussion about desires is still on hold?"

She smiled; her fingers reaching out to skim his face. "I'm afraid so; but just let me say that the sight of you protecting my cat is very sexy indeed."

Jim smirked at her. "Is that sarcasm?"

"No! It was complete honesty! I think it's sweet that you take care of her when I'm not in the room."

"You might be less inclined to take care of me if I didn't."

Johanna rolled her eyes and flicked his ear lightly. "I might be."

"Here," he said with a chuckle as he picked up the sleepy cat and handed it to her. "Put her back on the chair; she's not sleeping in bed with us."

Johanna settled Scarlett back on her blanket on the chair and then she shed her robe and dropped it at the foot of the bed before climbing in on her side. She leaned over and kissed Jim goodnight and then settled down beside him; abandoning the idea of reading as she knew Sarah's visits would keep her from being able to concentrate.

"Jo," Jim said quietly.

"What?"

"What's Sarah's purpose for her visit this time?"

She sighed. "I told you; she's just being nosy."

"About what?"

"She doesn't like my holiday plans which aren't any of her business anyway."

"Well don't worry; maybe she'll get bored with that idea and go haunt someone else's house."

"We can hope," she replied.

"Jo?"

"Hmm?"

Jim hesitated for a moment, feeling like he was doing Sarah's bidding but it felt like a viable question that he wanted answered so he decided to push forward. "Are you going to make the peppermint cake this month?"

She kept her gaze on the TV. "I wasn't planning on it."

He frowned; his hand sliding across her waist as he turned onto his side to face her. "But you promised," he murmured. "Don't you remember; you promised to make that cake for me every year?"

"I remember," she whispered; "But I broke that promise long ago."

"That wasn't your fault though; you had to be away for awhile…if that hadn't happened; you would've been here and you would've made it…you made it last year and it was so good to have that cake again."

"I know."

He brushed a kiss against her shoulder. "Do you remember how many cakes it took to get the right recipe?"

"It was about seven or eight," she replied; a soft smile touching her lips at the memory.

"We had fun though; didn't we?"

"Yeah, we did," she murmured; "Although you took some convincing."

He grinned; his hand curling around her hip. "But you did convince me…and I'm glad. That Christmas was special; we were engaged…we created that cake and I went to midnight mass with you and your mother and grandmother…which outraged my mother…which was like a bonus gift for me."

Johanna laughed. "I remember."

"So you'll make the cake for me…you know; since you promised that you'd make it every year? I let you off the hook for the time you were away; now you're home and you need to stay on the job, sweetheart."

She sighed but there was a teasing glint in her eyes. "I'll give it some thought…but if we go to the cabin; I can guarantee that I'll buy the supplies and bake it there."

Jim kissed her. "You sure do like to drive hard bargains…I told you I'd think about it."

"I'm just sweetening the deal, honey."

"You're still a tough negotiator."

"Mhmm; you know you want to go to the cabin…you can have me all to yourself and we can eat cake."

"You and cake," he repeated. "It is very tempting…what will you be wearing while we're eating this cake?"

Johanna smirked at him. "Really?"

"What? I have to know just how sweet this deal is."

"Some things a man has to find out for himself," she quipped.

"I'm definitely giving the matter serious thought."

"You do that…and I'll decide what I want to pack besides my red silk nightgown…you know; the one you like so much."

"I don't think you play all that fair, Johanna; but you're damn good at the game."

"I know, darling; I have to be to keep up with you…you're a pretty smooth talker when the mood strikes."

Jim grinned at her. "You know, the house seems quiet and settled again…"

"Forget it," she replied. "I don't trust Sarah not to come back although she's assured me that she doesn't pry into that part of my life…but still…"

"Right," Jim said with a nod. "It's better to wait for when she doesn't seem to have an axe to grind."

"Maybe tomorrow," Johanna said with a smile as she kissed him once more before turning out the light. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too," she said softly as she snuggled against him.

* * *

Later that night, Johanna tossed and turned; her dreams a twist of memories and an odd mixture of relatives sweeping through, murmuring words that she couldn't quite decipher. A flash of light hitting her eyelids made her open her tired eyes and she was greeted by the sight of Naomi McKenzie standing in the room.

"Johanna Elizabeth," her mother tsked with a shake of her head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Mama?" she murmured.

"Just when I think you might be on the straight and narrow; you veer of track," the spirit remarked.

Her mind was still sleepy and hazy. "Mama," she said again. "What are you doing here?"

Naomi smiled; shaking her head once more as she gently rubbed her fingertips across Scarlett's head as she laid in the chair. "What am I going to do with you, Bambina?"

Her mother disappeared and she called out to her, gasping as she felt someone shaking her, her eyes opening widely as she jolted upright.

"Jo," Jim said, his hands gentle but firm as they remained wrapped around her arms.

"Where is she?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Mama," she said; her voice gritty with sleep. "She was here."

"No, sweetheart; you were dreaming," he replied; "That's why I woke you; you were restless; you kept calling for her."

"She was here," Johanna insisted tearfully. "She was petting Scarlett."

"Honey; Scarlett's asleep; look; she's still in the chair…if someone was petting her that wasn't you or me, she'd be awake."

Johanna glanced at the chair but Scarlett wasn't asleep; her green eyes were open and looking back at her. The cat meowed softly and hopped down from the chair, running to the side of the bed and jumping up to curl up beside Johanna as if she knew she was needed…as if she was telling her that she hadn't imagined the presence of Naomi McKenzie. Scarlett knew…Scarlett had seen her too. She laid back down, her heart settling back to its normal rate as Jim pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, murmuring soft words of comfort in her ear as Scarlett nuzzled her side with a purr.

A shuddering breath wracked her frame as her hand moved over the cat for a moment before she turned and melted into her husband's side. "It's alright," he said quietly.

"Can Scarlett stay up here this once?" she whispered as the cat moved to the bottom of the bed and curled up by her feet.

"Yeah; sweetheart; Scarlett can sleep there if she wants. Go back to sleep; it's alright…no more ghosts tonight; I'll keep them away."

Johanna breathed deeply and held on to him a little tighter. She wished her husband could master that skill of keeping ghosts at bay; she might sleep a little easier if he did.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews!_

Chapter 5- Accepting the Challenge

Johanna was tired the next morning as she put away the breakfast dishes. She had a feeling that the tiredness must've been easily seen on her face because Jim had told her to go back to bed when he kissed her before leaving for work. Normally she would've gone back upstairs to catch another hour or two of sleep after a restless night but not today. She hadn't slept more than a few minutes here and there all night ever since that dream of her mother and the hodgepodge of other dreams that she couldn't make sense of no matter how hard she tried to piece it together. She stifled a yawn as she hung up the dish towel; feeling convinced that Naomi McKenzie would make an appearance that day. She didn't know if she should anticipate it or dread it…and yet no matter how the visit might go; she couldn't help but yearn for it…the chance to speak to her mother and have an actual response wasn't one that came around often.

With the thought of an impending visitation in mind, Johanna made sure she hadn't left any dishes in the sink and then cast a glance at Scarlett who was playing with one of her cat toys under the table. She smiled; her heart still incredibly grateful that her husband had brought that kitten home from the shelter for her. Scarlett never shunned affection and she didn't seem to mind listening to her ramble when Jim wasn't there. Seeing that her cat was occupied and unworried about ghostly visitors, she headed for the office to do some work for Jim.

She settled down at her desk and noticed that her paperweight was moved; a reminder that Sarah had been there at some point in the morning. A sigh crossed her lips as she moved it back to its correct place, grateful that her grandmother wasn't carrying her tantrum into a second day. Johanna pulled her files forward and began to review the notes she had made the day before.

An hour later she was engrossed in her work; the sound of Scarlett's paws and clatter of her toy on the kitchen floor serving as barely noticeable background noise but soon she began to shiver and the chill racing through her pulled her attention from her work and made her realize that the room was colder than it had been when she first settled down to her work. She knew what it meant; a visitor was imminent and butterflies fluttered wildly in her stomach. Her gaze darted toward the piano, waiting on her mother to appear there on the bench as she had the year before when she had 'visited'. She waited with bated breath; hungry for the sight of her mother; aching for the sound of her voice which had been so clear the night before.

"Waiting on someone?" a voice asked.

Johanna's head jerked in the direction of the doorway; finding the familiar figure of Sarah as she moved into the room. "Sarah," she murmured; disappointment filling her heart.

"Don't look so disappointed," her grandmother chastened as she pulled the piano bench over to the desk and sat down.

"Oh, I'm never disappointed to see you, Sarah."

The spirit eyed her astutely. "Don't lie; I'm not offended…I know you were expecting your mother."

Johanna's chin quivered with unexpected emotion; why had she been so convinced by a dream? Just because her mother had visited once before didn't mean that she would do so again outside the realm of dreams. She supposed it had been a feeling of desperation that fueled her conviction…she always missed Naomi so much at Christmas time…and truth be told; it had been hard for her to carry on Christmas traditions when she had passed.

"Oh, darling," Sarah said sympathetically. "I'm so sorry that Naomi couldn't join us today. She is always with you, you know that. You can always talk to her; she's listening whenever you need to chat."

"But she can't always answer," Johanna replied; her throat tight as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

"Maybe that's just what you think," Sarah replied. "Perhaps you miss subtle signs that are meant to be answers."

"I thought she was here last night," she murmured. "I thought I saw her in my bedroom; but it was just a dream."

Her grandmother shook her head. "No; she was there."

"Then why didn't she stay?" she asked; a tear slipping free and sliding down her cheek.

"Because she couldn't…you were agitated; you woke Jim."

"So? He sees you; why can't he see her? She's his mother-in-law; he loved her...he'd want her to stay if she wanted to visit me."

"Some visits must be private," Sarah explained. "It's completely fine that he knows of the visits; but he can't be an active participant in some of them."

"Will she come back?"

"I can't tell you that."

Frustration thrummed in her veins. "I hate when you say that!"

"Yes, I know…may I play the candy game on your telephone?" Sarah asked.

"No, you may not," Johanna retorted. "Not after the way you behaved last night. Do you want to tell me what all of that was about?"

"Oh you know what it was about," her grandmother stated.

"Mhmm," she muttered as she swiped at the moisture on her cheek. "Did you enjoy having a phone for awhile last night? You know since you took it upon yourself to steal Jim's?"

"Borrowed," Sarah clarified. "I borrowed it…and yes, I quite enjoyed it."

"He wasn't amused to find that game downloaded on his phone…how did you manage that?"

"It wasn't easy," the spirit remarked. "I had to keep touching that screen and I couldn't find the game…but finally I touched enough buttons to open up some kind of thing where lots of games were and I found the candy game and I touched it and it did something and then said I could play now…so I did!"

"Yes, I know; the game was still open on his phone when he retrieved it."

Sarah nodded. "It said I was out of lives…I wish they'd find better wording; it kind of felt like they were rubbing it in or something."

Johanna shook her head. "Jim was not happy at all with that stunt, Sarah."

The ghost shrugged. "I was not happy with his attitude earlier when I rode home with him."

"I see," she replied; "But for the record; I'd like to add that I also wasn't amused when I got out of my bath and discovered that my underwear was missing."

Sarah smirked at her. "You told me to get a sense of humor."

"I believe underwear hiding falls under the category of being a smart ass."

"Funny choice of words," Sarah quipped with a laugh.

Johanna rolled her eyes. "I take it you ate your Wheaties this morning."

"What are Wheaties?" she asked.

"Breakfast cereal."

"Oh," Sarah sighed. "I do miss being able to eat…I would love to have some Christmas cookies; I always loved Christmas cookies."

"Is there any way you can have a cookie?" Johanna asked. "Because if there is; I have a pack of Oreos in the kitchen."

"There's only one way…but I can't discuss that with you."

"Why not?"

"Ours is not to question why," Sarah replied.

Johanna sighed. "You're hitting all your favorites today, Sarah."

"It does seem that way, doesn't it?"

"Mhmm. That tantrum was a bit much last night; don't you think?"

"No; I enjoyed it."

"Of course you did, you're a McKenzie," Johanna replied as she leaned back in her chair.

Sarah winked at her. "That's right and let it not be forgotten."

"Oh it's not; trust me."

"Shall we get to our business?" the spirit asked.

"You mean the business that is none of your business?" Johanna asked.

Sarah eyed her sternly. "If you keep sassing me, young lady; you're going to get some business you don't like."

She sighed deeply and resigned herself to the coming lecture. "Alright; go ahead."

Sarah's gaze stayed pinned on her; never wavering for a second. "I hate to see you giving up on Christmas, Josie. It was always your favorite holiday."

"Things change," she murmured. "It isn't exactly a new feeling."

"No; but this time you're willing to make it a permanent feeling."

"So?"

"So; it's not a good thing," Sarah remarked. "I understand why you didn't celebrate in Wyoming and there's no need to speak of those painful holidays you endured…but there was a time before all of that when you didn't really have much Christmas spirit but you made yourself carry on…do you remember that?"

She shifted in her chair. "Yeah; I remember…it was the year Mom died…she died two months before Christmas."

"That's right…and you didn't want to have Christmas; you hurt too badly…but you had Christmas anyway; didn't you?"

"I didn't have a choice then."

"What makes you say that?" Sarah asked.

"Katie was still a kid; she was a fourteen, she had to have a Christmas…I couldn't let my grief take away her holiday."

"But it was difficult; wasn't it?"

"Yes; of course it was," she whispered; feeling that old ache spread through her.

"How did you get through it?"

"I don't know really…I guess because Jim was there doing his best to help me through it and Katie was trying to do that too in her own way; they knew I was floundering and they picked up the slack and helped me carry out everything that we always did for the holiday. It wasn't exactly a good Christmas for me; that big Naomi McKenzie sized hole in the world was too deeply felt for me to have much enjoyment but we got through it."

"What exactly did they do that helped nudge you along?" Sarah asked.

"Don't you know? You claim to always be around."

"I am around and I do know; but it doesn't hurt to refresh my memory; now does it?" the spirit asked.

"No, I suppose not. Jim just kind of took the reins for me; reminding me of things we needed to get done; trying to help me with the shopping so I could get it done a little faster. He rearranged the furniture and set the tree up for me and Katie to decorate without being asked. When I needed to cry; he held me; when I needed a break from Christmas shows and music and plans; he'd find some way to distract me. With Katie…she came into the kitchen one day and started getting out the stuff to make the Christmas cookies…she was going to do it herself and I had to just shake off how badly I didn't want to do and help her with the task. She didn't know what to do or say…she was at that age where things could be a little difficult between us at times as she settled into being a teenager…but she was there and she figured if she started the baking process, I'd join in."

"So you carried on even though it hurt," Sarah remarked.

"Yes; because I had a child who depended on me to give her a nice Christmas despite our loss."

"You still have a child."

"No; I have an adult daughter," Johanna replied; "She's grown; she has a family."

"Not in the technical sense of the word."

"She has a fiancé, a soon-to-be stepdaughter and an eager mother-in-law to be…sounds like a family to me."

"Well then I should offer you congratulations; with Katie soon to be a stepmother; you are soon to be a step-grandmother."

Johanna cringed a little. "Yeah I mentioned that one day when I was with the three of them and I was met with awkward laughter and odd looks for the comment. Of course it shouldn't be much of a surprise; Alexis is in college and already has a grandparent; she doesn't have much need or use for a step-grandparent and I'd never try to play the role of a grandparent to her. That's Martha's territory and I would never put my toes across that line."

Sarah's dark brow rose. "But she will be your granddaughter by marriage and you're allowed to have a relationship with her."

Johanna gave a slight humoring nod. "That would be nice but I'm not sure it would be welcomed; anyway; the fact remains that Katie is grown and has a family of her own and I'm not responsible for giving her a holiday."

"No; but families usually do spend part of the holiday together."

Johanna gave her a wry smile. "Yeah; well this family likes to be different. This coming May will be two years since I've come home and Katie and I haven't celebrated a holiday together…and I've made my peace with that. We made a deal last Christmas when we had our huge fallout; I told her I'd never bother her with holidays and gifts again and she said that was how she preferred it…and I'm keeping my promise. As her birthday drew near this year, I could just sense the agitation in her body that I might buy her a gift or ask to take her out for a meal…but I didn't. I sent her flowers and left it at that. I could hear the relief in her voice when she called to say she got the flowers."

"Jim mentioned the other day that you've been distant with her since her birthday."

She shrugged. "It's better that way for this time of year and she doesn't mind…she never has."

"But you're being complicit in her desire to keep you away at the holidays. You're shunning something you love because of her feelings."

"No," Johanna argued; "I'm shunning it because I have no desire to deal with it anymore. Last year was a hard lesson to learn…you can't go back…you can only move forward; and for me, to move forward means putting Christmas behind me. I can't erase all the bad ones; I couldn't create one good one for my first holiday at home…it can't ever be happy like it used to be so why bother? Jim doesn't mind; he doesn't want to celebrate either and Katie has no desire to be a part of anything outside of her new family and that's fine."

'Is it?" Sarah asked.

She nodded. "Yes…we get along better that way."

The spirit shook her head. "Oh, darling; you think you've got a handle on this and you don't."

"That's not true! Katie and I are better now than we were last year!"

"Then why do you still feel like you're on the outside looking in where she's concerned?"

Johanna shifted in her chair. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh I think you do…those few little wedding planning sessions seemed to leave you out in the cold."

She squirmed some more under Sarah's gaze. "It's still early in the process…I'm sure once she thinks about what she really wants, she might like some of my more traditional opinions."

"You know, that's another reason why you should try again to create a family Christmas," her grandmother remarked. "It'll be the last Christmas before she's married."

"No one is interested, Sarah; let's move on."

"I'm interested," the spirit said haughtily.

Johanna smiled. "Then feel free to visit on Christmas Day; I think Jim's coming around, so you'll have to find us at the cabin."

"No; you'll be here," she said firmly. "I'm not letting you run away from this."

"You can't stop me."

"We'll see about that. Perhaps you need reminders of how happy Christmas can be for you."

A sigh crossed her lips. "Is this the part where I touch your dress and we fly off to visit the past? Because I thought you said we weren't going to do that."

"No; Kitten, we're not; but if I want to show you the past; I assure you I'm capable of it without us leaving this room."

"I was kind of afraid of that," she muttered. "And yet I can't help asking how you would accomplish that feat."

Sarah smiled. "I can't tell you that."

"You can't tell me much of anything; can you?"

"Not as much as you'd like; but if you keep being stubborn; I'll have no choice but to demonstrate."

Johanna smirked at her. "Well then you might want to go ahead and pencil in a time slot for that because I'm serious about being over this whole Christmas thing. I'm over it and you need to get over it too."

Sarah eyed her for a long moment. "If Jim were more inclined to celebrate Christmas in the manner that you used to…or at least in a better manner than you did last year; would you be open to that?"

"No."

"No?"

"No," she stated.

"Why not?"

"Because Jim made it clear last year that he didn't want anything to do with it and only went along with me to keep me happy…how could I ever believe that he wanted Christmas to be something like it used to be?"

"Maybe he can find a way to make you believe."

"I don't think so."

"Last year started off well," Sarah stated. "You were creating nice memories with him."

"And they were all fake," she murmured; "Every nice thing I thought we were sharing was nothing but a fraud."

"That's not true."

"It is."

"Is that why you don't wear the bracelet he gave you last Christmas?"

Johanna nodded; her gaze dropping to the surface of the desk.

"The gift wasn't a fraud…it came from the heart, just like you'd want."

"Everything else was a fraud…and it taints the things that aren't."

"Maybe it wouldn't be that way this year…maybe you should give him a chance."

"He doesn't want it, Sarah; that's why he told me that it was fine if I didn't want to do anything this year."

"But what if he changed his mind?"

"He'd only be doing it because he thinks it's what I want; but Sarah; I don't, honestly I don't. Can't I make you believe that?"

"No," Sarah replied. "I know you believe that you don't want it because that's what you feel you have to do; but somewhere deep down inside; I think you do want it."

"I don't; and nothing you can say will change my mind."

Her grandmother smiled. "Oh, I do love a challenge, Kitten; and you can consider it accepted. I may not be able to convince you all on my own but I will have you convinced before long, you mark my words."

"So am I to assume that my visitations are going to start up again?"

"Oh I'd say it's a safe bet that a few visitors might pop in to wish you a Merry Christmas," Sarah replied; "But I have other plans as well…and no, I won't discuss them with you."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "I can't hardly wait."

"Oh come now; you know it's fun when I'm around…and I haven't bothered your cat today."

"Scarlett and I greatly appreciate that."

"How about you get out that Christmas tree today and see how Scarlett likes that?"

Johanna smirked at her. "Nice try but I don't think she's interested."

Sarah regarded her for a long minute without saying a word, making Johanna squirm beneath her gaze. "What are you thinking about?" she asked; although she had a feeling she didn't want to know.

"I'm thinking about the best course of action." Sarah replied; "It seems like I have a big job in front of me."

"You could just save yourself some time and leave things alone."

Her grandmother smiled. "I've never been the type of girl who could leave things alone."

Johanna frowned. "I should've known…I had to get that trait from somewhere."

Sarah giggled merrily. "Isn't it funny when things like that come back to bite you?"

"Oh yeah; hilarious," she said with a roll of her eyes.

Sarah shifted on the piano bench, a look of seriousness sliding across her features. "We never got to spend Christmas together…well; at least not in the way you did with Patrick and Sophia…I was always there, just not in the way we would've liked."

"I know," she murmured; a memory sweeping through her mind from when she was seven.

 _Johanna stood by her mother's side, Colleen's small hand clutched tightly in her own as she had been instructed to do while Naomi lit a candle in one of the old red votive cups at the front of the church after mass on Christmas Eve._

" _Merry Christmas, Sarah," Naomi murmured. "We wish you could be with us but we're thinking of you this season and we know you're watching over us."_

 _She made sure the lighter was returned to its proper spot and then looked down at her daughters, her gloved hand brushing over Johanna's dark hair. "Girls," she said softly; "Wish your Grandma in heaven a Merry Christmas; she'll hear you."_

" _Merry Christmas, Grandma," they murmured obediently._

" _Now she knows we're thinking of her," Naomi said as she took their hands and led them away. "We wouldn't want her to feel forgotten on Christmas."_

" _Who's our Grandma in heaven?" five year Colleen asked._

" _Your Grandma McKenzie," she answered; "She was Daddy's mommy."_

" _He doesn't talk about her," Johanna said softly._

" _I know, dear; it makes him sad; that's why we don't mention it."_

" _We can't tell him we told Grandma Merry Christmas?" Colleen asked._

" _I don't think we should," Naomi replied gently. "We don't want Daddy to be sad on Christmas."_

" _Did she hear us, Mama?" Johanna asked. "She heard us and doesn't feel sad and forgotten now?"_

 _Naomi guided her children to the back pew where her own mother was waiting for them to return so they could begin the journey home; but the solemn look on her girls faces meant that comfort was needed as they realized that someone was missing from their family. She sat down on the bench and pulled her girls to stand in front of her. "Yes, Bambina; your grandmother heard you and I'm sure it made her smile and she feels remembered and loved. I know that it's sad to think of someone who is no longer with us; especially at this time of year; you think of all the things they're missing; and it's hard to understand why Daddy and Grandpa don't speak of her; but it makes them sad and because we don't want them to be sad; we keep these little secrets, but she understands that. Grandma McKenzie is an angel; and you remember what you've been told about angels, don't you?"_

" _They watch over us," Johanna replied._

" _That's right; and I know that your grandmother is watching over all of us because we're her family; and I want you to know that she loves you both very much even though she can't be with you like Grandma Sophia is."_

" _Will she have Christmas in heaven?" Colleen asked._

" _Oh yes, she'll have Christmas," Naomi told her; "She'll be with all the other angels, helping Jesus celebrate his birthday."_

" _I wish she could have Christmas with us," Johanna said softly._

 _Naomi caressed her cheek. "So do I, baby; but she'll be with us in spirit; I'm sure. She wouldn't want either one of you to be sad. She wants you to be happy and enjoy Christmas; so there's no need to look sad…she'd want her granddaughters to smile real pretty and be the happy little girls they always are; can you do that for her?"_

" _Yes, Mama," they replied; small smiles curving their lips upwards._

" _That's my girls," she said as she gently nudged them back into the aisle. "Now we need to take Grandma home and get back to our house so you can get to bed; Santa will be coming soon."_

"Mom always lit a candle for you after mass and told you Merry Christmas," Johanna said softly.

"Yes, I know," she said, a sad note in her tone. "I wish I could've been a part of those family Christmases the way Patrick got to be a part of them."

"It's not your fault, Sarah."

"It doesn't make it any easier though…you know that fact all too well."

Johanna nodded. "Yeah; I guess I do…and I wish you could've been there in person too."

"I didn't get to be there the way we would've liked," Sarah said once again; "But I did get to be there, invisible to your eye but watching every moment. I have memories of all the Christmases of my children and grandchildren…and great grandchildren…and now, my great great grandchildren. Do you know what one of my favorite Christmas memories of you is?"

"No," Johanna replied; her interest piqued although she knew it would only encourage Sarah in her mission.

"You were four years old," Sarah said; "And you were so adorable…Patrick made sleds for Christmas that year; one big enough to hold you and Frankie together, and two smaller ones so you could each have your own and he carved your names in them."

"I remember," she said; "Dad carved Katie's name under mine when she was little…I still have it; it's in the basement somewhere."

"Patrick was very proud of those sleds," Sarah went on; "And it had snowed something fierce that that Christmas. You and Frankie were so excited when he pulled out those sleds and you were both anxious to head up the street where it got steep because all of the other children in the neighborhood had been riding their new sleds up and down all day long. You were hurrying behind Frankie to get you boots and mittens and your mother said you couldn't go because it was too cold out."

"I was devastated," Johanna said with a soft laugh.

Sarah nodded; a soft smile on her lips. "Yes you were; your little face crumbled and for once your in life, you went running to your daddy, begging him to let you go outside with your new sled."

Her gaze dipped to the surface of the desk; the memory still clear in her mind after all of these years…of how she had ran to her father and begged him to let her go outside with him and Frankie and her grandfather. " _Please, Daddy; please,"_ she had pleaded as she wrapped her arms around his leg, her face tipped upwards to look up at him. She remembered how he had picked her up so that they were eye level; smiled that rare handsome smile he was capable of giving and told her that she could come along; that her mother was just being fussy.

"He let you go; he overruled her and told her you'd be fine," Sarah remarked; "And Naomi told them that if you got hurt from that sled or sick from being out in the cold; she'd have both their heads."

"That was always Mom's favorite threat to Dad," she laughed; "But we had so much fun on those sleds."

"The best moment though was when you and Frankie were on the big sled and he wanted to lay on his stomach on it and Frank and Patrick thought it would be wise to put you on his back with only his coat for you to hang on to."

"It started off fine," Johanna said; amusement in her tone.

"Mhmm; and then as you picked up speed, it hit a little patch of ice, causing it to slide off course, hit a chunk of hard snow and suddenly you were both airborne…"

Johanna nodded. "That was the Christmas we learned to fly."

"Yes," Sarah said in amusement; "You both flew right into a snow bank…and you both laid there, stunned, while Frank and Patrick ran down that hill slipping and sliding the whole way down; cursing enough to make ten saints blush."

"That's because they were afraid of Mom," she giggled; "But that was when it became our black and blue Christmas. I had a busted lip and a bruised cheek; Frankie had a black eye and was missing a tooth; not to mention various bruises and scrapes."

Sarah laughed. "And if I remember correctly; when you were pulled from the snow bank; you said, and I quote 'that was fun, let's do it again'."

"And despite the bloodshed; Dad and Grandpa let us go again; of course they weren't anxious to go back to the house. Dad kept muttering "Naomi's going to kill us" and Grandpa said "well I had a good life; at least the kids will remember me fondly"."

"That's definitely my Patrick," Sarah said merrily.

"Mom yelled for hours," Johanna recalled; "And she did some cussing of her own; which she usually didn't do on Christmas because she said it wasn't nice to cuss on Jesus' birthday…but Christmas dinner that year was a colorful affair."

"But it's a good memory; isn't it?" the spirit asked.

"Of course it is; it was fun and exiting…and we weren't hurt all that bad; a little sore the next morning but we were alright…Grandpa stayed clear of the house for a week or so though," she laughed.

Sarah smiled. "See; there are good memories lurking in that mind of yours."

"I never denied that I had good memories of Christmas, Sarah; it's just that I haven't had a good Christmas since 1998…I've been on a streak of bad ones since then and it's time to call it a day because clearly I'm cursed."

"You're not cursed; and you're going to have a good Christmas again; we're going to turn this around."

"Sure, Sarah; whatever you say."

Sarah's dark brow rose. "I accepted the challenge, remember? And if I have to take drastic measures; I will."

A flicker of worry crossed Johanna's face. "What kind of drastic measures?"

"You leave that to me, Kitten," she replied.

"Why does that worry me?" Johanna asked.

The spirit shrugged. "Because you have a suspicious nature…I chalk that up to being a habit acquired during your career though."

"You're not going to do anything crazy, are you?"

Sarah smiled. "That remains to be seen, I suppose," she answered; thinking to herself that she had to sway Jim into helping her with this endeavor…and she also had to ponder how best to approach her great granddaughter. Katherine Beckett was a far more resistant being that her mother was…she didn't even seem to take after Jim too much in that area. She was going to be a tough one, Sarah figured; but she supposed she had tackled bigger things…but it was going to require some thought. She just couldn't fail in this endeavor…she couldn't allow Johanna to give up hope of good Christmases and that feeling of family. She had thought it was a job she could do alone…but now she wasn't so sure; especially considering that in the past, it had been Jim and Kate who had helped her carry on. Yes; she definitely had a lot of work to do; she had to keep at her granddaughter; she had to sway Jim and get him on her team…and she had to figure out how to go about introducing herself to her great granddaughter.

"You look like you're thinking awfully hard over there," Johanna commented.

Sarah nodded. "I have a lot of things to ponder…may I play the candy game on your telephone while I do some thinking?"

If it kept them from discussing Christmas, then Johanna figured it wasn't an issue and she could overlook the temper tantrum from the night before. "Sure; knock yourself out," she said as she picked the phone up from the side of her desk and set about pulling up the game for Sarah and then she slid across the desk to her.

"Thank you, darling; you're much nicer than your husband…he's a bit stingy."

Johanna laughed softly. "He does have his moments of stinginess."

"Very true…but it's the least of our worries at the moment," Sarah remarked as she focused on the game.

"I don't have any worries at the moment," Johanna declared. "Unless I should be worried about whatever it is you're thinking about."

"I'll let you know," Sarah quipped.

Johanna picked up her pen to get back to work but her teeth sunk into her lip; a hint of worry setting in despite her words testifying to opposite. What did Sarah have up that green silk sleeve of hers?


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews!_

Chapter 6- Tattle Tale 

Sarah had been absent and silent for a day and a half; making Johanna feel somewhat relaxed as she checked her gym bag to be sure she had everything she needed for her usual Saturday afternoon yoga class with Maggie. Sarah's silence made it easy to shake off her last visit and she thought that perhaps her ghostly grandmother had found something better to do with her haunting time…perhaps another grandchild was in need of an intervention so to speak and it bumped her down the list. She was completely fine with it if it meant Sarah was giving up her Christmas mission. Perhaps she realized that it was a lost cause…and it definitely was, she thought to herself as she crossed the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

"You know, I have a love hate relationship with those pants you're wearing," Jim remarked with a grin as he sat at the table; looking over some documents for work as he ate his lunch.

"Oh?" Johanna replied as she glanced at him.

"Yeah," he replied; his gaze moving over her. "I love to watch you walk away in them and yet I hate to see you go all at the same time."

She rolled her eyes but a blush and soft smile dampened the sentiment. "You're a smooth talker, aren't you?"

"I give you all my best, sweetheart," he said; a grin still on his lips. "It's all true by the way."

"Mhmm," she replied as she put her bottle of water in the bag.

"It is…and you know it."

Johanna gave him a sassy grin. "Of course I do; why do you think I keep wearing them?"

He chuckled. "See, you are a tease, just like I always said you were."

She brushed her fingertips against his chin. "Well, honey; I've got to keep you interested and enticed."

"You don't ever have to worry about that; there's never been a day when you haven't had me interested and enticed."

Johanna brushed a kiss against his lips. "But why leave it to chance?" she quipped; "Especially when you're so fond of enjoying views."

Jim laughed. "Well that's true. You just keep wearing these," he said, giving her a soft swat on her backside.

"Just for you," she said with a wink. "I'd be worried about our marriage if you didn't leer at me a few times a week."

"I leer at you more than a few times a week…you just don't see them all."

"I don't doubt that a bit," she laughed as her phone chimed. She pulled it from the pocket of her jacket and checked the message. "Maggie's out front," she stated while picking up her bag and her purse.

"What are you girls doing today besides yoga?" he asked as he followed her through the house.

"Well, after class we get coffee and sometimes roam the bookstore; I guess we'll just play it by ear if anything gets added to the list. I won't be gone too long."

"Take your time, sweetheart," Jim told her before kissing her. "You girls have fun but don't get in any trouble."

Johanna smiled. "But, honey, that's our whole reason for going out."

"Uh huh," he said; doing his best to give her a serious look of warning but failing as the smile he couldn't suppress returned to his lips. "Be careful; I'll see you later."

Johanna pressed another quick kiss to his lips before opening the door. "I'll let you know I got there," she replied. "I'll see you in a little while."

Jim stood at the door and watched her make her way down the steps and the sidewalk and then open the passenger side door of Maggie's blue Elantra. She gave him a wave as she reached for her seatbelt and he waved back; his gaze staying on her; watching until Maggie pulled away from the curb and the car disappeared from his line of sight. He closed the door and locked it, shaking off that small, familiar feeling of fear that always found him when Johanna left the house without him but it would pass; it always did. She was fine; she and Maggie went to yoga twice a week and did whatever other girl things they could get into. It was good for her…and he still thanked God every day that Maggie had moved back to Manhattan the year before, when Johanna had been so in need of an old friend.

Maggie had given Johanna something that no one else had been able to, Jim thought to himself as he made his way back to the kitchen. He didn't know if it was their past history or their shared quest to put their lives back together; but where Sharon had faltered in the friendship scheme of things; Maggie picked up the ball and ran with it and she and Johanna had been as close as they ever were for the past year…in fact, he mused; they might even be closer than they had been before…and he couldn't be happier for her; to see her with a best friend again; it was so very good for her.

Scarlett padded into the kitchen and sat down by his chair and meowed pitifully as she had a habit of doing anytime Johanna left the house. "She'll be back, Scarlett," he said as he leaned down and petted her consolingly. "You know she leaves us to our own devices once in awhile."

The cat meowed again and he laughed. "Come on now; we've been through this a hundred times; you're perfectly fine here with me and your mommy will be home before you know it."

Scarlett laid down beside his feet and he couldn't help but feel like it was some sort of feline pouting session…and he couldn't really blame her; after all, he was pretty sure there were times when he had a similar disdainful look on his face when she had plans that didn't include him.

He settled down with his work; concentrating on the documents in front of him for a while until his phone chimed with Johanna's message saying that they had arrived at their class safely. He texted back a reply to let her know that he had gotten the message and then gave his attention back to his work.

"I'm loudly announcing myself," a voice said; startling him and making him flinch.

"Damn it, Sarah," Jim said as she appeared in the chair across the table from him.

"What?" she asked. "You told me to announce myself so I did."

"Nobody likes a smartass ghost, Sarah."

"So you've told me," she replied; "But when you're related to a family full of smartasses; it's hard not to be one yourself…surely you understand."

He smirked at her. "Of course…but why do you keep popping in on me? Like I said before; I thought this was your thing with Johanna."

"It is, and I told you that I could pop in on you as well. As for why I keep visiting you; you should know the answer to that."

He sighed. "I've got work to do, Sarah; I don't have time for this Christmas thing again."

"Well you better make time, Buster," she replied; "Because I am not giving up this mission and I need you to get on board."

"I thought you said you could do it yourself?" he quipped.

"No one likes a smartass grandson-in-law, Jim," she said flippantly.

"Touché," he said with a grin.

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way; are you going to get on board and help your wife have a good Christmas?"

"I told her I'd think about the cabin."

"No, no no!" she exclaimed. "You need to stay here so she can get past this, why can't I get that through your thick skull?"

He sighed. "Fine, Sarah; I'll crush her and we'll stay home; happy now?"

Sarah narrowed her eyes at him. "I see I'm going to have to take a drastic measure with you."

"And what's that?"

Her dark brow rose. "You need to step into your office…someone is waiting to have a word with you," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Jim regarded her warily. "Who?"

"Go find out," she replied. "It's someone who was very interested to hear that you are uncooperative in my mission."

"I don't know if I like the sound of that…I don't mind it when Johanna says she's had a ghost visit…but I'm not sure I want one of my own."

"Well you don't have much choice," Sarah retorted. "Go on; your visitor is waiting."

"Are you serious?"

"Very," she said; her dark brow arched and a serious look on her face. "Now go."

Jim rose from his chair, being careful not to step on the cat as he reluctantly did Sarah's bidding; having a feeling that fighting it wasn't an option.

Jim headed toward the office, icy fingers of trepidation sliding down his spine. He didn't like this…which his wife would probably find funny since he didn't have any problem with her receiving these ghostly visitors and his numerous proclamations that he didn't mind Sarah's occasional presence. He minded Sarah now though; he wasn't amused in the slightest with whatever surprise she had planned for him. He paused outside the door and blew out a breath; stalling wouldn't help matters, he told himself, and yet for a moment his feet refused to move; afraid of what he might find on the other side of the threshold and what it might mean for him. Jim took a steadying breath; it was best just to get it over with…it was just a ghost after all; and while having the ability to exasperate and annoy, it couldn't hurt him.

With that thought in mind, Jim stepped inside the office, keeping his gaze on the carpet despite the bravado he had tried to summon.

"Jimmy," a warm familiar voice said affectionately as always.

Jim's head jerked upwards, his gaze colliding with Robert Beckett's as he sat in an arm chair that had been pulled over close to Jim's desk. "Dad?" he said, his voice oddly tight and strangled.

The older man grinned. "The last time I checked I was your father; although once in awhile I still ask your mother about the milk man Come on, son, come sit down; it's alright."

Jim moved further into the room, heading toward his desk without much thought and settling down in his chair, his gaze staying upon his father. He felt a tightness in his chest, the ache of loss and the anxiety that his heart would one day betray him as Robert's had done.

"Don't worry so much, Jimmy," Robert said; his tone gentle. "You're healthy; you take better care of yourself than I ever did."

His gaze dipped to the desk. "Not always," he murmured.

"You mean the drinking?" his father asked.

"Yeah," Jim answered; his hand squeezing the back of his neck. "Sometimes I worry that those five years will come back to haunt me…that I'll end up leaving Johanna here all alone because of what I did."

Robert shook his head. "You're okay, Jimmy; don't worry. You're not going anywhere for a long time and neither is Johanna so you put your mind at ease. The two of you have many years and milestones ahead. You're fine."

He felt his throat growing tighter. "You promise?"

"I give you my word of honor," Robert replied sincerely.

Jim inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly; trying to release the tightness and anxiety that filled his body; wanting to be as relaxed as he could often be when Sarah showed up out of nowhere…but this was different. This was his father. "It's been a long time, Dad," he said quietly.

Robert nodded. "I know…are you still mad at me for leaving you?"

"Hell yes, I'm still mad," he answered; "But not really at you; it wasn't your fault, I know you would've rather stayed with us."

"That's right; I would have."

"It's just always bothered me that I wasn't there," Jim replied. "That I wasn't with you when it happened."

"You didn't know anything was going to happen that day, Jimmy; no one did; I certainly didn't. It was sudden; no one was there but your mother. It's not your fault. I've always been sorry that Johanna was the one who had to tell you…it wasn't easy for her to take on that task."

"I know," he said quietly. "I knew something was wrong as soon as I stepped into my office and saw here there pacing the floor…Katie in the chair to the side of the room. I remember how my stomach hit my toes and how I prayed that she was only there to tell me that our daughter got kicked out of school for punching someone because surely that was the only reason for both of them to be in my office at one in the afternoon when Katie should've been in school and Johanna should've been off taking depositions from maids at some hotel for a case she was working on like she had told me that morning. I never expected what she was there to tell me. We both lost a father that day…because you filled the spaces that Frank didn't in that role for her."

Robert nodded. "I did my best for her; any man with a lick of sense would be proud to call her his daughter…and I was proud to claim her. Just like I'm proud that you're my son."

Jim squeezed the back of his neck again. "I'm not proud of those first five years Johanna and I was apart, you know," he suddenly felt a need to say.

"I know, son; you were deep in a well of unimaginable pain. She's your world and suddenly it was gone and you didn't know how to cope. It can happen to anyone. It doesn't change anything in my eyes. I think I have to take some blame; that habit of having a drink when something was wrong is something you learned from me and your grandfathers. All that matters is that you got through it and you've been away from it for longer than you indulged in it. You got through it and it's behind you now; Johanna's home safely and that terrible business she had to go through is over now as well."

"Thank God," he said quietly. "I'm so thankful she was spared…so grateful to have her back home. We've had some rough spots but we've gotten through them."

The spirit nodded. "I never doubted for a minute that the two of you would make it work again. You're soul mates; you'll always find a way…but I do keep watch; just in case anyone needs a subtle nudge that I can give," he said with a wink.

"That's good to know…and I'm glad to see you, Dad; but why are you here?"

Robert smiled. "I'm here because Sarah tells me that you're not cooperating with her mission."

"Her mission of nosiness, you mean?"

His father shook his head. "No, son; it's not really like that at all. Helping Johanna continue on her journey to complete healing isn't nosiness at all. Sarah…well…she's what you might call a 'working spirit'."

"A working spirit?" Jim asked; his brow rising. "You mean like that show Mom used to watch, Touched By An Angel?"

"Yes," his father replied; "But not nearly as sappy as all that…and without that standard lecture that came with every episode…but television always has taken liberties with such things; overall though, it's like that. Sarah really does have missions; and the missions that involve her family are so very important to her. She wants Johanna to have Christmas again; she doesn't want to see her turning her back on it so permanently. Last year didn't work out so well but with some effort, this year could be better."

"What happens to Sarah if her mission fails? Does that mean she can't come and go as she pleases anymore?"

'No; the boss understands that some people can't be swayed no matter what…but Sarah would take this failure very hard. She's been Johanna's guardian all her life; she was with her every day in Wyoming, making sure she didn't do anything more foolish than drowning her sorrows…because there was a moment…," he said before trailing off.

"I know," Jim said. "I read about it in one of the letters that was in the box she gave me. She was so drunk that night she didn't even remember writing it…but she remembered feeling the things she wrote about…she remembered what she thought about doing when she found out that Katie had been shot. I thank God every day that she didn't give in to that feeling; that coming home and fighting won out. It took her a little while to get here but I understand that; she wanted to get herself back together a little bit before she got here."

Robert gave a nod. "She held on for you and Katie; you're her reason for living and fighting and she's never thought about those dark things again. She stumbles sometimes; not in her thoughts but in other ways…but she always has faith that you'll always pick her back up."

"I do my best," he replied. "I try to do anything I can…like I said; we've had our rough spots but we got through it. I'd never give up on her."

"Then you should let her give up on Christmas. You shouldn't give up on it either."

Jim sighed. "It just brings back bad memories, Dad."

"I know; it brings back bad memories for her too."

"Then shouldn't it be okay for us to put holiday celebrations behind us?"

"No," Robert replied; "It isn't alright. You're not thinking about the big picture. Things are always changing, you know; little Katie is engaged now; your family is growing."

He smirked a little. "I don't see us doing joint holidays, Dad."

"Why not?"

"Well to be completely honest; I just don't feel like Jo and I fit in with Rick and his family. They're nice people, don't get me wrong; and as long as he makes Katie happy and takes care of her, I have no objection to their marriage…but we just don't fit in. Jo's mentioned it a few times herself and I always tell her it's not true but we both know I'm lying. We don't fit in and Katie doesn't make much effort to merge the families together. Hell for the past two years Rick has thrown her a birthday party and we've never been invited…which to me is a bit wrong…I mean if it wasn't for us, she wouldn't have a birthday to celebrate."

Robert laughed and Jim shook his head. "I know, Dad; I know; I sounded like Mom and no one hates that more than me, but it is the truth if you think about it."

"You're right; it is the truth and I do understand where you're coming from," the older man replied. "I always thought Katie would grow up to be like her mother…she fooled us all."

"Sure did," Jim laughed. "That's why she and Jo have a delicate balancing act they do…and since that mess of last year; they've made some deal to basically ignore each other from November to January."

"You've got to nip that in the bud, Jimmy. One day you'll have grandchildren…you don't want them thinking that Martha is the only grandparent they have, do you?"

"I'm not sure we're going to be given a choice," he replied; "And besides; I'm not even sure Katie wants kids for that matter."

Robert scoffed. "Well she better learn to want them; because I assure you, she will have them…and you and Johanna need to be there making sure that child or children, whichever the case may be, knows that it has more than one grandparent; especially at the holidays."

"Can't we worry about all that when it happens?" Jim asked. "We're just not feeling it yet this year. Bad memories are hard to shake off, Dad."

"I know; but to truly move on, you have to let go of that pain and try again. She hurt just as much as you did all those years."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do…she told me all about that."

'Let's be sure of it," Robert said. "Open your laptop."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to show you something."

Fear sliced through him. "I don't think I want to."

"Open it, Jimmy," he demanded.

Jim swallowed hard and opened the laptop. "What are you going to show me?"

"Johanna's last Christmas in Wyoming."

He shook his head and slammed the lid down on the laptop. "No; Dad; don't show me that…I can't see that."

Robert's weathered hand reached out and opened the laptop. "I don't like doing this to you, Jimmy; but when you're thinking of bad holiday memories; you're only thinking of your own…you need to see what it was like for her too…after all; you accused her last year of not thinking about yours."

The screen came to life and Jim had to force himself not to close his eyes as he found himself looking into Johanna's bedroom in Wyoming. The television on the wall was on; a wine bottle on the nightstand along with an empty glass and a barely touched TV dinner. His stomach clenched as the scene moved, allowing him to see the crumpled tissues littering the comforter that his wife was curled beneath; her sniffing heard clearly and as the image moved closer; he could see the red puffy eyes that were full of tears; the paleness of her face…and that old family picture of the three of them clutched in her hand.

Jim swallowed hard; he knew all about those pictures she had managed to smuggle to Wyoming with her; but now seeing her clutching it in the small plastic frame that she had put it in made his heart break.

" _I'm so sorry,"_ he heard her murmuring to the picture. _"I'm always saying how sorry I am; and I am so sorry…so sorry we're apart again for Christmas. It's going to be the last Christmas we spend apart; we'll be together next Christmas," she cried, her thumb brushing over Jim's image in the photo. 'At least the two of you have each other for now; that's the only comfort I can derive."_

He was sure a boulder was lodged in his throat. Johanna had thought that he and Katie had each other for the holidays…but he had been alone at the cabin; his mind full of memories and his heart aching as always. Katie had been at work…as always. "I don't want to see anymore," he whispered.

'Keep watching," Robert said firmly. "Make sure to look at the detail of the house, keeping in mind that it's Christmas."

"I can't…I can't stand to see her in so much pain."

"I think you need to see it, Jimmy," he said; a distant knock being heard on the screen.

Jim swallowed hard, the lump not moving an inch as he watched the screen, seeing Johanna tense and then slip out from under the covers, clad in her pajamas, stumbling slightly as she moved into the dark hallway. He held his breath as he watched her pause at the threshold of the living room. The knocking continued; a female voice he recognized as Carolyn's calling out to her. _"Meg, open the door; I know you're there."_

Johanna remained in the shadows, a dim nightlight plugged in in the kitchen spilling just enough light for Jim to be able to see that there was no Christmas tree in the living room; no decoration of any type to acknowledge the holiday. Carolyn continued to call out to her, imploring her to open the door, to come join her family for Christmas dinner.

Jim was well aware that he was watching a scene from the past but he found himself willing her to answer the door; to go be with the friend who cared enough to yell at her door. But she didn't. She merely slipped to the kitchen and made sure the back door was locked as Carolyn jiggled the knob on the front door as she continued to call out. There weren't any decorations in the kitchen; no counter full of baked goods either. There was nothing but emptiness and depression…regrets…and he could feel the weight of her despair as she moved silently through the house, making her way back to the bedroom…a shell of the woman he knew and loved. He watched with his breath caught in his throat as she poured another glass of wine; the tears spilling down her cheeks once more. She took a long sip of her drink and then turned off the lamp; the light of the TV illuminating her as she picked the picture up from the pillow and crawled into bed with it; hanging on it as if it was a lifeline.

"Please don't make me watch anymore," Jim pleaded; his heart so tight he was sure it would bust.

Robert closed the lid of the laptop. "That's what Christmas was like for Johanna for all those years in Wyoming…it's similar to yours. It's bleak, isn't it?"

He nodded; unable to form a worthy response.

'When she came home; she was ready to have Christmas again," his father stated.

"I know…and we blew it for her."

Robert smiled. "You sure did."

'It was more Katie's fault than mine."

"Oh there's no disputing that," he chuckled; "But instead of doing damage control you had to take the ball Katie passed and run with it. I always said you made a sport out of making Johanna mad at you."

'It does seem that way at times," Jim admitted. "I do feel badly about how things turned out last year but she's just not interested this year and I gave all my energy to feigning like for the holiday last year. She wants to go to the cabin and I said I'd think about taking her…and after what I just had to see, I'm all for running away with her so she doesn't have to think about those terrible Christmases again."

"You can't let her run away from it, Jimmy. It's not helping anything; which is what Sarah keeps trying to get through to you. You need to nudge her into having Christmas here with you; regardless of who may or may not be here. She needs to try again; you need to cooperate…you might rediscover a liking for the holiday yourself."

Jim scoffed; that seemed doubtful and he didn't really see Johanna rediscovering it either. "Why's it such a big deal?"

"Because it's a part of families, son; and right now you and Johanna might feel a bit alone in some respects; but you still have family and one day the house might be full of people wanting to celebrate with you. Do you really want to be off jet setting for every holiday? Because before long, she's going to have you convinced to take her somewhere tropical for Christmas."

He frowned. "I'm not having a tropical holiday."

"Then you better get on board, boy. Start doing some nudging; keep reminding her of that peppermint cake; remind her of something else that has to do with the season that always meant so much to her. You've brought her this far, Jimmy; you can't stop now. It's a missing piece of the puzzle and you can help put it back and make her complete again. You can try for her, can't you? Don't let her turn bitter about the season…you don't want her to be like your mother do you? Lizzie was bitter about a lot of things and maybe if I had worked on healing those things for her a little more she wouldn't have been the way she was the older she got. Do you want that for Johanna?"

"No; I don't want that," Jim answered. "I don't want her to have any bitterness."

"Then you'll try?"

Jim blew out a breath. "I'll try but I can't promise anything."

'That's all I ask, son," Robert said with a smile. "And I meant it when I said I'm proud of you; I am; I never want you to doubt that."

"Are you leaving?" Jim asked; a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Not because I want to," his father replied; "But because I have to."

"I understand," he replied although he didn't want to understand; he wanted to be able to demand that he stay, that they talk awhile longer. "Will you ever visit like this again?"

"Oh you never know, I might," Robert said; a twinkle in blue eyes. "I have to make sure you're on the straight and narrow and not causing that sweet girl too many problems."

Jim laughed quietly. "She'd probably appreciate that."

"I'm sure she would."

He shifted in his chair awkwardly for a moment. "I don't know if I ever said it enough…and I always hated that I didn't get to say it one last time; but I love you, Dad," he said. "I miss you."

"I love and miss you too, Jimmy," Robert replied; "But I'm with you; don't you worry about that. I have to go now…and Sarah's waiting for you in the kitchen…you better go see her before she takes it into her head to play with that kitten of Johanna's; the poor thing is scared to death of Sarah."

"Who can blame her," Jim quipped despite the ache spreading across his heart.

His father laughed. "You're my boy alright," he said. "I'll see you around, Jimmy."

"See you, Dad," he murmured; watching as his father faded from sight.

The room felt so strangely empty all of a sudden; the reminder of that loss being felt deeply for a second and he wished that Johanna was home so that he could bury himself in her arms to ease the ache. He pushed away from his desk and left the room, his stride quick and purposeful as he made his way to the kitchen to confront the other ghost waiting for him.

As he entered the kitchen, he heard Scarlett's pitiful mewing as Sarah dangled a string in front of her. "Come on, fraidy cat," she told Scarlett. "I just want to play with you; I'm your friend."

Jim moved swiftly across the floor and picked up Scarlett, holding her close against him in the same manner Johanna always held her. "Leave Johanna's cat alone," he said firmly. "You scare her."

"Well that's why I'm trying to play with her," Sarah retorted. "I'm showing her that there's nothing to be afraid of but clearly Johanna has spoiled her."

"It's her baby to spoil," he retorted; "That's why I got her for her."

Sarah eyed him knowingly. "Yes, I know…you wanted to give her a substitution…Katie wasn't big on accepting Johanna's maternal love and you're past the stage of having more children…so giving her a kitten to play mommy to was the answer you came up with."

"Johanna always wanted a kitten," he said tartly.

"Oh I know; there's nothing wrong with it; I'm just saying that we all know that you got her a kitten so she'd have a baby of her own to love again, so to speak."

"Go away, Sarah," Jim said as he sat down, depositing Scarlett on his lap.

Sarah eyed him. "Are you upset with me?"

"What do you think!?"

"What did I do?" she asked.

"Well let's start with tattling to my father…and then having him show up here so it could be painful when he had to leave…not to mention showing me things I didn't want to see."

"I'm sorry, darling," Sarah replied; "But sometimes tough love is the only way to go."

"I'm not feeling the love, Sarah…and I'm sure you're not feeling any from me at the moment either."

The spirit shrugged. "I'm not taking it personally at this point. You'll feel better when Johanna gets home…but remember, you promised your father you'd try…that officially means that you're on my team so you better get to work on nudging her…I'll be watching."

"What else is new, you old fashioned busybody," he retorted.

"Oh, dear," she said; "If you keep that up I might need to have another tantrum."

'For God's sake, don't do that," Jim spat. "We've had enough of that."

"Then you mind your manners like a nice grandson would or next I tell on you to your grandmother Lilly."

"Go ahead; give her my regards," he replied. "Maybe she'll tell you to leave me be. I thought you were going to go pick on Katie for awhile."

Sarah gave him a haughty look. "I'll get to her; but for now, I'm picking on you…you're the lesser of the two hardheads by my estimation."

"Don't be so sure of that."

"Oh I'm very sure of myself," she replied. "You'll realize that soon enough."

"Go now, Sarah; I've had enough of this for one day."

"Very well," she said; "But remember your promise."

"Yeah, yeah," he said waving a hand at her.

Sarah faded from sight and he dropped his hand to Scarlett's back and petted her soothingly. "It's alright, Scarlett; I think we're ghost free now."

She meowed; looking up at him with her green eyes. "I know," he said; "You want your mommy…I want her to come home too…she can protect both of us from this ghostly intrusion."

Scarlett rubbed her head against his chest and he smiled, his hand stroking over her fur; apparently they were in agreement on the subject.

* * *

"I'm home," Johanna called out a little while later as she stepped through the front door and quickly closed it behind her to keep the chilly air from following her inside.

Scarlett came running at the sound of her voice as always, sitting down at Johanna's feet as she sat down the bags of food on the stand and hung up her coat and purse. She stooped down and petted her cat, loving her up in apology for leaving as Scarlett always seemed to look at it as some sort of betrayal. "I told you, I'd be back," she told her. "Where's Daddy?"

"If you're referring to me, I'm right here," Jim said as he stepped into the entry way.

"Who else would I mean?" she asked; an amused smile on her lips as she moved to his side to steal a kiss.

He accepted her kiss and did his best to shake off his own ghostly encounters. "You never know who you might be referring to…I didn't realize that I was Scarlett's father."

"Well you tell her that I'm her mommy, so naturally that makes you the daddy. She's our love kitten."

Jim chuckled and pulled her back for another kiss and then wrapped her in his arms, nuzzling her hair as she settled against him, the images his father had shown him still fresh in his mind and all he wanted to do was hold her and make sure she never hurt that way again.

"Are you okay?" she asked; her arms slipping around him.

"Yeah; I just missed you that's all."

She held him tighter. "Maybe I've been going out too much," she murmured, a sudden wave of guilt washing over her. This was just another reason why she couldn't take that part time position at Columbia; she was needed at home…she needed to be there when Jim wasn't at work and she had her cat to tend to as well.

"No, sweetheart," he said quietly. "You haven't gone out too much; you were only gone a few hours."

"I know, but sometimes I go with Maggie on Wednesdays too and then I'm not here when you get home."

"That's okay," he told her. "You're not far behind me at getting home on those days and I'm glad you enjoy going to yoga with Maggie; you always come home nice and relaxed and that's good for you. I don't have any issue with you going out for girl time with her or Valerie. I go out with my friends too and leave you here; it's only fair you have your time too. I didn't mean to make you feel otherwise."

"If it ever does seem like too much, you can tell me."

"Alright," Jim replied; humoring her so that they could end the subject. "What's in the bags that Scarlett's eyeing longingly?"

"Dinner," Johanna answered.

"Good; what did you get?"

"Chicken from that restaurant you like so well; and before you ask; yes, I got extras of everything. We'll have leftovers tomorrow…I'm taking Sunday off this week."

"Sounds reasonable," he said with a smile as she grabbed the bags of food, Scarlett meowing as she did so.

"I'll give you a little bit of chicken with your food," Johanna told the cat. "I wouldn't forget you."

"She wouldn't let you even if you wanted to," Jim stated as he followed them to the kitchen.

"That's the truth," she laughed. "Can you do something for me?"

"Name it."

"Can you set the table while I run upstairs and change?" she asked, sitting the bags down on the counter. "I'll only be a couple of minutes."

"Yeah; go ahead," he told her, knowing that she was probably getting chilly in her thin workout clothes and wanted to put on something warmer.

By the time she returned, clad in a long sleeve shirt and a pair of leggings, he had already set the table and had opened the bucket of chicken, quickly and easily pulling off the crusty skin so that he could pull off pieces of the meat to put with Scarlett's food as she had been promised.

"You're feeding Scarlett first?" Johanna quipped. "I figured I'd come down here and you would've already dug into everything."

He smiled. "Well since you said that Scarlett is our love kitten, I figure we have to feed her first…and besides, a gentleman is supposed to wait on his dining companion before he starts eating."

She side eyed him with an amused grin. "Did you do something while I was out that you're going to be in trouble for?"

"No," he laughed; "I just couldn't stand Scarlett's pitiful look anymore and decided to put her out of her misery and be a gentleman all at the same time."

"That's more like it," she giggled, stealing another kiss as she moved to the table to open the containers of food he had set there.

"What did you Maggie do after yoga?" he asked; setting the small dish of Scarlett's food on the floor for her.

"We got coffee and browsed the bookstore like usual; she wanted to get some travel guides about Cancun. Then we both decided to pick up takeout to take home for dinner."

He smiled as he joined her at the table. "It's good to know that Jeff's being fed too."

"We figured it's the least we can do for the two of you," she jested. "What did you do while I was out?"

"I did some work and consoled your cat," he answered. "She reminds me of Katie when she was a baby…she didn't seem to have much faith in my caretaking ability either."

"That's not true at all."

"You didn't see the looks she gave me when you'd leave her with me," Jim replied. "She didn't trust me at all…and Scarlett doesn't think I'm capable either, I can tell."

"She loves you," Johanna retorted lightly as they both dug into their food.

'She loves you more; not that I blame her…I love you best too."

She brushed her foot against his leg as she caught his eye. "You're being awfully sweet today; are you being subtle about making a move on me?"

He grinned. "That wasn't my intent but if it's working for you then hell yes; I'm trying a new approach and you can show me your appreciation after dinner."

Johanna laughed. "You never miss an opportunity, do you?"

"Not with you, sweetheart," he replied before deciding to broach a topic she wouldn't like. "Listen, I was thinking."

"Should I be worried?" his wife asked.

"No; not at all," he smiled; "But I was thinking that you should probably put up the Christmas tree."

Johanna paused with her fork full of mashed potatoes and gravy halfway between her mouth and the plate. "What for?"

"Because it's December; we should have the tree up."

"Honey," she sighed; "I told you, I don't want to do all that anymore."

"I know but I figured you meant all the other decorating…you could still put the tree up. You've always loved Christmas trees…they're one of your favorite things."

She frowned. "Not anymore."

"You loved the tree last year."

"I kind of soured on it at a certain point," she replied. "I took it down before New Years."

"I know…but that doesn't mean we can't put it up this year. You can buy new ornaments again if it would make it better for you."

Johanna shook her head. "No; I don't really want to deal with all of that again. I told you, I'm not into it anymore."

"But how will it look to people who might stop by here before the holiday if there isn't a tree here?"

She swallowed her bite of dinner. "It'll probably look like I don't care…and I don't."

"I think you probably care a little," he said.

Johanna shook her head. "Nope; don't care."

"I think we should put one up," Jim stated. "Just for the sake of not having to answer any questions about it…and you'll probably like it when it's finished."

"No; and if anyone asks; I'll tell them the truth. I didn't decorate because I don't do Christmas anymore. If they don't like it or find it distasteful, they can tell me so and then leave."

"It would probably be easier to just put the tree up."

She sighed. "I'm hoping we'll be at the cabin for Christmas; and if we do end up going there, then what's the point in putting up a tree here at home?"

"Well," he said between bites of his chicken; "Like I said; it would just look better if there was one here in case people stop by before the holiday. Put up the tree, bake the peppermint cake and a few cookies and call it a day."

She frowned. "No."

"Okay forget the cookies; just the cake and the tree."

"Jim; please," she said in exasperation. "I told you I didn't want to do all that and you said I didn't have to and now you're trying to make me do it."

"Only for your sake," he replied. "Except for the cake; that's for my sake; but the rest is definitely for you. We have little nieces and nephews who know that they always get cookies when they visit Aunt Jo; and our grownup nieces and nephews would find it strange if there wasn't a tree and some baked goods. They might worry about you or something."

"I'll assure them that I'm perfectly fine and as for the kids, there's a pack of Oreo's in the cupboard."

"There isn't as many in the pack as there used to be," Jim informed her. "I got hungry while you were at yoga…and you've been dipping your hand into it as well."

"I'll buy more."

"You'll need some candy canes too…the kids like to pluck them off the tree."

"What is with you and this Christmas tree all of a sudden?"

"I just want you to have one," he told her. "It wouldn't seem much like Christmas without one."

"You said the one we had last year was the first one you had since the last Christmas we were together."

"That's true."

"Then you should be used to not seeing one," Johanna replied; "I'm used to it; after all, last year was my first tree in all those years too. We revisited that part of our lives and we didn't like it. Now I don't want to discuss it anymore right now."

He suppressed a sigh of his own; he had tried as promised but she wasn't ready to be swayed…and he didn't want to pick an unnecessary fight either. "I guess that appreciation for my sweet, gentlemanly ways is probably looking less hopeful now, isn't it?"

His wife smiled. "You might've dimmed that desire."

Jim returned her smile. "I'll do better tomorrow."

"You better," she said lightly; "I don't like being lead on for nothing."

Jim laughed. "Well you could forgive my transgression and appreciate me anyway if you really want to."

"I don't think I can; the moment passed…that'll teach you."

"Yeah; I guess it will," he agreed; "But thanks for dinner, anyway."

Johanna laughed. "You're welcome; I'm sorry it's not being followed with your favorite after dinner date preference but you only have yourself to blame."

"So you tell me," he quipped. "I love you anyway."

"I love you too…and I forgive your choice of dinner topics."

"I appreciate that, sweetheart," he smiled; while silently thinking that maybe now that he had tried and failed to encourage Christmas spirit in his wife that the ghosts that were plaguing them would move on and let them be…but somehow he doubted it.

* * *

Late that night, Johanna found herself patiently listing the symptoms of a heart attack and listening as her husband answered no to each one. It wasn't the first time she had done it; in fact she could recall that the first time had been before they were dating; in the midst of Robert Beckett's first heart attack and subsequent surgery. Anxiety over his father's health had sprung up at times for Jim; anytime his father had mentioned the slightest twinge in his body; no matter the reason for it; Jim would worry that the man was having another heart attack and in the process, convince himself that he was having one as well.

His anxiety had only increased after Robert had died and Johanna was sure that she had spent at least two nights a week for the first six months afterwards listing the symptoms and talking her husband down from his attacks of anxiety. Time had eased things; she found that he only needed her to list the symptoms during days when Robert was on his mind a lot or around the elder man's birthday or the anniversary of his passing. Since her return from Wyoming nearly two years before, she had only had to do this a few times; which was on par with how things had been when she had left and she took comfort in that hint of so called normalcy.

"You're alright, Jim," she soothed as her list came to an end; her hand patting his chest gently.

"Are you sure?" he asked as always.

"Positive. We went through the list; you said you didn't have the symptoms. You answered honestly, didn't you?"

"Yes…but you didn't forget any, did you?"

"No, darling; I make sure I stay up to date on the information. Does your chest feel heavy or tight?" she asked again.

"No."

"Do you have any pain?"

"No."

"Tell me again exactly what you felt," she said patiently, her voice soft as she kept her eyes upon him.

"I don't know," Jim replied. "It just felt weird; like my heart sped up for a few seconds; like a fluttering or something."

Johanna nodded. "It was a heart palpitation, honey. It's normal to have those once in awhile. Remember, a doctor told us that before. Was it just that once or are you having more?"

He shook his head. "Just that one…"

"But?"

"But it made me nervous. I don't like feeling anything wrong in my chest."

"I know, honey," she murmured; her fingers raking through his hair near his temple. "But I promise that you're alright."

"I don't think its normal," he said, still in the grips of anxiety over the issue. "You don't know how weird and scary it feels."

"Now that's where you're wrong," she replied. "Don't you remember that I had a few of those palpitations while I was pregnant with Katie? I made you take me to the hospital because it scared me; I felt like my heart was beating too fast and fluttering too. The doctor said it was a normal symptom of an advancing pregnancy. He also told us that they're normal for everyone else too. I never had them after that until I first stopped having my period…I was by myself then so I was equally terrified of it even though I knew it was a result of hormones in my case. I haven't had any in awhile but I do know what it feels like and that it's scary."

He breathed deeply; he had forgotten about that episode of her pregnancy…and of course he hadn't been there for that phase in her life when she had finished her cycle. She did understand how he felt…and he was sorry that he hadn't been there when she had been alone and afraid.

"I wouldn't let anything happen to you, Jim," she said softly. "If I thought for a minute that something was wrong, I'd be rushing you to the hospital."

"I know," he replied quietly.

Her fingers caressed his face, her lips skimming against his before she dipped her head to press her ear against his heartbeat. "Your heart sounds normal," she told him after a minute.

"You're sure?"

"Mhmm; I do usually fall asleep listening to it so I'm pretty sure I know what it sounds like," she answered, a loving smile on her lips as she raised her head. "Does it feel normal?"

"Yeah, but…you know…"

"I know, honey," Johanna murmured as he tucked her against his side. "Is Robert on your mind today?"

"Yeah," he breathed.

"Any special reason?"

Jim shook his head, unwilling to divulge his visit. "I just miss him a lot at this time of year."

"I miss him too," she whispered.

"I know you do, sweetheart."

"Do you think he would've forgiven me for leaving?" she asked.

"Without any hesitation," he answered. "He loved you; all that would've mattered was that you were kept safe and that you made it home."

Johanna wrapped her arm around him tightly. "I miss Mama the most at this time of year."

"I know; I miss her too. Sometimes I even miss watching a football game with Frank," he said with a quiet laugh.

She laughed softly. "Sometimes I miss bickering with Lizzie."

Her husband grinned. "I guess we were a dysfunctional family but we made it work."

"Yeah; we did," she agreed. "It had its moments, but it was good, wasn't it?"

Jim nodded. "Yeah; it was good…those were good times; even the ones that we thought were bad…now we laugh about them."

"That's true…and it's one reason why I want to go away for the holidays," Johanna whispered. "I wouldn't mind staying so much if we had our siblings around; last year we spent some of Christmas Eve with Frankie and Valerie; on Christmas Day, Andrew and Gabby came to dinner and so did Samantha and her baby. This year Frankie and Valerie are going to Florida with their family so that they can see Trevor for Christmas. Andrew's taking Gabby to Maine to see her grandmother. Colleen doesn't have anything to do with us; neither does your sister. William never did have much to do with us and he stays in Germany anyway. Michael and Natalie…well, they invited you over last year and I'm sure they'll invite you this year…and like I told you last year, please don't feel like you have to turn that down on my account. I'd never be angry about it if you wanted to go."

He shook his head. "Its either both of us or neither of us."

"Which puts us back to no siblings to spend the holiday with which was my original point. Our parents are gone; our siblings occupied. It would just be easier not to feel so much if we were somewhere else."

"We're going to miss people no matter where we are, Jo," Jim told her, his hand caressing her arm.

"I know…but maybe it would be easier. You're still thinking about it, aren't you? That maybe we can go to the cabin?"

"Yes, sweetheart; I'm still thinking about it," he said, fearing that the statement would send a horde of angry ghosts to their bedroom door but the house remained still and quiet with the exception of the television that Johanna had been falling asleep to before he had woke her in his panic. "But I want you to do something for me in return."

"Bake the peppermint cake?" she asked.

"Not exactly what I was going for but I'm adding it to the original thought I had," he replied. "I want you to make the cake…and I think you really should consider putting up the Christmas tree…you know; in case people come around the week before the holiday…Angie's little girl would be disappointed not see a tree here…and I wouldn't doubt that Greg and Kelly stop by with Ally before they head to Florida."

Johanna sighed. "I don't really want to, Jim."

"I know; but how would it look if there's no tree?"

"We already had that discussion."

"I still think you should put up the tree," he argued.

She sighed once more. "Maybe I can find one of those small ones that you can sit on a stand."

Jim frowned. "That seems like cheating…that's like a wimp tree."

Johanna angled her head so that she could meet his eye. "Since when do you care if we have a tree or not? Last year when we went out to the store to buy one, you acted like I was killing you; you complained while moving the furniture, you complained while helping me set it up even though it was pre-lit."

He shrugged. "Maybe I'm reformed."

"Uh huh."

"Just think about it, okay? It's the least you can do since I'm thinking about the cabin."

"Fine," she replied; "I'll think about it. How are you feeling?"

"Some better; but still a little nervous."

She kissed him once more. "You're okay; I'm right here with you. If I fall asleep while we watch TV, you wake me up; I'll keep a watch on you while you sleep."

"You don't have to stay up all night."

"I don't mind; I'd do anything for you, you know that."

Jim released a weighted breath; he knew she would…and he would do anything for her…and maybe that meant he should take her to the cabin regardless of ghostly advice. She could decorate and bake just as well there as at home. Really, what would it hurt?

"Jo?"

"Hmm?"

"If we went to the cabin; would you put up a Christmas tree there?"

"I guess if you wanted me to I would…although I don't know where we'd get one because I won't have you out in the woods chopping one down."

"We could get one in town," he replied. "I think some of Mom's old decorations are still in a closet somewhere up there."

'Does that mean we're going?"

"I'm leaning towards it," he admitted; "But don't take it as a complete yes just yet."

She smiled at him and kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied; the feel of cool air rushing into the room and making him cringe inside as his phone began to blare music. "Doesn't she ever take a break?" he muttered as he reached for it.

"It doesn't seem like it," Johanna replied. "She probably didn't like hearing us make holiday plans…she's got a hang up about that."

'Yeah; I know," Jim remarked; "And I have a feeling we'll both be hearing more about it sometime soon."

They remained cuddled up together but switched to lighter topics, talking until they both finally began to doze off. Jim kept trying to force his tired eyes open, still partially worried about his heart despite the absence of the palpitation that had unnerved him in the first place. A flash of light hit his eyelids and his eyes opened, a tremor of panic racing through his body as he found himself looking up at his father.

"Jimmy," Robert said; "I told you not to worry, son; your heart is fine."

"But," he managed to whisper.

"But nothing," his father replied. "You're fine; there's nothing to worry about. You just hang on to her real tight," he said with a nod at Johanna's sleeping form; "And you get some sleep. I wouldn't lie to you; you know that."

Jim nodded sleepily as he tightened his hold on Johanna. His father smiled. "That's right; you just hang on to your girl and let yourself relax; everything's alright…except that Sarah isn't too thrilled with the two of you but I'm sure you'll know more about that whenever she visits again."

He scoffed as his eyes closed; he had gone to sleep with happier thoughts. "Thanks, Dad," he managed to murmur as sleep began to claim him. He felt a hand pat his head, a gesture the reminded him of when he had been a little boy and his father would give him a pat on the head when he was nearby. His body relaxed and Johanna cuddled closer, her leg entwining with one of his. Everything was fine…they could worry about Christmas and ghosts tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews as always; and as always, sorry for the delay; you know how it goes; the best laid plans and all that jazz….Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!_

Chapter 7- The Lady in Green

Sarah McKenzie was a patient woman, or rather she had learned to be; after all she had nothing but time…an eternity's worth, she couldn't help but remind herself with a soft sigh. There were times though when she felt like she didn't have enough time to work on a special project and this was one of those times she thought as she stood in the 12th precinct and observed her great granddaughter as she worked at her desk. No, she didn't feel that she had nearly enough time to persuade her wayward family to pull together and celebrate the holidays.

After all, it was already December…and Johanna was very very stubborn…and Katie was even more so…and add in to the mix that Jim was no help at all and it was almost enough to make a spirit swear; not that she would of course; she was, after all, a lady…a lady who reserved her swearing for appropriate moments.

That moment hadn't come yet but she felt like it was growing near; which would be rather unfortunate given that it was the time of year to 'make spirits bright'. Sarah laughed softly at her own joke; knowing very well that the song hadn't been speaking of _her_ kind of spirit. Her smile dimmed a little; really it wasn't a funny joke at all, given all the Christmases she had missed with her children and grandchildren. She could understand how bitter Johanna felt about the holidays; it was something she herself carried with her. After all, how could she not be a little bitter that foolishness had resulted in a bad bout of pneumonia that in turn robbed her young children of their mother?

Sarah shook off the thought; there was noting to be done about that now; she couldn't change anything just like Johanna couldn't change the fact that she had been forced into hiding for thirteen years. The difference though was that Johanna was alive and well; still in the prime of her life and able to enjoy everything that came with it. She knew that her granddaughter had tried very hard the year before to create a nice holiday for her husband and daughter…and that her daughter had blown it to smithereens. Sarah worried her bottom lip as she focused her gaze on Kate as she did her paper work.

How did one solve a problem like Kate Beckett? Her great granddaughter was as stubborn as a mule; far too practical and not very inclined to believe in things she couldn't understand or verify with police resources. She was going to be a tough one. It was going to be a case that tried that patience she purported to have so much of…and no one liked a spirit with a foul mood; but she'd do her best to keep her mood in check. But that didn't help her decide how to move forward in regard to Kate Beckett…but she would move forward, it was her job…and even if it was one of her most difficult assignments, she was doing it for Johanna; and Johanna was very important to her. She wanted her to be happy; to have as much healing as possible. If only the world at large would cooperate, she thought with a sigh.

The question plaguing her still remained though; how was she going to approach Kate? It needed to be done…it had to be done; she just wasn't sure how to do it in a way to make sure she didn't spend half the time trying to convince her that she wasn't some delusion. There hadn't been any qualms about approaching Johanna that first time. Sarah hadn't doubted for a moment that Johanna would accept her; her granddaughter was a believer; she didn't need explicit truth to believe in something beyond her comprehension.

Kate, however…well she had dipped her toe a little too far into Elizabeth Beckett's gene pool on that matter. She was just a little too much like her paternal grandmother for her own good. Of course it was safe to say that Elizabeth was a believer now, Sarah thought with a wry smile. She really was quite funny today, she mused; it was really a shame to waste her good humor like this when she could be off somewhere good naturedly tormenting one of her grandchildren…or even the spouse of a grandchild…like Jim. Jim was so much fun. But instead of having a little fun, she had to stand in a police precinct…and really that wasn't a place she liked to be, but since that was where her great granddaughter was, she had decided to do her contemplation there.

If there was one thing that Sarah knew for sure it was that Kate Beckett was yet another one of her relatives who couldn't let go of anything. On one hand it was a good trait; after all it had helped bring Johanna home where she belonged. On the other hand it wasn't a good thing at all; her grudges, hang ups and walls forced some people to act with caution around her. Case in point was that silly deal she and Johanna seemed to have to be around each other as little as possible from early November until January. That just wasn't right…it just couldn't be allowed.

Sarah continued to study Kate, her gaze finally being felt as she realized her great granddaughter had picked up on the sensation…it had taken her long enough, she mused.

Kate looked around subtly; her gaze flicking to Castle first but he was engrossed in something on his phone and there didn't appear to be anyone else nearby who was watching her. She figured she must have imagined the sensation of being watched but then the flash of green silk caught her eye and she glanced up once more; doing a double take as she suddenly caught sight of a woman who hadn't been standing in the center of the floor a moment ago. The dark haired stranger seemed oddly familiar and she kept her gaze pinned on her, watching a small smile play across the woman's lips. She didn't return the gesture, a feeling of apprehension spreading through her body as she waited for the woman to come closer…but she remained in place; her gaze never wavering, the smile staying in place.

She allowed her gaze to sweep across the room, checking to see if someone was helping the lady or keeping an eye on her but it didn't appear as if anyone was…she wasn't even sure if anyone was aware of her presence. Kate's brow furrowed as she continued to regard the stranger, pegging her as an oddball in her old fashioned dress and shoes, that small silly smile on her lips. As if the woman knew what Kate had thought, her expression changed, a flicker of offense flashing in her eyes as her brow arched and her chin jutted up an inch reminding her of her mother when she was in a mood.

At the thought of Johanna, Kate realized that the stranger bore a resemblance to her with her dark hair and the set of her cheekbones. The eye color was indistinguishable from the distance but she couldn't help wondering if they were green. It wasn't her mother though; the nose was all wrong, the shape of the mouth not quite right. The stranger's skin was too pale and colorless. She was an inch or two shorter; the dress too out of style for Johanna's taste and the fingernails unpainted. She carried no purse and wore no coat; things her mother wouldn't leave home without especially in the cold month of December. Why didn't this stranger have a coat or a handbag?

Something wasn't right, Kate surmised and she rose from her chair to go ask the woman to state her business…but before she could take a step, the woman in green silk disappeared. She blinked; her eyes must be playing tricks on her but as she looked to that same spot again, she saw no sign of the stranger…not indication that she had been there at all. A gust of cool air wooshed past her and she shivered, her gaze still searching the room for mystery woman…but she wasn't to be found.

"Kate?" Castle said from his place beside her desk. "Are you okay?"

"Did you see that woman?" she asked.

"What woman?"

"The one in the green dress," she answered as she continued to scan the room. "She was standing there just a moment ago and now she's gone."

Castle shook his head. "I didn't see anyone; where did she go?"

"I don't know; it was like she disappeared into thin air," Kate replied as she retook her seat. "It was weird."

His eyes sparkled with humor as he met her gaze. "Maybe it was a ghost."

Kate rolled her eyes. "It wasn't a ghost, Castle."

"How else could she disappear then?" he asked. "You said she vanished into thin air."

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation."

"Okay; what is it?" he asked; doing his best to give her a serious look but failing miserably.

She frowned. "She must've run."

"She ran and yet you didn't catch her direction? If she was standing in the space you indicated; it's not like she had a short sprint to the elevator or the stairs," Castle remarked. "It's not crowded in here; you would've seen her."

"It wasn't a ghost, Castle."

"What did she look like?" he asked.

She smirked at him. "If you're waiting on me to tell you that she was glowing and transparent, you're going to be disappointed."

"Shame on you, Beckett; you're stereotyping ghosts," he quipped. "They're not all like that, you know."

Kate rolled her eyes. "There aren't any ghosts."

"Then where's the woman in green…who you still haven't told me what she looks like."

"I don't know where she is and as for what she looks like; oddly enough, she kind of resembles my mom."

"Maybe Johanna hired a look-a-like to play a trick on you," he said with a laugh.

"I highly doubt that; she has hobbies now; she has no need to play with me," Kate replied. "She has her yoga classes and girls days with Maggie and shopping with Aunt Valerie; she has Dad and let's not forget her pride and joy, Scarlett."

Castle laughed. "It's cute how you're jealous of a cat."

"I'm not jealous of the cat," she said sharply. "I just think it's silly how she acts like it's her kid or something. That damn cat thinks she's her mother."

"You're jealous."

"I'm not."

"You are…you've been an only child so long that having a baby sister is just a hard adjustment for you to make," he laughed.

"That furball isn't my sister."

"You better be careful; Johanna might not like you referring to her baby as a furball."

"She doesn't like it…I know it for a fact."

Castle tsked at her. "You don't want to share your mommy with a cat; Beckett this was so unexpected of you. You thought the cat was a good idea when Jim first got it for her."

"I know…but still…"

He chuckled quietly. "You wanted her to get hobbies and find friends and leave you alone."

"I didn't ask her to leave me alone."

"If I recall correctly; you pretty much did," he reminded her.

Kate glanced down at her paperwork; the memory of last Christmas slamming into her. It hadn't been her finest hour that was for sure…it had been a turning point in a lot of ways; not just for her mother's attitude but their relationship in general. For the most part she could ignore the small wall that remained between them…sometimes, like at this time of year, she even welcomed the sanctuary it provided; sparring them the process of faking their way through celebrations of holidays and birthdays.

"I didn't mean it the way she took it."

"Well, you know how your mother is…that was to be expected, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess," she said, the back of her neck tingling as if she was being watched again. She glanced around but didn't see the mysterious woman in green lurking anywhere.

"You know; you can invite them over for Christmas," Castle remarked. "Just because you want to be a part of our traditions doesn't mean that you can't share the holiday with your parents. They're more than welcome to come over."

"I know that, Castle; and you know what the answer would be. It would be the same answer they gave last year at Thanksgiving; 'you all come here, I'll cook a nice meal."

"Maybe they'd surprise you."

She shook her head. "You know that my mother and I have pretty much made a deal not to celebrate Christmas together. Last year was a disaster and neither one of us wants to do it again. We don't do holidays. I don't even know what she and Dad are going to do because she's pretty much outlawed Christmas anyway after last year's debacle and he's not going to mind that at all. I haven't even talked to her in several days."

"What about your dad?"

"I talked to him a few days ago but he didn't mention the holiday and neither did I."

"Maybe you should mention it," he suggested.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because we decided not to have holidays together; you know that."

"I don't think it's something Johanna really wanted to agree to," Castle said gently. "I think she got hurt and she made this agreement because she thought it was what you wanted and what was best for you."

"I know I hurt her last year; it wasn't something I wanted to do…I didn't even see that happening…I just didn't count on her running into Martha."

"If Mother had known that your holiday plans were secret; she wouldn't have said anything," he replied.

"I know," she murmured.

"She felt bad for it."

"It wasn't her fault," Kate replied. "I told her that…but you know, it's another reason why it's best not to do combined holidays…when they first met it seemed like Mom and Martha were going to be the best of friends and then it turned out that they don't exactly mesh all that well."

"Oh I think they could be good friends again; I know Mother is open to it; it's just that Johanna seems to keep her guard up when they're near each other."

"Maybe they're just too different…maybe it took a little time to surface."

Castle shook his head. "No; it's that Johanna thinks my mother has taken her place in your life; which we all know is ridiculous…and my mother perhaps unwisely told her to her face."

"Yeah," Kate said with a nod; "That wasn't the best move…they're never going to be as chummy as they could have been. Mom's got Maggie to be her best friend; she's content. I guess it's like old times; Dad and Jeff have always been best friends; Mom and Maggie were always close and now they have their little group back together and they seem to stay in it."

"The same could be said for us and our circle of friends," he replied.

"I know; I just…I don't know; she exasperates me sometimes."

"She probably says the same thing about you," he laughed.

"No doubt about it," she smiled; her eyes scanning the room again as she couldn't shake the feeling of someone's eyes being upon her. "Is someone watching me?" she asked Castle.

Her fiancé looked around the room, taking note of every person who came into his line of vision. "No; I don't see anyone watching you…it's probably the ghost."

"There's no ghost, Castle."

"I'm thinking that there almost has to be…you feel like someone is watching you and yet we can't see that person. The mystery lady in green disappeared into thin air without a word…these are all very ghostly things, Beckett."

She rolled her eyes. "Well if it is, why don't they come bother you? I'm sure you'd enjoy it."

"I'd love it," he replied with a grin.

"Oh I know; Nikki Heat would be haunted in your next book."

"That's not a bad idea…I could do a Christmas ghost theme like Dickens…I like it," Castle said as he pondered the idea. "Perhaps I could work on a short e-book type of thing to be released in time for Christmas."

"With the way you procrastinate? Maybe next Christmas," Kate quipped.

He smirked at her. "Funny lady. But anyway; getting back to what we were talking about…we're going to have to tackle family holidays at some point."

"At some point, most likely," she agreed; "But not this year…this year we can just let things alone. They can do their thing or whatever is going to become their new thing and we can do our thing and we'll all be stress free."

"There's still time if you want to change your mind."

"I'm not going to change my mind, Castle."

Cool air rustled her papers and she zipped her jacket against the chill. "It seems drafty in here today," she commented.

"It does…funny how it's suddenly gotten drafty since the mysterious lady in green made an appearance."

Kate eyed him. "It's an old building; buildings get drafty."

"Perhaps," he said in amusement; "And perhaps it's something else…or someone else."

"Who would be haunting me?" she asked. "I don't think I have any relatives carrying a grudge."

"But can you be sure?" Castle teased.

"I'm pretty sure."

Out of nowhere, Kate's phone began to play music; the song 'I'll Be Home for Christmas' the whole incident catching her off guard as she hurried to silence the device.

"I didn't know you had Christmas music on your phone," Castle remarked.

"I don't," she replied as she checked the phone; trying to figure out what had made it play and where the song had come from.

"Then how did that song end up playing on your phone?"

"I don't know…I'm not seeing any sign of it on here," she said as she checked apps and playlists.

Castle smiled. "You know what that means; don't you?"

"If you say it's a ghost; I'm rethinking our engagement," she stated.

"Then you're leaving me no choice but to say…"

"Don't say Apparition American either," Kate replied. "Just don't…it's not a ghost; the building is drafty, the phone had some sort of glitch and I'm sure there's a logical explanation for the lady in green."

"Right," he said with a nod; "Like the fact that she might be a ghost."

"Okay, I'm done with this conversation," she said as she rose from her chair. "I'm going to file these papers and then I'm going to have the security footage sent to my computer so I can prove to you that there's no ghost."

Castle smiled. "What happens if I'm right?"

"You're not; trust me," she told him as she walked away; the mysterious woman in green hiding in the shadows as she passed by but not visible to her eye.

"I'll make a believer out of you, Katie Beckett," Sarah said with a smile. "You just wait and see…you're not only going to believe, you're going to learn and listen."


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews as always! Sorry for the delay as well!_

Chapter 8- Unnerved

A slow day and Beckett's sudden request for the security camera footage for the bullpen meant that she not only had Castle anxiously hovering at her desk but Ryan and Esposito as well. She rolled her eyes as the men continued to debate the existence of ghosts and cleared her throat loudly. "Guys; are we going to watch the tape or are you going to continue your little debate you have going on?"

"We're ready," Castle replied; "Show us the ghost."

"She's not a ghost, Castle," Kate stated as she punched the keys, setting the tape a few minutes before the mystery woman had been spotted.

"Then what is she?" he asked flippantly.

"A person," she said as she eyed him. "A regular person with an outdated sense of style."

A cold gust of air blew through the room making her shiver. "I guess you still believe that's a draft too, right?" Castle asked.

"What else would it be?"

"A ghost who takes offense to your mockery of her style."

"It's a draft," Kate remarked; "Isn't it guys?"

"It's never been drafty in here before," Ryan answered, glancing at his partner to gauge his opinion.

"I'm going to have to agree with that," Esposito replied; "I've never known it to be drafty in here before."

"Whatever, guys," she said with exasperation, her eyes flicking to the screen to see if the woman had appeared yet.

"Do you know what would be cool?" Castle pondered aloud.

"I don't want to know," Kate replied.

"Wouldn't it be cool," he went on; "If the ghost is one of the victims from a cold case and she's come to help us solve her own case!?"

"Really?" Kate said; her brow arched as she glanced up at him. "Some ghost just suddenly decides to pop in and says 'hey, I want to help you solve my case?"

"Why not?"

"If she wanted her case solved; why wouldn't she have come around sooner? Her clothes aren't exactly modern…why wait several decades?"

Her fiancé smiled. "She was waiting for the right team; she was waiting for us."

"Sure she was, Castle," she quipped before glancing to Ryan and Esposito. "Are you guys buying that one?"

Ryan shrugged. "I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility."

She rolled her eyes. "I should've known you'd jump on Castle's bandwagon, Ryan. What about you, Espo? Do you think this woman is going to be the ghost of a cold case crime?"

Esposito scoffed. "Of course not."

"You don't think it's possible that the vanishing woman in green is a ghost looking for justice? Or even a ghost at all?" Castle asked.

"I didn't necessarily say that…I said she's not a cold case victim; I mean what Beckett says makes sense; why would she wait? If…and it's a big if, she's a ghost then I'd say she's here for something else."

"Like what?" Castle asked. "Why would a ghost decide to haunt a precinct?"

"You're the writer, you tell me," Esposito responded. "Maybe she's got personal reasons. Maybe there's someone in here she wants to haunt…like Ryan. He seems hauntable."

Ryan shook his head. "I don't have any dead people with an axe to grind…it's probably Castle."

"Or it could be Beckett," Castle replied; "Maybe she has a disgruntled ancestor."

Esposito nodded. "I could see that happening…more plausible than the cold case victim."

"Alright guys that's enough," Kate replied as she looked at the group.

"There she is," Ryan exclaimed as he pointed at the screen; drawing their attention back to the footage that was playing.

"That's her," Kate confirmed as she looked at the image; "I'm going to take it back a few seconds so we can see where she came from.

She backed up the recording a few seconds and when she no longer saw the woman on the screen she stopped and hit play. They all watched quietly as the figure in the green dress seemed to materialize from thin air.

"I told you it was a ghost," Castle whispered, undertones of excitement dripping from his voice.

"It's not a ghost," she said firmly.

"She appeared out of thin air," he said, pointing at the screen; "We all saw it; Ryan, did you see it?"

"He's right, Beckett; she just appeared," Ryan replied.

Kate said nothing as she took the tape back and watched the scene again…and then for a third time, instructing each of her colleagues to watch a different area of the screen to see if the woman appeared elsewhere.

"Definitely a ghost," Castle stated. "She definitely appeared out of thin air."

"People don't appear out of thin air, Castle," she remarked with exasperation. "There's probably a glitch in the tape; we'll watch and see where she goes when she left."

Kate allowed the scene to play through this time, the silence of her companions slightly unnerving her as they all waited with bated breath to see what would become of the mystery woman on the screen who so far was remaining in place, watching someone, a small smile playing on her lips at times. Soon enough the moment came on the film where Kate had rose from her chair to approach the woman and she seemingly vanished into thin air in the same way she had appeared.

"I don't want to sound like a broken record; but it's definitely a ghost," Castle said once more. "That's not a glitch."

Kate re-watched the scene again; annoyance flicking within her as the woman did indeed appear to vanish into thin air. "It has to be a glitch in the system," she remarked.

"A glitch?" Castle repeated; "A glitch that just conveniently happens when the woman appears and when she disappears…I think not."

"You're free to think what you want but I'm telling that it has to be a glitch," Kate said firmly. "People don't just vanish into thin air."

"People don't," Castle said; "But ghosts do."

"It's not a ghost!" she exclaimed in a hushed voice.

"I don't know, Beckett," Ryan said, his eyes still on the screen; "You have to admit, it does kind of seem ghost like."

"If she was a ghost how would she be on tape? We've all seen paranormal shows; aren't they usually orbs on film?" she asked.

"Not always," Castle replied; "People have actually caught ghosts on film just like this one…Google it; you'll see pictures and videos."

"All easily tampered with," Kate remarked.

"Who says they've all been tampered with?" he asked; "This tape hasn't been tampered with and there's clearly a…"

"Don't say it," she said firmly.

"Then you're leaving me no choice again but to say there's an apparition American on it," he replied.

Kate glanced at Esposito, hoping to find a voice of reason. "Castle's right," Esposito said, dashing her hopes. "I've seen shows where the ghost has clearly been caught on camera or in a picture…I guess it depends on what kind of ghost it is."

'What do you mean what kind of ghost it is?" she asked in exasperation.

He shrugged. "Some ghosts are orbs; some look like regular people…I don't know; I have heard of it happening though."

"So you're joining Scooby and Shaggy and saying this is a ghost?"

Esposito smiled. "I'm saying it might be time to think about changing your name to Daphne."

"Can I drive the Mystery Machine?" Castle asked.

"No," Kate said sharply. "There's no ghost and no mystery to solve. It was probably some nut who stumbled in here and realized where she was and decided she better get the hell out of here."

"Then why isn't her arrival or exit on the tape?" Ryan asked.

"I told you, there's a glitch."

"The tape doesn't seem glitchy to me," Esposito replied. "I think you're just afraid that she's here to haunt you…who did you piss off, Beckett?" he teased.

Beckett glared at him. "No one…if there's any justice in the world or whatever realm she supposedly came from; she's here for the three of you; but she's not a ghost, I'm sure of it."

"Everyone who thinks it's a ghost, raise your hand," Castle said.

The three men raised their hands. "Three to one, Beckett," Castle said; "It's a ghost."

She blew out a breath of exasperation. "Ryan; go have the footage for every exit to this floor pulled…I want the footage of the entrance of the building too; we're going to find the woman in green on it, I guarantee it."

"Okay," he replied; "But what if we don't?"

"We will," she said with conviction; an odd feeling fluttering in her stomach that she was desperate to ignore. "We'll find her…there's a logical explanation for all of this."

* * *

Two hours later, Kate was running low on logical explanations. The security footage retrieved from the other cameras yielded no sight of the woman who had appeared on the first tape. It didn't make any sense; she had to have gotten in and out of the building somehow...there had to be an answer, she thought to herself, feeling slightly uneasy that she had seemed to be the woman's target for whatever she had been there for.

'Well?" Castle said; his tone gloating; "We didn't find her."

"I'm aware of that, Castle," she replied. "But I'm sure there's still a logical explanation."

"All the cameras glitched at the same time?" Ryan quipped; a grin playing on his lips.

"Maybe they did," she retorted sharply. "Can you prove they didn't?"

"No but it doesn't seem plausible."

"Yeah well it seems plausible to me that there was either a glitch or someone has been tampering with the cameras," she remarked.

Esposito eyed her. "Why would someone take the trouble of tampering with the cameras just to come in here and stand and do nothing? That doesn't make any sense."

"Since when does anything ever make sense?" Kate asked; "This is New York; people do stupid things all the time for no reason; we all know that."

"Yeah but this…this just seems different," Esposito replied. "Maybe she really is a ghost; stranger things have happened."

"Not to me," she remarked; "She's not a ghost."

"Kate," Castle said with a grin; "Just admit defeat, come over to our side and admit it was a ghost; you'll feel a lot better."

"No, I won't. You know it's been a slow week around here; how do I know the three of you haven't staged this as some sort of joke?"

"We didn't stage this!" Esposito exclaimed; "And if we did; we wouldn't do it here where Gates could come back early and chew our asses out."

"Yeah," Ryan agreed; "And besides; I don't think we'd even know how to pull off something like that…how would we make her disappear before your eyes?"

"Maybe you hired some sort of illusionist," Kate remarked.

Ryan laughed. "Right, who's paying that bill?"

Her gaze slid to Castle. "Don't look at me," he exclaimed; "I didn't set this up; I didn't pay for any illusionist; why would I do that?"

"Because you're bored and it's the kind of thing you'd like," she replied; "And Ryan and Esposito would be all for it."

"Kate; we didn't set this up," Castle said seriously. "If we were going to pull a prank on you, we'd do it elsewhere, not here."

She hated that they all looked so honest about the whole thing; it would be much easier if they looked guilty and she could chalk this all up to a prank. "Fine; you didn't do it…but there's still an explanation."

"Yes; we keep telling you the explanation," he replied; "She's a…"

"Shut up!" she exclaimed.

"You're a little touchy today, Beckett," Ryan remarked; "You don't have a ghost at home too, do you?"

"No; but there might be some here in the precinct if you three don't knock it off."

"Hey don't get mad at as because mystery woman showed up and scared you," Esposito teased. "Well protect you…unless she gets too angry then you're on your own."

Kate rolled her eyes and turned attention back to her computer, replaying pieces of security footage; her attention always coming back to the one that the woman appeared on. The men continued to prattle on about reasons for the ghost's visit and she began to feel more and more uneasy every time she replayed the tape.

The amused voices around her and the odd chill that kept wrapping around her made her aggravated; she hated not having an answer to something. She hated when she couldn't easily explain things away. She didn't like this…she didn't like it at all. She clicked off the footage, tired of watching it…the ongoing discussion of ghosts from the men behind her grating on her nerves and she had enough. She shoved her chair back and got up.

"Where are you going?" Castle asked as she shoved her phone in her pocket.

"To the bathroom," she replied; figuring it was the one place she could get away from them.

"Let us know if there are any ghosts in the ladies room," Esposito remarked.

She didn't bother to respond to the remark; merely walked away with a heavy sigh, her eyes taking in every inch of the room to see if the woman was hidden in a corner…she wasn't…and she wasn't sure if she should be relieved or concerned.

* * *

Kate casually made her way down the hallway; the sound of her heels against the floor filling her ears as she tried to shake off the unease that the security camera film had produced. It wasn't really a ghost like the guys thought…it couldn't be; could it?

"It scares you, doesn't it?" a woman's voice murmured from behind her.

Kate whirled around to confront whoever had snuck up on her but there was no one there; the hallway was empty…nowhere for someone to hide…there hadn't been any sound of footsteps hurrying away. A shiver slid down her spine as she tried desperately to convince herself that she had imagined the voice; that there was a logical explanation for the woman's appearance and disappearance on the film.

After doing one last scan of the hallway in both directions, Kate began to continue on toward the bathroom; telling herself that Castle had just gotten into her head with his fascination with ghosts.

"Don't be afraid of the unexplainable," the voice whispered again. "Ours is not to question why."

She could feel goosebumps forming on her arms, the sudden chill in the air as she once again turned and looked around, seeing no one. Her hand fell to her gun as her eyes scanned every inch of the area.

Soft laughter floated in the air. "Don't be silly; you don't need a gun."

"Who's there?" Kate asked; her voice coming out soft and strained instead of strong and firm like she had planned.

She received no answer; no one was around, there was no sighting of a mysterious woman in old fashioned green silk. She began to walk again, grateful that none of her colleagues were around to witness what had to be some kind of breakdown or hallucination that she was currently dealing with. Too many of Castle's ghost stories were surely to blame…maybe she was stressed too and hadn't realized it. There were logical explanations for all of it, she was sure of it…there had to be a logical explanation, she kept repeating to herself as she finally reached the bathroom door.

"Call your mother, she misses you," the voice whispered once more.

The comment startled her as her gaze darted around once more, a knot forming in her stomach. What the hell was going on? Was this some kind of inner voice like her conscience? Why was her mother suddenly brought up? A knot formed in her stomach and she pushed open the ladies room door and hurried inside; hoping that soft voice that had plagued her the whole way down the hallway wouldn't follow her inside.

Kate searched the bathroom to ensure she was alone and then she drifted to the sinks and glanced in the mirror. She didn't like what she saw in her reflection…unease; worry…a hint of fear now that her mother had been pushed into her mind. She didn't like her features to showcase her unease and worry…liked the fear even less. Her hand trembled a bit as she reached into her pocket and took out her phone, her finger hovering over the screen as she debated making the call. Finally she gave in and woke up her phone…and a moment later she put it to her ear and listened to Johanna Beckett's line ring.

"Hello," Johanna said as she answered on the third ring.

"Hey," Kate replied.

"Is something wrong?" her mother asked.

"No; I just…," she started to say before trailing off and changing course. "Were you around the precinct today?"

"No, why?"

"I caught sight of someone who resembled you but before I could get to her she was gone; I thought maybe you stopped by for something and changed your mind at the last minute for some reason."

"No," Johanna replied; "I've been home all day. I've been working on some things your father gave me for that case he's been helping Zach with…I kind of think he's itching a little to go into the courtroom with Zach as second chair."

"Well he could," Kate said; "His license to practice is still current; that's mandatory in this state."

"I know; I might have to put a little bug in Zach's ear."

Kate was quiet for a moment. "You're sure you've been home all day?"

"Yes, Katie; I've been working on this file since nine this morning. If I was going to stop by the precinct I'd call first…I learned my lesson about dropping by unannounced."

She cringed a little, recalling her birthday the year before when her mother had dropped by the precinct without warning…gift in hand, proclaiming it was the only way since she had been turned down not only for lunch but a breakfast invitation as well. She hadn't been pleased with her mother's appearance that day; nor had she been happy with the gossipy comments that had been made about the visit. She was afraid that she had made her distaste about unannounced visits abundantly clear…her mother hadn't shown up without an express invitation since then…in fact; she didn't even come to visit her unless she called before leaving the house and texted once she was in front of the building to make sure it was still fine to come by; and it suddenly dawned on her that her mother didn't visit all that much at all.

"Katie; you still there?" Johanna asked; her voice breaking into Kate's thoughts.

She shook her head, shaking away the unpleasant things she had been thinking. "Yeah; sorry; I got distracted. I just thought maybe it was you…it would've been okay if it was, you know."

"I'd call first unless it was an emergency and then you'd know I was there because I'd make myself known," her mother replied.

"Nothing's wrong?"

"No; everything's fine…the doors are locked, I checked both after your father left for work. I was in the office for awhile but then I moved into the kitchen so I could turn on the TV for some background noise. No one's been around; no one's called except for Jim to let me know he got to work safely. Scarlett's asleep by my feet."

Kate rolled her eyes at the mention of the cat. "How is the little fur ball?"

"I don't like the way you say that, Katie."

"It's just a joke, Mom."

"No it's not; you don't like her and she knows it; that's why she won't let you pet her much when you visit. She knows you're just trying to make it look good."

"I like Scarlett just fine," she replied. "She's the one with a problem; she thinks you're her mommy and she doesn't want me around you…because she doesn't get that you were my mother first and you always will be."

"Oh my God, your father's right, you are jealous of her."

"I am not jealous of a damn cat!"

"If you say so," Johanna replied, a touch of lightness in her tone.

"I'm not."

"Okay, you're not," her mother remarked; "Now what's going on with you today? Is something wrong on your end?"

Kate sighed and raked her hand through her hair. "No; nothing's wrong."

"I'm not trying to start anything but you kind of seem like something is wrong."

"I'm just…out of sorts today," she replied; figuring it was the best answer she could come up with at the moment. "It's been a slow week and people are annoying me."

Her mother laughed softly. "Well don't worry I didn't make any special trip to join the club of people annoying you."

"I'd rather it be you," she admitted. "At least you're reasonable…most of the time."

"Well, sweetheart I try to be as reasonable as I can for you. Who's bothering you today? It isn't Rick is it?"

"He's done his share of annoying for the day."

"I see…send him home."

"I can't do that."

"Why not? When your father annoys me I send him out to play with Jeff."

Kate laughed a little. "I have known you to do that…and he always goes."

"He knows it's better that way…too much annoyance could lead to him sleeping alone and he doesn't like that."

"The send them away plan has its merits," she agreed; "But what do I do about Ryan and Esposito…they work here."

"That one is a little harder to solve…I guess you could find some task that requires them to relocate to a different part of the building."

"We're kind of lacking on tasks at the moment besides paperwork."

"Well…then I guess you could threaten them with bodily harm."

"They never seem to take that threat seriously; maybe I'll just take the rest of the day off," Kate remarked; the idea appealing. She could always do her paperwork at home.

"You could do that; it's a little after two now; it's not like you'd be cutting out too early."

"Maybe I will; maybe my mind will settle down."

"What's on your mind that's got you out of sorts, Katie?"

"I don't really have an exact thing," she replied; "It's just stupid little annoying things…you know how sometimes they just add up all of a sudden and drive you crazy?"

"Yeah," Johanna replied; "That's called PMS; take the rest of the day off, go home, count your days; I guarantee you that's the culprit."

"That does sound logical," Kate agreed, perking up a little at the thought; "And hormones do affect us oddly sometimes, don't they?"

"Yeah; they do; they're a pain in the ass…especially when people are adding to the problem. Get some rest, eat some ice cream, watch TV; tell Rick you need a little time to yourself; you'll feel a little better in the morning."

She nodded even though her mother couldn't see the gesture. "I think I will…I might have a burger and fries before the ice cream though; I am kind of hungry even though I ate lunch."

"See, definitely PMS; munchies are a part of that," Johanna laughed. "You need to eat and vegetate; let those hormones sort themselves out before you hurt someone."

"Good point," she agreed with a laugh. "I'm going to go pack up some work and head home to my place; Castle probably won't be happy but I think maybe I do need a night to myself right now."

"Take all of those you can get before you're married, Katie," her mother told her. "Trust me on that; no matter how much you love them, once in awhile when you're exasperated, you miss the days when you could just leave and go home to your own apartment."

"Let me guess, those are the days you send Dad out to play with Jeff."

"You're learning the ways of wives already, I'm so proud."

She smiled. "I had a good teacher."

"I just hope I haven't forgotten anything to warn you about," Johanna remarked.

"If you did, I'll be sure to let you know when the time comes. I'll let you get back to work now…call if you need me."

"Alright, Katie; you can call if you need me too…I'll be home until about six then your father and I are going out."

"Where are you going?"

"Were going out to dinner with Jeff and Maggie. I'll text you and let you know we got back alright."

"If you don't I'll text you later tonight to make sure," Kate replied. "Have fun."

"I always do. You have fun with your 'me' time and don't feel guilty for it."

"I won't," she murmured; pausing before adding, "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Katie," Johanna remarked. "Let me know you got home safely."

"I will," she promised before saying goodbye and ending the call. She put the phone back in her pocket; the knot in her stomach eased knowing that her mother was safely tucked away at home. She was glad that she had called and checked; glad that her mother had offered up an idea of why she was so out of sorts; a look at the calendar would probably confirm that she was the victim of out of whack impending period hormones; that was what was causing her to doubt her sanity, hearing that strange new inner voice pop up. She was just hormonal and in need of some alone time. She was fine; she'd leave early, take it easy as her mother suggested and by tomorrow she'd have a logical explanation for why the woman in green had appeared and disappeared the way she had. She'd be fine.

It was all very logical she thought to herself as she continued to stand at the sink…and yet the sound of her mother's voice had sent a longing coursing through her. They hadn't seen each other in a few weeks…and once November had set in their phone calls had gotten shorter and the time between them longer. There was an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach…one that made her want to go home; but not to her apartment, home to her mother; convince her to put away whatever it was she was working on and settle down in front of Temptation Lane with her. But she couldn't do that; not on a whim anyway. Her mother was busy with her work and soon she'd put it away so she could get ready for her evening out. She'd visit her another day. It was just that odd mood sweeping over her and making her want to go right that second.

"Damn hormones," Kate muttered as she pushed away from the sink; her mind made up to head home early.

As she pushed open the bathroom door, she thought she heard a soft giggle but she didn't see anyone around that might have made the noise. She shook her head; she definitely needed to go home.

In the hallway but unseen to Kate's eye; Sarah stood watching her, a smile on her lips and a gleam in her eye. "We're just getting started, darling; Ice cream and television won't cure you of me."


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews! Sorry for the delay as usual._

Chapter 9- Ponderings

Johanna was lounging on the couch, watching the latest episode of Temptation Lane when the room turned cold. "Not now, my show is on," she muttered.

"Is that any way to express happiness at the sight of me?" Sarah asked as she appeared in the chair.

"I'm never happy when my shows are being interrupted," Johanna replied.

"It isn't like you can't watch it again; you record it on that contraption hooked to the television."

"That's not the point."

"You'll get over it," Sarah remarked. "I do admit that I wish they had television in my day; I would've enjoyed it."

Johanna gave a nod as she sat up, thinking to herself that if Sarah hadn't caught pneumonia in 1928, she most likely would've lived to see television. "Not to sound like a smart ass but did you have radio?" she asked. "I know it's been a long time but I can't remember the exact year."

"Yes, we had radio," Sarah replied. "Radio began in 1920."

"So you would've been about twenty-five then."

"Yes; already married and mother of three. Frank was just an infant and Bridget hadn't come along yet."

Johanna smiled. "Wow; it's hard to think of Dad and radio being practically the same age."

Sarah giggled. "It is something to ponder, isn't it? But of course you're the same age as some of those shows you like to watch on television…and in some cases, older than some of them."

Johanna narrowed her eyes at the spirit. "Shut up, Sarah; you're older than movies…the ones with actual dialogue anyway."

Her grandmother returned her glare. "Don't you sass me, kitten. I'll have you know that I saw a talkie. It was The Jazz Singer."

"That was the very first one; congratulations."

"Well, don't you just think you're the bee's knees today?" Sarah retorted; her chin jutting up an inch in defiance.

Johanna laughed. "I do love your 1920s slang. What brings you by today? You haven't been around for about two days; I thought maybe you were out tormenting other grandchildren."

"I do fill my days," Sarah replied. "I stopped in today to see if you had put up that Christmas tree yet…and I'm disappointed to see that you haven't."

"I told you that it wasn't going to happen. I thought maybe that was why you hadn't come around; you had accepted my wishes and moved on. Surely you do have other grandchildren that you pick on, right?"

"Of course; I have several irons in the fire," the spirit stated; "But you're my favorite."

"Aren't I the lucky one," she quipped. "Those other irons you have in the fire…anyone I know?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Do you ever get tired of not telling me things?"

Sarah smiled. "No, kitten; it tickles me to annoy you a little. You get that look on your face and you look just like your daddy."

"I do not," Johanna retorted. "Be nice or leave."

"Oh I'm not leaving yet."

"Fine; tell me about your projects."

"I can't, dear," Sarah replied; thinking about how she had been annoying Kate on a daily basis in various different ways and how she had also popped into Jim's dreams the night before to give him a stern reminder that he was supposed to be helping her with her mission. That man was stubborn enough to make a saint swear…but then again so was her granddaughter so clearly they were made for each other.

"It's like you work for the CIA," Johanna commented.

Her grandmother smiled. "Oh I answer to a much higher power than that."

"I would imagine so," her granddaughter replied.

"You know why I'm here, Johanna."

She sighed; her gaze moving back to the television. "To beat a dead horse?"

"Darling; can't you understand why it's important for you to keep a love for Christmas?"

"No, Sarah; I don't understand. I don't have any feeling left for the holiday and I really wish you'd just let it rest."

"I know that you wish that but I can't…you've come so far, darling; I can't let you stall at the finish line."

"What are you talking about?"

"The healing process; you've gone through depression, sadness, relief, happiness, anger, rebellion, acceptance…you've made your peace with a lot of things; except for Katie…and except for Christmas."

Johanna blew out a breath. "I've made my peace with Katie and she's made her peace with me. From November to January we keep our distance and I let the ball in her court. If she calls, I answer; if she doesn't; I don't bother her. We're okay with that. I had to accept that things won't ever be perfect between us; we won't ever be as close as we once were. Once in awhile I get a taste of it and I cherish it but I make do with what I'm given and I don't complain."

"It doesn't bother you that you haven't spent a single holiday together since coming home?"

"It did for awhile," Johanna admitted; "But then I had to realize that the problem is mine, not hers. I have no right to ask her for her time on certain calendar days. Once I looked at it from a logical standpoint it was easier to accept and move on. I have Jim to celebrate special occasions with; I was celebrating with him long before Katie was ever thought about."

Sarah's brow rose. "So as long as you have Jim, you don't need your daughter?"

"Don't twist my words into something like that. I love my daughter; I need her…she's just not a person who likes to be needed and you have to adjust accordingly. I've made that adjustment and I'm fine. Let it be."

"I hate to see you settle for less than the best."

"It's not entirely up to me, Sarah. Katie is a grown woman; I can't force her to be my best friend…and besides; I already have two best friends, I'm not sure I can juggle a third."

Sarah smirked. "I'm sure Jim would understand if you took an hour away from him…after all, he doesn't mind when you go out with best friend number two."

"Yes; he is very tolerate of my time with Maggie…but of course a lot of times when I'm with Maggie; he's with his friends as well so it works out nicely."

Her grandmother sighed. "I just want you to be happy."

"You've been talking to my mother," Johanna laughed. "That was always her favorite line."

"I have spoken to your mother about you," Sarah remarked. "She's not happy about this 'no Christmas' business either."

She frowned. "Yeah, well, Christmas has never been the same without her…when she died, a part of everything that made Christmas special died with her. If she was still here with me, I'd make the effort for her…I'd be sitting in the pew with her at midnight mass and I'd help her cook the holiday meal and I'd do everything she wanted like I always did. If she was here, I'd try with everything I had in me, but she's not and no one else cares like she did. You know, it sounds terrible, but I'm glad she didn't die while I was in Wyoming because I wouldn't have been able to bear the thought that she died not knowing I was alive. I wish to God that she was still here…but I can't help but be grateful that she didn't have to go through what everyone else had to endure because I know it would've killed her and I would've had her death on my conscience with everything else…and that one probably would've done me in."

Sarah's dark brow rose. "No; it doesn't sound terrible; I understand your feelings…it's just something you've never allowed yourself to say in regard to your mother. You've said it about your father but never about Naomi…at least out loud."

Johanna shifted uncomfortably. "I don't like to say those things; I don't want anyone to think I'm glad she's gone because I'm not. I miss her every day and I need her as much as I ever did."

"I know, darling," Sarah murmured. "You don't have to fear unfair judgments from me; like I said, I understand what you're saying. But let's think about something, you said that if Naomi was here, you'd give the effort to celebrate Christmas for her sake."

"I would…but I don't think you can give her back to me, can you?"

"No…I wish I could. I'd give you everyone that you loved but I can't do that."

"I know," she whispered.

"But you also know that she's still with you; even if it isn't the same. You have gotten to talk to her…you got that hug you so desperately wanted, remember?"

"I remember…and I dream about her."

Sarah smiled. "See, she's always there…and being that you know she's there, you should also know that she still wants you to give the effort to celebrate a holiday that was always special in your family."

"I tried, Sarah. I tried so hard last year. I decorated and I baked all the things my mother and I always made and I bought gifts and tried to do all the things we always did…and I thought it was going okay despite a few grumblings from Jim that I overlooked as him just not being used to celebrating anymore. I guess I shouldn't have overlooked them…maybe if I hadn't, he wouldn't have had to worry about humoring me and pretending that he was enjoying things. Then Katie wouldn't have had to enlighten me about it…I guess those two spent a few lunch hours harping about me and my holiday madness," Johanna stated, her voice wobbling a little. "They couldn't tell me from the beginning, they couldn't just be honest…so Jim just played along and Katie lied and hid and then it all blew up and any little spark I was rebuilding died in the wake of the explosion. Katie and I fought and we didn't get past it for awhile. Jim and I fought all the way into the New Year. The disaster of last Christmas pushed over a domino…a huge domino."

"I know," the spirit replied; "But it wasn't a bad thing…that domino needed pushed and you came out of that wreckage stronger than ever."

Johanna nodded. "I came out better…but I lost the desire to have holidays and I'm just not motivated to change that."

"May I ask a hypothetical question?" Sarah asked.

"I'd hate to try and stop you," she quipped as she tried to bring her emotions back under control.

"We never got to spend a holiday together…at least not in the usual sense of the word," Sarah remarked.

"I know."

"Well, if I said that I could celebrate the holiday with you…in the traditional sense of the word; would you then make the effort?"

Puzzlement furrowed her brow. "What?"

Sarah smiled indulgently. "If I said that I was able to celebrate Christmas with you…in the non-spirit form, as a living being like you, would you make the effort to celebrate with me?"

"If I could have a celebration with you, in the normal sense of the word, of course I'd make the effort for you, Sarah. You're my grandmother, I love you…I would've loved to have Christmas and every other holiday with you, just as I enjoyed having them with Grandma Sophia while she was with us. But I'm sure you already know that so I don't really understand why you'd ask that as a hypothetical question."

"I have my reasons," she replied. "But let's get back to Naomi…if she were here, you'd make the effort…why is that?"

"Because she's my mother and she loved Christmas…she made everything special."

Sarah met her gaze. "She made everything special…or was she the one who made everything special for _you_?"

Johanna pondered that for a long moment. "I don't know how to answer that; Jim always makes things special for me so it doesn't really feel fair to give all the credit to Mom."

"You can say that Naomi was the one who made things special for Christmas; it doesn't take away from Jim. Naomi, as your mother, would give you a different type of holiday than Jim does or did…because the things that Naomi liked about Christmas are the things she instilled in you. The baking and midnight mass and the shopping, decorating…those are all things you did together from childhood clear up until Naomi passed. That's what made Christmas special to you; the time spent with loved ones. When Naomi was gone; you said you didn't want to have Christmas but that Jim helped you through it and so did Katie in little ways."

"That's true, but I also couldn't give it up completely because Katie was still a kid and I was responsible for giving her good holidays."

'Yes, I know…but once they got you through that first holiday without Naomi; they left you to your own devices with it, didn't they? Sure Katie helped you bake some cookies as always, but she was a teenager and more interested with being with her friends and going to holiday dances. Jim felt like you had worked through your grief and he settled back into his role of anticipating all the things you'd bake and moving the furniture when you were ready to put up the tree. They fell back into the background of Christmas…where Naomi was always there doing the same things you were; because even once you were married, you still did some holiday shopping together; you still went over and helped her decorate; you still helped her with holiday meals. She spent time in your home as well, pitching in wherever she could with your holiday preparations…because she wanted to be sure that your holiday was as good as you wanted everyone else's to be."

"What's your point?" Johanna asked.

Sarah gave her a sad smile. "My point is; no one has given any effort to make sure you have a happy Christmas since Naomi passed. Jim and Katie helped you through the first year; not so much to give you a happy holiday because they knew it wasn't possible…but merely to get you through it. You did a good job up until you had to leave and then you spent all of those Christmases alone…barren holidays; just you and a bottle of wine and memories. Then you came home, you made all the effort, and no one returned your effort, no one made Christmas special for you…no one allowed you to make it special for them. You were humored…you were shunned…and then you were hurt. Now you want to put it in a box and shove it in the attic with the ornaments you bought last year…the ones you bought so Jim and Katie wouldn't have to look at the old ones and think about bad memories of how the house was still decorated well past the new year when you had to leave them. You're right, you did try, you gave it your all and they slapped your face with it…and for once, you held them accountable for the multitude of hurt they caused you when it all blew up. That was part of that first domino…the one that needed pushed, the one that made you take control…that one that gave you back a sense of your true self and you ran with it and you haven't stopped. You blazed, just like Naomi always said you could and it was what we had all been waiting for, darling. But that doesn't mean that you need to give up on Christmas. Christmas didn't hurt you; the people around you hurt you. Blame them; don't blame Christmas. Don't throw away something was special to you just to suit Katie. You can find a way to make it work for you; I know you can…you just have to keep trying. Your happiness seems to hinge on making them happy…but darling; you also have to make yourself happy…maybe you most of all; because how can anyone you want to be happy be that way if you're not?"

"But they matter more," Johanna replied. "They're the only reason I hung on during those years and I swore to myself that if I ever made it back home, I'd spend the rest of my life making it up to them; making them happy any way I could. Christmas doesn't make them happy; I ruined that because I didn't get the damn decorations taken down before I had to leave…I just hadn't gotten around to it and then it was too late to do it, so they associate Christmas with my betrayal," she cried. "I can't make them see it any differently; believe me, I wish it was different but it isn't…and it's just a bad reminder for me too so we may as well carry on without it. I don't mind; really I don't."

"If I really believed that," Sarah remarked; "I'd let you be about it. But I don't believe it because I know you; I've known you since the day you were born. You miss the Christmases you used to have; you tried to recreate it and it didn't happen the way you planned. Maybe it can't ever be the same again; but you can tweak the plan, you can find joy in it if you just keep trying. You just need to find a reason…and the best reason is for yourself…but since you always like to put yourself last…in true Naomi McKenzie fashion, then I guess we'll have to find some other way to motivate you."

"What are you plotting, Sarah?"

"I can't tell you that."

"God, I hate when you say that!" she exclaimed in exasperation.

Sarah giggled. "I know; that's what makes it so much fun. See, I find ways to have joy."

"I bet you were a menace to society in your day," Johanna replied.

"I tried to be as often as possible."

"I have no problem believing that."

"You should also go ahead an accept that the belief that I will have my way; you will find Christmas joy again," her grandmother remarked.

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Sure, Sarah; whatever you say."

"Don't roll your eyes at me," the spirit said firmly.

"What are you going to do about it?"

Sarah's dark brow arched as she rose from the chair and moved toward the sofa.

"If you're trying to intimidate me with that look as you walk towards me, you're not. You just remind me of Dad with that look on your face and it makes me want to laugh," Johanna stated.

"Let's see if you laugh at this, kitten," Sarah remarked as she reached out and flicked Johanna in the forehead.

"Ow! That hurt more than it should have. It felt like static electricity."

"Poor baby," Sarah said with an exaggerated pout. "Maybe you'll learn to mind your manners."

'Who said I had any?"

Sarah flicked her again. "Ow!" she cried. "Stop it!"

"Say you're sorry."

"No."

Sarah poised her fingers to flick her again. "Johanna Elizabeth; this is your last warning."

"I'm sorry," Johanna stated; "You usually take a joke better."

"You weren't joking."

"I was."

"You weren't; I wasn't born yesterday."

Johanna smirked. "Oh I know; you were born 118 years ago."

Sarah glared at her and flicked her again.

"Damn it, Sarah; stop it! Where's my mother, can she flick you back for me?"

The spirit smiled. "I have it on good authority that your mother is currently laughing about the whole thing."

"Figures," Johanna muttered. "What about Dad?"

"He says it's what you get for running your mouth."

"That does sound like something he'd say."

"Trust me, it is."

"I'm sorry for stating your correct age," Johanna said with a sigh.

"That's more like it," Sarah quipped as she spotted Scarlett slinking into the room. Her eyes lit up. "Here, kitty, kitty," she cooed, taking something from the hidden pocket of her silk dress.

Scarlett crept forward warily, smelling the treat Sarah had in her hand. "That's it, come to Grandma," she told her. "Here, kitty, kitty."

"What do you have?" Johanna asked.

"A cat treat," Sarah replied as she leaned down and laid the treat on the floor a small distance from her.

"Where did you get a cat treat?" she questioned, watching as Scarlett sniffed the item and then deemed it worthy of her attention.

"At a pet store."

Johanna's eyes widened. "You popped into a pet store and picked up a cat treat?"

"Yes."

"And I'm assuming you didn't pay for it?"

"Well, darling, how could I?" Sarah asked.

"That's stealing! That's against the law!"

"It's alright, she ate the evidence," Sarah replied, watching as Scarlett chewed the up the treat.

"Sarah! Are you allowed to do that?"

"Within reason, yes; I can get little things I need. I want Scarlett to like me," she said as the cat sat down and looked at her, meowing imploringly for another treat. "I think it's working," she said as she laid down another treat."

"Great," Johanna said; "Not only do I have a ghost in my house; she's shoplifting treats for my cat."

Sarah smiled. "Don't worry; it's fine…I'm sure the treats will be replenished and no one will be the wiser."

"I'll take your word for it," Johanna remarked; wondering why her life always took these strange turns as she watched Scarlett eat the second treat.

* * *

"What's going on today, Dad?" Kate asked that afternoon as she sat a table at the diner with her father; a cup of coffee cradled in her hands.

"Why are you always so suspicious lately?" Jim asked. "We used to have lunch all the time without you thinking I had ulterior motives."

"I know…but that was before Mom came home. Ever since she's been home you usually do have some ulterior motive."

"I don't think I like the way you say that."

She shrugged. "Sorry but it's true."

"While I don't like the accusation that I always have an ulterior motive; there is something I'd like to talk to you about," Jim said; his fingers drumming softly on the table for a moment until he caught the gesture and stopped himself.

"I knew it; what is it?"

"I thought we should talk about Christmas," he replied.

His daughter stiffened slightly. "What about it?"

He met her eye. "We blew it last year…or at least you blew it and took me down with you."

"Don't blame me for your fight with Mom," Kate said as she gripped her cup. "All I did was tell her the truth; whatever happened after that is on you. You could've just told her that I was a liar instead of confirming what I said."

"You shouldn't have brought me into it in the first place," Jim stated. "Your fight with your mother should've stayed contained to the two of you; but you had to drag me into it as well and you had no business speaking for me."

"I've already had this lecture, Dad. Let's move on to the new one or whatever it is that you wanted me here for."

"It's not a lecture…I was just hoping to convince you to stop by for Christmas."

Kate shifted in her chair. "Dad…you know Mom and I made a deal. We agreed that there are certain things we need to avoid for the sake of our relationship and we decided that one of those things is the expectation that we owe each other our presence on holidays."

"That rule caters to you more than your mother."

"It's what's best for us."

He shook his head. "No, Katie; it's what's best for you."

"It's not my fault that Mom goes overboard and expects too much about things like this," Kate remarked. "You didn't want to put up with the holiday hoopla anymore than I do."

"I made some effort last year," Jim replied. "She would've never suspected that something was amiss if it hadn't been for you. You got caught in your lies and pissed because she didn't want to play your game and accept your pity gift when you dragged yourself over to do damage control after Martha spilled your beans. You hurt her, Katie. _You_ could've told her _your_ truth; it would've hurt less. But no; you had to lie, and you had to get caught lying and when she didn't just roll over and accept it, you had to hurt her. You hurt her deeply…and that led to me hurting her because you put me in that situation. She's been home for nearly two years and you haven't spent five minutes of a single holiday with her."

Annoyance flicked in her eyes. "You were invited to Rick's for Thanksgiving last year; you declined."

"Yeah; and that couldn't have been a shock to you, Katie. I spent too many years without her; I wasn't giving up spending that holiday with her in our own home, watching her do what she always did on Thanksgiving. You might think it's just a holiday of food to me but you're wrong. Thanksgiving is special to me because it's the first holiday your mother and I spent together as a couple; and it's the holiday that made me realize that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I bought her engagement ring the day after Thanksgiving in 1976…we had two Thanksgivings that year; the one that was a disaster, and the one we created together; and that's the one I think of every year. It's the reason that I can't give up being at home with her on that day, watching her do what she loves…doing the things we've been doing since that first Thanksgiving together. I won't give that up for you, Katie. It might sound cruel; but I won't…just like we invited you to join us for Thanksgiving; we told you that you could bring Rick, Martha and Alexis. You said no…"

"Our plans had already been made," Kate interrupted.

"So were ours; we had already invited other family; but you didn't let me finish," Jim said tartly. "We didn't hold it against you that you wanted to be with your boyfriend. In fact I very clearly remember your mother assuring you that there weren't any hard feelings about it; that she understood the desire to spend the holiday with the person you love. I also remember that she said she called dibbs for Christmas dinner with you because that was more important to her."

"I know, Dad," she said, rubbing her fingers against her forehead. "We've been over it about a thousand times."

"I'm aware of that," Jim replied. "I just thought that maybe since we both blew Christmas so badly last year; that we could both make an effort to make things better for her this year…that maybe you could consider spending a small portion of Christmas day with us. I'm not asking for the whole day; I'm not trying to take you away from your fiancé…just come over for an hour on Christmas."

"For what?" Kate asked. "Mom and I aren't exchanging gifts…and that will make things awkward when I had you a gift and not her…because she told me in no uncertain terms to never give her a gift again and that she would return the favor and not get me one."

"Again, that's your fault, Katie. You shunned her; you made that stupid 'don't buy me a gift this year, it's too much pressure, it feels like everyone is trying to buy each other off' rule. She didn't listen of course and bought you gifts…and you didn't want them; that hurt her feelings. You wanted her to accept that pity gift of yours though; and it pissed you off when she wouldn't but that's what you get. You shunned her and everything she was trying to do. You can only do that for so long before she reaches the end of her rope and puts a stop to it. Your grandfather always shunned her gifts and one Christmas she vowed that she had enough and that she wouldn't buy him a gift ever again. Frank told her he didn't want anything from her anyway….and she never bought him a gift after that."

"Grandpa got gifts from us," she replied.

Jim eyed her. "If you recall; I always took you out to pick out the presents for your grandfathers; I'd help you pick something for Frank and we'd take it home. Your mother would help you wrap it and on the tag it said 'from Katie'. Her name was never on it; she didn't shop for it; it was always handed to you to give to him. Now in the case of your grandmother; your mother helped you pick out something for her plus she bought her own gifts to give her and one from the both of us. She even bought my mother gifts; but she didn't buy for Frank…and last year, you treated her exactly like Frank McKenzie always did."

"Yeah; she mentioned that," Kate said as she squirmed beneath her father's gaze.

"I hope you didn't take it as a compliment."

"No; I figured from her tone and expression that it wasn't a compliment…but she blew it all out of proportion. I tried to apologize; she didn't want to hear it."

"Why should she? You never want to hear hers."

Kate smirked at him. "Oh I think I've forgiven a hell of a lot. I did forgive her for letting us think she was dead for thirteen years; I think that's a pretty big deal in the forgiveness department."

"Yeah; you say you forgive her…and yet anytime she does something you don't like; you go there…you throw that in her face. That's why she makes these stupid deals with you, Katie; and believe me, it is stupid although I understand her reason for doing it."

"If you understand it, why is it stupid?"

"Because on your mother's side of the deal is the desire to keep you in her life, even if she has to be distant during certain months of the year. On your end is just the excuse to push her away and hold the past over her head; you wield it like a battle flag, and when she steps out of the place you think she belongs in, you come charging down the field to wave it over her head. Well its time to put the flag away, Katie. It's time for you to pick up the ball for a change and make some effort."

"What do you want me to do, Dad?" she asked sharply. "I'm not a big fan of Christmas; and maybe my mother should ask herself what role she plays in that before thinking I should just come bake cookies and sing Christmas carols with her. Like you said before; I have my own family now and they want me to be apart of their traditions too…and you know what; making new memories and new traditions is a little more important to me and that doesn't mean I love her any less. You both had to know that the day would come when I wouldn't spend every holiday with you."

"Katie, if it was still just me, I wouldn't give a damn. I'm used to you not spending the holiday with me; and spare me the flag you wave over my head because that one is just as old as the one you wave over your mother. I'm doing this for her…because we let her down…she tries and she tries and we always find a way to let her down…and not only do we let her down; we always have a knack of somehow blaming her for it. Well, I'm going to take my blame for my portion of last year; I'd like for you to do the same."

"She kept pushing, Dad. I don't like to be pushed."

"Neither does she; that's why she shoved you into a corner for a change. Are you going to stick to this so called deal forever? We're never going to spend a portion of the holiday together?"

"I didn't say that."

"You haven't denied it either. What about one day when you have children, Katie?" Jim asked. "Are we not supposed to see our grandchildren on the holidays? Just buy a gift and mail it to them instead of having them come over like we always took you to your grandparents?"

"Let's cross the bridge when we get to it, Dad," she replied. "I'm sure that if there's a child involved we'll all find a way to make things work."

"Why can't we start now?"

"Because I don't see any point in it," Kate remarked. "It just feels like stirring up trouble…along with old hurts and bad feelings."

Jim gave a short nod; his daughter was immovable. "Alright; I guess your mother was right."

"About what; that I'm a horrible daughter?"

"No; we've never thought that. She told me there was no sense in us celebrating Christmas when we didn't have any family to share it with. Our parents are gone; our siblings have their own families; our daughter has her own family…so to speak. It's just us now."

"Are we entering the guilt trip phase of things?" Kate asked.

"No," he said with a small smile as he shook his head. "You asked what she was right about and I told you. She doesn't even want to be in town for the holiday; she wants to go away so she can forget it even exists…and maybe I'm wrong to deny her that."

"Where does she want to go?"

"To tell you the truth, Katie; she's willing to go anywhere as long as it's away from here."

Kate toyed with the edge of a napkin. "I guess you could always come over to Castle's if it's really that important to you…and her."

Jim smirked as he gave a shake of his head. "Wow; that was a warm welcoming invitation, Princess. I'm almost overwhelmed by it."

"I didn't mean it to sound the way it did," she said with exasperation. "I'm just saying that if it's such a big deal; then come over."

"That's okay," he replied; feeling as though they weren't really welcome and that she was only offering out of guilt. "We wouldn't want to intrude on your time with your _family_."

Kate frowned. "So what are you going to do?"

He sighed; knowing that the ghost that had been hounding them wouldn't be happy with what he felt had to be done. "I guess I'll take her somewhere; she's willing to settle for the cabin but maybe I should find somewhere warmer; I'd just have to find someone to take care of Scarlett; and don't worry, I won't ask you."

"I would take care of the little furball," she retorted.

"I believe you would but I'm not sure your mother would trust you with the job."

"Well that's probably true…she does hurry to scoop her away from my feet like I'd deliberately trample on her."

Jim smiled. "That's her baby; she has to protect her."

"I thought I was her baby."

"Technically you are…but let's face it, honey; you don't really let her do anything for you."

"And we're back to guilt."

"No guilt," Jim said as he took his wallet from his pocket and counted out some money. "We'll have Christmas without you…after all, we did it before you were born and those were very nice years."

"Gee, thanks," Kate quipped.

"Hey; I wasn't in a hurry to have kids; you're here because your mother wanted to celebrate missing my family reunion. The champagne didn't come with a label warning that consumption of the contents could lead to actions that resulted in pregnancy."

She smirked at him. "It's not the champagne's fault that you two didn't practice safe sex and got saddled with me."

"Hey, I didn't say we regretted it. Our only regret now that we're older is that we didn't have a second child…and really I only regret it because it's something my wife now wishes we had thought about when we were young enough to find out why another one didn't come along."

"I'm sure it wasn't from lack of effort," Kate remarked. "You've always been all over each other."

"Well if we had known how things would go, maybe we could've adopted and that child would've been grateful for the life we gave it and showed up for Christmas dinner once in awhile."

"Wow, really?"

He smiled. "Well, why do you think I got her a cat? She had to mother someone."

Emotion unexpectedly stung Kate's eyes. "Okay; that one kind of hurt, Dad."

Jim nodded. "Maybe now you know how your mother feels at times. I'll let you know when we make our official plans for the holidays in case you'd change your mind about coming around; and hey, it's okay if you don't. I can manage…I've had a lot of practice at making her happy all on my own. So you spend Christmas the way you want; I hope you enjoy it and that you make nice memories."

Kate felt chastened as her father laid down money on the table and rose from his seat. "I've got to be getting back; I have some things to take care of for this case I'm working on," he said as he paused by her side and pressed a kiss against her head. "I'm sorry if I upset you; and please don't call your mother and blame her; she doesn't know anything about this…and it better stay that way."

"I won't say a word," she murmured.

"Good girl. See you late, Katie. I love you, be careful."

"I love you too, Dad," she replied as her phone suddenly started playing music, making her sigh in frustration. "What the hell is wrong with this phone?!"

Jim's eyes widened slightly and he remained at her side. "Something wrong with your phone?" he asked.

"Yeah; for the last few days it just randomly plays music…music that isn't even on my phone. It's Christmas music."

"Really?" he said; hoping that he sounded surprised while we wondered if Sarah was spreading her torment further down the family tree.

"Yeah; it's bizarre. I took it to be checked and they acted like I was nuts. They said some guy came in last year with the same thing and they couldn't find anything wrong with his phone either."

"Huh," Jim remarked. "That is strange…maybe it's a ghost."

"Don't even go there," Kate replied. "I get enough of that from Castle."

"Stranger things have happened, Katie."

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation."

Jim pressed another kiss to the top of her head. "Not everything in life is neat and logical, Katie. Sometimes things are unexplainable…and sometimes you have to just have to let go of that need to make everything logical, to make everything perfectly aligned and distanced from things in the past that the you want to sweep under the rug. Sometimes you just have to let things happen without trying to keep control…without making it logical or justifiable to your very lofty standards. Sometimes things are just what they are, unexplainable and unperfect…and you might find that some of the things in that box are the best things of your life."

Kate looked at him with puzzlement. "What's the hidden meaning in that statement?"

Jim met her gaze. "Maybe it's time for you to open your mind a bit more…in all aspects of life."

She gave a humoring nod. "Okay, I'll give that some thought."

He sighed. "You're just like your mother…which is why you two clash at times but I know you don't want to hear that."

"You're right, I don't," Kate said as she got up from the table; "But I love you both anyway; even if you don't believe it."

"Oh I believe it; I just think sometimes you could stand to back it up with some evidence," Jim replied with a smile as they walked to the door.

Once they were outside, he walked her to her car and then headed for his; feeling like he had failed in his mission. He sighed as he settled into the driver's seat and started the car; the radio stations flipping wildly as he pulled into traffic. "I tried, Sarah."

"I know, dear," she replied as she materialized in the passenger seat. "You gave a very fine effort."

"It didn't do any good; I had a feeling it wouldn't but I do want it on record that I tried."

"I have duly noted it…she's a stubborn girl."

"Just like her mother."

"There is a strong resemblance…and not just the physical ones," Sarah remarked.

"You've got that right…although I'm starting to think she might have Johanna beat in the stubbornness department."

"Oh I'm not so sure about that; you just have a way with Johanna…you're able to mellow her stubbornness when it suits you. It's different with Katie; you're her parent and you're used to doling out the discipline…and now you don't have that option anymore."

"It is the downfall of having an adult daughter," he remarked.

"I can see that…but we'll keep working on it."

Jim grinned a little. "Are you toying with her phone?"

Sarah smiled. "Of course, dear; I told you I'd get around to her…and I'm not done with her by a long shot."

Jim laughed. "I have to admit; I'm glad to hear that."

"I won't let you down," the spirit quipped; "And in gratitude for you trying so valiantly to help with my mission today; I can assure you that your home will be free of my presence tonight."

"That's nice of you," he quipped.

"I think so too," Sarah remarked; "Besides; I have some thinking to do and I can't properly do that when I'm looking at all the gadgets in your house…smart telephones, those computer thingys, that contraption hooked to the television…how different the stove is from the one I owned. There are so many things to play with."

"I'm glad our gadgets can amuse you, Sarah."

"Cars are a lot different too," she remarked.

"Yeah; you don't have to get out and crank them now," he couldn't help but say with a laugh.

Sarah side eyed him. "Yes; you and Johanna were definitely made for each other. There's just no doubt about it."

Jim smiled. "I could've told you that…because there's never been a doubt in my mind about it."

The spirit smiled but said nothing; she had much work to do…but at least she felt like Jim had fully joined her team…and she had some semblance of an idea to help Johanna if things with Katie didn't get on track soon. Her great granddaughter was going to be a big problem…and she was sure it would give her the urge to flick that stubborn girl in the forehead a few times.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews; sorry for the delay as always._

Chapter 10- Stubborn

Johanna was at her desk, doing some work for Jim when she felt the temperature of the room dip. Scarlett gave a small meow from her place on the window sill. "I know," Johanna said; "We're going to have company."

She waited a few moments, watching the room for Sarah's appearance but nothing happened. "Sarah?" she called out.

"I'm here, dear," she said as she swept into the room from the hallway. "I was looking around."

"Oh?" Johanna asked as she pulled off her glasses. "Looking for something in particular?"

"Yes; I was looking for your Christmas tree but I see you haven't gotten around to putting it up yet."

"Nor will I."

Sarah waved a dismissive hand. "We'll get to that later."

"You have other business in mind?"

"No, not really. What are you doing today?"

"Just some work for Jim."

"Why don't you go to the office with him?" Sarah asked.

"Because we feel it's best for me to work at home," Johanna replied.

"Why?"

"You know why, Sarah. It took a lot for Jim to give in and share his work with me…but he still has fear and doesn't want me doing law work in a public setting. I respect that."

"I see," her grandmother said, her expression unreadable. "And what about that job at Columbia that you haven't told him about? When are you going to get around to that?"

Johanna frowned. "He doesn't need to know about it…I'm not taking it."

"Why ever not?" Sarah asked. "You like teaching, you're good at it…and you'll be safe, I assure you of that."

Her stomach tightened with nerves at the thought of going back to work. "I'm needed at home."

"For what?"

"For Jim and I've got Scarlett."

"Jim goes to work nearly every week day for at least part of the day. As for Scarlett; once you feed her, she's alright on her own for a few hours. You could take a part time position and just teach a couple morning classes and be home by afternoon. I think it would do you good, Josie…and I think you want it."

She shrugged. "I don't know…I'm not sure. I haven't worked in over a year…I'm kind of uneasy about starting over."

"That's to be expected."

"And I don't know how Jim would feel about it. I don't want him worrying constantly."

"Perhaps starting out, you could have him drive you to work and pick you up when you're finished…just until you both got used to it," the spirit suggested.

"I hadn't thought about that…he probably could make time to pick me up if the classes were timed right and I was able to leave around lunch time."

"Of course; and you know, Jim; he'd make sure he had the time...and if something came up, I'm sure he'd send someone reliable to get you."

"That's probably true," she murmured.

Sarah met her gaze. "Promise me you'll seriously consider that offer…don't say no because you're afraid. If you say no, although I hope you don't, have a good reason for it. But please, consider it."

Johanna nodded. "I promise."

"Good…and you'll tell Jim soon?"

She hesitated. "Maybe after Christmas."

"Very well, but you're cutting close. Aren't you supposed to notify them of your decision right after the New Year?"

"Yes…I'll tell him as soon as I decide how I feel about the offer. That's all I'm going to say about it right now."

"Alright, I suppose that's all I get out of you on that front today."

"It is," Johanna replied; "What else is on your agenda?"

"I have a Christmas present for you," Sarah said, a bright smile on her lips as she came closer to the desk.

Johanna's brow rose in suspicion. "A gift? What kind of gift? Another ghostly relative?"

"No, dear; it's much better and longer lasting," she said as she pulled a little box from the hidden pocket of her dress. She sat it down on the desk in front of Johanna and clapped her hands gleefully. "Look, darling; isn't it perfect?"

Johanna glanced down at the small box and saw that it was an ornament…more specifically a Hallmark ornament of Scarlett O'Hara in her green dress that she had made from the curtains in her family home. "Sarah," she said as she stared at the box. "Where did you get this?"

"At that cute little store that sells them," her grandmother replied. "It's Scarlett; the one you named the kitty after! Isn't she wonderful?"

"Yes; I do love these ornaments; but Sarah…you stole it."

The spirit shook her head. "No one will ever know it's missing, dear."

"Sarah; this is Hallmark! This is an expensive ornament, they cost between fifteen and twenty dollars; you can't just shoplift! It's against the law!"

Sarah scoffed. "It ought to be against the law to charge fifteen dollars for an ornament. That's a three dollar ornament at best; besides, like I said, no one will know about it. It's my Christmas gift to you…don't you like it?"

"Yes; I love it…but you stole it."

"I didn't steal it!"

"You didn't pay for it, did you?"

"Well of course not, how would I have any money to do that?"

"Sarah; I know there were laws in your time…laws against stealing."

"It's only stealing if you're still among the living," Sarah declared. "For me, it's a creative gathering of things I need to acquire at times…and I have permission to do so. That ornament and the kitty treats won't ever be missed, they'll be replaced…and besides, what could they do to me? It's not like they can put me in jail."

Johanna sighed. "It's still shoplifting."

"Only if you got caught…and believe me, if I got caught, I'd wait on the police to come just so I could watch their faces when the handcuffs won't go on…wouldn't that be hilarious?" she giggled.

"Oh yeah, a real riot," Johanna quipped.

Her grandmother smiled. "I just wanted to give you a little present…you will keep it, won't you?"

Johanna smiled as she opened the box. "Of course…I just hope I don't go to jail for receiving stolen property."

"Oh you won't, don't worry. No one will know that it was creatively collected."

She nodded. "That's a nice term for shoplifting."

"Oh hush, and open it so we can admire it!"

"Getting a little feisty, Sarah?" Johanna asked as she took the ornament from the box and unwrapped it.

"I just like to see people open the gifts I give them," the spirit remarked.

Johanna smiled as she held the figurine in her hand. "You know what I love about these Scarlett ornaments?" she asked.

"No, what?"

"I can sit them around as knick knacks. I did buy a few in Wyoming after the holiday seasons when the price was reduced. I'd love to sit them out but they might remind me of bad times."

"Maybe you should think of them as a reminder that you overcame those bad times…or maybe just merely think of them as little things you like to collect. You don't have to attach a stigma to them."

"I don't know if Jim would want them sitting out…I had them on my bookcase in Wyoming. Jim gave me last year's Scarlett; she sits on the dresser by my jewelry box. I think I'll put this one here on my desk. Thank you for the gift, I do like her."

"I know a place where she'd look perfect," Sarah declared.

"Where is that?" Johanna asked.

"On your Christmas tree," the spirit declared with a small clap of her hands.

Johanna rolled her eyes. "No, Sarah; I'm not putting up a tree."

"Oh come now, don't be such a wet blanket."

"Is it really nice to call your granddaughter names?"

"Yes, when she provokes it."

"I don't believe I'm provoking you."

"Oh but you are, Kitten," Sarah remarked. "You will be putting that Christmas tree up; one way or another."

Johanna's brow rose as she eyed her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You keep resisting and you'll find out," the spirit declared.

"Is that supposed to scare me?"

Sarah put her hands on her hips. "I have scared you before."

"Yes; the first time you popped up but I'm used to you now…and you don't scare me."

"Well, maybe I need to step it up a little."

"What are you going to do, send in my mother-in-law?"

Sarah smiled. "I bet she could scare you; but I'll hold off on sending in Elizabeth."

"I'm surprised you haven't sent anyone else to see me," Johanna remarked.

"You're hoping I'll send your mother."

She shrugged. "I miss her."

"I know, dear."

"Can't she come…just for a few minutes?"

Sarah gave her a soft smile. "Perhaps it can be arranged at some point; but for now I'm afraid you're just stuck with me. How about we get out your other Scarlett ornaments and put them on your bookcase?"

"I don't know," she said hesitantly. "I should ask Jim first…he might not want reminders of my time in Wyoming."

"You're a reminder of your time in Wyoming…and he definitely wants you."

"That's different, Sarah."

"He didn't ask you to leave behind your belongings when you were packing things up in Wyoming," the spirit went on. "You haven't gotten rid of your books or those round shiny things you put in that box looking thing hooked to the television."

Johanna struggled not to laugh. "The discs are DVDs, Sarah; the 'box' is a DVD player."

"Yes; those…you still watch those; even though you got them in Wyoming."

"It's different."

"Only in your stubborn mind. A little Scarlett ornament being used as a knick knack is nothing more than that…you're the one who is assigning significance to it; and there's no need for it. Put them out, you like them; and you know he'll tell you to do it."

"Most likely," she murmured.

"And then afterwards, you can get out the Christmas decorations!" Sarah said gleefully. "Because, darling, there is an appalling lack of greenery in this house."

"Sarah, you're as hung up on Christmas as the Hallmark Channel is. You both need help."

"You're the one who needs help…which is why I'm here on this mission of Christmas mercy," the spirit declared.

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Feeling dramatic today?"

"I've been watching some television," Sarah remarked. "I quite like it."

She laughed softly, leaning back in her chair. "You've been watching television? Where at? Are you watching it here when Jim and I are asleep?"

"No, dear; at one of my other stops."

"Haunts," Johanna corrected with an amused gleam in her eyes.

"Don't sass me, Kitten."

"I'm not sassing you," she laughed. "Where were you watching television at?"

"Oh nowhere worth mentioning," Sarah replied; thinking about the nights she spent in Kate's apartment and at the loft of her fiancé, turning the television on, raising the volume and playing with the DVR. She smiled a little, thinking of the multitude of disturbances she was creating for her great-granddaughter; moving things, hiding things, setting off her phone with Christmas music. The girl was thoroughly unamused…which tickled her to no end, she thought to herself gleefully.

"Sarah," Johanna said, her brow raised in suspicion; "You look like you've been up to mischief."

"I like mischief."

"Anyone I know?"

The spirit shrugged. "I can't discuss that with you, darling; you know that."

She sighed in resignation. "You've been quiet again the last two days."

"Well, dear; it's a busy time of year for me."

"I see," Johanna remarked; "Well, don't let me hold you up. I think Jim's coming around to my way of thinking and we'll be going up to the cabin for the holiday."

Sarah smiled. "You can't get rid of me that easily…nor when I cease with my mission…no matter where you run to, so you may as well stay home."

"Maybe I feel going to the cabin is worth the risk."

"You're too stubborn for your own good," the spirit declared; "But I'll win…I can be just as stubborn as you can; perhaps more so."

"I doubt it."

"Challenge accepted," Sarah declared. "You will decorate and you will do it soon…even if I have to help you do it."

Johanna's brow rose. "Help me?"

She smiled. "Yes, dear; I do believe you're going to need some assistance since you're reluctant to take on the task yourself."

"Well, if I don't take on the task, you won't have anything to help with, now will you?"

"That's what you think," Sarah remarked with a smirk.

"Sure, Sarah; whatever you say."

The spirit narrowed her eyes and gave her a sly smile as she moved toward the window and laid down a treat in front of Scarlett before running her hand over her fur. "The kitty likes me now," she stated.

"She likes anyone who brings her treats," Johanna replied.

"It's a start," Sarah declared; "And I'm just getting started with you…I'm going to have to put a little more action into my motivation of you."

"Meaning what?"

"You'll see, darling; you'll see," she remarked. "I have to be going now."

"Well that was a short visit," Johanna stated.

"Yes, I know; but you have work to do and I have some plans to make…I'll be back…possibly sooner than you think."

Johanna eyed her. "That seems somewhat worrying."

Sarah smiled. "Good; see you later, kitten."

"See you later," she told the spirit as she faded away.

When she was gone, Johanna swiveled her chair around to look at her cat. "So, Scarlett; you've decided that a ghost who brings treats isn't a threat?"

Scarlett raised her head and meowed; as if agreeing with the assessment. "I'm not sure if that makes you a traitor or not," her owner stated; "But at least you're getting treats…and I have an ornament as compensation for an impending headache."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Johanna shivered as she came in from getting the mail; cursing the mailman for not timing his delivery with Jim's early homecoming that day. It always seemed to work out that way, she mused as she shrugged out of her coat and hung it on the hook before kicking off her shoes and picking up the mail.

"Jo," Jim called out from upstairs.

"What?" she called back as she continued to sort through the stack of mail.

"Come up here."

She sighed and laid the stack aside, wondering what he had gotten into as she heard a faint sound coming from the upstairs that she couldn't quite place. "What is it?" she asked as she moved up the stairs.

"Have you been in the attic today?" Jim asked as she reached the top of the stairs.

"No, why?"

He pointed down the hallway to the open attic door…and the shiny plastic Christmas balls that were tumbling down the steps and into the hallway, much to Scarlett's amusement as she pounced on them and batted them around.

"What the hell is going on?" Johanna asked as she took in the scene.

"I was hoping you knew," her husband replied. "You said you weren't in the attic today?"

"No; I haven't been up there in days."

"Well someone must be up there…do you think it's our friendly nosy ghost?"

Johanna glared at the open attic door and the Christmas balls that were bouncing down the steps one by one. This must be Sarah's idea of helping to decorate. "Yeah; I'd say that's a safe bet…and I'm not amused, Sarah!"

"I don't think she cares," Jim replied as several balls came rolling down the steps at once.

"Apparently not."

"Scarlett seems happy though," he said with a nod at the cat, who seemed to be in her glory, pouncing and batting and chasing.

"Yeah; she thinks Santa came and brought her a load of cat toys," Johanna replied. "She's going to be very unhappy when I pick them up."

Jim gave a short laugh. "Maybe we could let her keep just one…she seems kind of fond of that red one."

She nodded. "She can keep the red one…and maybe one or two others, but the rest are going back in the box in the attic…do you hear me, Sarah!"

A flood of Christmas balls rushed down the stairs. "I think she heard you," Jim commented.

"I'm going to kill her," Johanna remarked.

"That's going to be hard to do…considering she's already passed on," her husband said with a laugh.

Johanna glared at him. "There has to be something I can do to her…go Google it and find out while I clean this mess up."

Jim shook his head. "I don't think I can do that."

"Why not?"

"Because then she might come after me and steal my phone again."

"Keep it in your pocket and go use your laptop."

"She's your family; you go Goggle how to be violent to a ghost," Jim replied.

Johanna eyed him, her hands on her hips. "When you married me, you made her your family too."

"You didn't tell me about all this small print in the marriage license, sweetheart."

"Of course not; if I had, you wouldn't have married me and my mother already had the church reserved."

He laughed as he pressed a kiss against her forehead. "I still would've married you."

"Are you sure about that?" she asked; a teasing gleam in her eyes.

"Absolutely; there's nowhere else I'd rather be than here with you…even if your relatives haunt our attic."

She caressed his cheek before pressing a kiss to his lips. "That's sweet…I'm glad you came home early."

"Why? So you don't have to be haunted alone?" he teased.

"No," she laughed; "Because I miss you when you're at work and I'm always glad when you get home. Your lunch is ready, I put it on the table before I went to get the mail; which is on the stand by the door, I was sorting it when you yelled for me."

"Anything good?"

"Bills," she laughed.

"Of course, they want their holiday cheer," Jim quipped.

"That's the truth. There are a few magazines, I don't know if any of yours is there or not, one of mine was on top of the stack. I don't know what else is there, it seems like we got a flood of mail today."

"Probably from the stores begging you to get out the credit card," he teased.

"They're going to be disappointed," she quipped. "Go eat your lunch; I'll clean up this mess."

"Are you sure, I can help you with this."

She smiled. "I can handle this; you go ahead, I know you're hungry."

"Alright, sweetheart," he replied, giving her a quick kiss. "One of the laundry baskets is in the bathroom if you want to put all of these in something."

"Yeah; I guess it's a good thing I left it there when I heard you come in. I had just gotten done putting the towels away."

"Maybe Sarah knew that," he remarked with a grin.

"Sarah's going to know that I'm not amused."

"But Scarlett is," Jim said with a laugh as he turned to head downstairs.

Johanna nodded as she watched her cat; Scarlett was definitely amused…but her pet's enjoyment wasn't enough to keep her from sighing as she looked at the hallway, littered with Christmas balls. She huffed in aggravation as she went into the bathroom and grabbed the clothes basket.

"Sorry, Scarlett," she said when she returned to the hallway; "But you can't keep all of these."

Her cat seemed to understand her intention of cleaning up the mess in the hallway and she watched as Scarlett picked up a red Christmas ball and carried it to the guest room to hide it. Johanna shook her head, why the guest room was Scarlett's favorite place to hide her toys, she didn't know; but she always left the door ajar for her so she could retrieve the items. As she cleaned up, she watched her pet sneak away three more Christmas balls, adding them to the guest room as well before she settled back down to playing with the ones Johanna hadn't gotten to yet.

After dropping all of the ornaments but one in the basket, Johanna played with Scarlett for a few minutes, rolling the last Christmas ball to her so that she could bat it away and then pounce on it. With a regretful sigh, she finally dropped the ball into the basket with a sigh, earning herself a perturbed meow from her cat. "I know, sweetie," Johanna said; "But I have to get this stuff put away; go play with your toys and I'll play with you again later."

Scarlett sauntered off to the guestroom, clearly unhappy with her owner for ending their game. Johanna rose from the floor and picked up the clothes basket, figuring she'd make it up to Scarlett later with a few treats and a string tied onto the end of one of the Christmas balls so they could play with it easier. She balanced the basket against her hip and climbed the stairs up to the attic.

"Look at this mess!" she exclaimed as she reached the top and looked at the side of the spacious attic that they used for storage. The plastic storage totes that she kept neatly organized were in disarray; the ornament crate the Christmas balls were usually housed in was on it's side.

"I could just throttle you, Sarah," she declared as set down the clothes basket and started putting the attic back in order.

"It's not nice to threaten your grandmother," Sarah stated, laughter in her voice as she appeared in the wingback chair on the opposite side of the room.

"It's also not nice to throw someone's belongings down the stairs," Johanna remarked.

"Well, darling; I thought if the ornaments were downstairs, it would make it easier for you to decorate."

"I'm not decorating!"

"You will," the spirit said confidently.

"I won't! If you keep pushing, I definitely won't for sure just to piss you off," Johanna declared.

Sarah's eyes narrowed. "I wouldn't advise being spiteful, kitten; you won't like the consequences."

"Yeah, I'm really afraid of you, Sarah. I mean what can you do besides throw your tantrums? I assure you I've had people do worse to me…I mean let's remember that there was someone who put a contract out on me because he wanted me dead; so fearing a spirit isn't at the top of my list when I've had threats that were way more intimidating."

"Oh I can intimidate the hell out of you if I so chose," the spirit declared; "And I don't like this tone you're taking with me."

"Don't throw my stuff down the steps and you won't have to worry about a tone," Johanna remarked as she stooped down and dragged the ornament crate closer to her in preparation of putting the Christmas balls back in their slots.

"I wouldn't throw your belongings down the stairs if you'd cooperate a little."

Johanna sighed. "Don't you have anyone else to bother in the name of holidays?"

"Yes, actually I do; but you're my priority."

"Lucky me."

"Aren't you though?" Sarah quipped.

"Why can't you just let me have Christmas my way?"

"Because your way is no way," Sarah replied; "And I hate to see that. I don't want you to dread this month every year…you've done enough of that."

Johanna shrugged as she dropped Christmas balls into their slots. "Who cares? It's in the past. It's time to move on to new traditions."

"You can move on without giving up the holiday. You can make new traditions."

"I intend to by going to the cabin."

"You want to go to the cabin to hide. You'll be isolated."

"I'll have Jim and Scarlett; that's hardly isolation."

Sarah sighed in slight disgust. "Alright, if you start this tradition, your family might not want to make the trip to the mountains."

"My family isn't available this year. Frankie and Val and their family will be in Florida. Jim's brother Andrew and his daughter will be in Maine. Colleen's girls will be in Virginia. Katie will be with her little family. Jim and I are on our own this year…he doesn't like to celebrate Christmas. He did it last year to appease me and I won't have him doing it again this year. I respect his and Katie's feelings about the subject."

"But what about your feelings?" Sarah asked.

Johanna breathed deeply and dropped a shiny plastic red ball into the crate. "I'm pretty much over it. I didn't celebrate it all those years in Wyoming and last year was a desperate attempt to feel the way I used to at the holidays and I allowed myself to be disillusioned into thinking I did. But it's never going to be the way it was…I created too many bad memories for everyone, myself included. I don't want it anymore."

"Did you ever consider that the first Christmas you were back was rocky merely because it was the first one and there were still things to work out? Did you ever consider that the next one could be better with some minor tweaks?"

"They don't want it, Sarah," she murmured. "Please just let it go."

"But do you want it?"

"No," she said angrily. "I don't. I just want to go away and forget it. Why can't I get that through your head?"

"Because I don't want to see you sink into bitterness about this time of year. You can't drown in wine to get through it anymore…so you want to hide instead. You've always been one to hide, Josie…as a little girl you used to hide under the table when your father was angry. As a teenager, you hid at Sharon's or your grandmother's. As a college student, you hid at Bridget's when things would get testy at home. As a young woman, you hid at Jim's…and then you got married and didn't need to hide anymore until that case gave you no choice but to hide. When the case was over, you came home to live with Jim…and you wanted to hide indoors to shun the world. It's time to stop hiding, Josie."

"It's time for you to mind your own damn business."

"You should know by now that I'm not going to do that," Sarah remarked; "And you're really starting to annoy me with your insistence on punishing a holiday for the bad things in your life."

Johanna looked up from the crate. "Get out of my house; go do your haunting somewhere else."

Sarah puffed up in indignation. "I will not! I won't leave for the day until I'm good and damn ready. You just better mind yourself, little miss."

Johanna muttered a curse laden remark under her breath but apparently her ghostly grandmother had super sonic hearing. "I heard that, you little brat," Sarah said tersely; "And if I could wash your mouth out with soap for such language, I would! I'm telling your mother."

"Please do; then tell her Merry Christmas," Johanna stated; a sardonic smile on her lips.

"You're really annoying me right now," Sarah said, her hands perched on her hips despite still being seated.

"Ask me if I care," her granddaughter replied.

Sarah rose from the chair, moving across the room with a graceful glide, reaching out and flicking Johanna in the forehead.

"Ow!" she cried. "I hate it when you do that!"

"I know, dear; that's why I do it," Sarah stated before flicking her again.

"Stop that!"

The spirit giggled. "Stop being so stubborn and I'll consider it."

"Sarah," she sighed.

"You may as well give in, darling; you won't win."

"That's what you think."

"I guess time will tell," Sarah remarked; "But look I found your other Scarlett ornaments in one those plastic contraptions you store things in," she said, pointing to the small stand near the chair, where the Scarlett figurines sat.

Johanna glanced at the collection. "You enjoy going through my stuff, don't you?"

"A little," she replied. "I like how you have a little library up here."

Johanna gave a nod. "Jim helped me do that last winter…sometimes I need a quiet place to read; especially if his friends are over…and I admit, I like being up here when it rains; I like to hear it on the roof. We went through and cleaned out some things, moved the majority of the rest over to this side. That oriental rug on the floor was Grandma Sophia's…the wingback chair belonged to Elizabeth; the little stand was Mom's. Jim bought those little bookcases to put some of my book collection on and put up those little shelves to put some knick knacks on so it looks homey up here…and my trunk acts as another stand."

"My mother's trunk," Sarah declared moving toward it and tracing her fingers over the initials M.A.R that was imprinted on the old cracked black leather.

"Yeah…I didn't know that until last year. Bridget gave it to me when I was a teenager to keep my treasures in…she just fessed up about everything last year."

"I know, dear."

Johanna glanced at the spirit. "Your blue beads are in there…the one's your mother gave me when I was a little girl…her gloves are in there too."

Sarah smiled. "She's glad you kept them…and that you were able to recall that memory of her."

"I wish I could've known her better."

"She wishes that had been possible too…but you have her love, Josie; always know that."

"I know," she murmured. "I read the letters that her and Mom exchanged."

Sarah gave her a small grin. "We're a clever family when we need to be, aren't we? We always find a way to get things done, even if they have to be conducted in secret."

"Yeah; I guess that's true."

Sarah's smile turned somewhat sympathetic. "We've all had our battles, Josie…we're all scarred from the wars and the beatings and the loses…the guilt, regrets, hurts…but we all pick up and carry on as best as we can…and we smile while we do it; pretending none of it is there, dogging our heels; but we don't fool many people…least of all ourselves."

Johanna smirked at her. "Are you getting philosophical on me?"

"No, merely speaking the truth."

"And does your truth have a specific point?"

Her grandmother laughed. "Just that you're definitely a product of this gene pool…and that you can't hide your scars from the past…so instead of trying to ignore them and trying to hide them; you just have to learn to accept that they're there and move on, remembering that they don't change who you are at the core."

"It might not change who you are at the core…but the battles wound people around you and you have to learn to adjust to their wishes and comforts if you don't want to be alone."

Sarah's brow rose. "Hmm; interesting."

"How so?"

"It's just a statement that gives interesting insight into your way of thinking about current things…you want to take up Jim's tradition because you're afraid if you try to have a Christmas again, he'll go off to his cabin alone like he prefers to do and you'll be alone like you were in Wyoming. You're afraid Katie will blow her stack again and lock you out forever."

Johanna shook her head. "Jim wouldn't leave me alone."

"Most likely not; but you've probably pondered the chances…I know you; you always ponder the odds. As for Katie…"

"I've already lost Katie," she stated. "At least in the ways that matter. We agreed to separate holidays…and now she's engaged and they're her family now. I don't matter…and she's used to being away from Jim on the holidays so he doesn't matter much to her in that regard either. It's just us this year…and it's a little depressing, so why go through the hoopla? Especially when I know my husband will only be humoring me once again. I just don't have the stomach for it this year, Sarah. I know it's disappointing to you, but I don't know what to tell you."

"You can tell me that you'll push through it and try again."

Johanna shook her head. "I've already closed that book."

Sarah put her hands on her hips. "We're just going to have to open it back up. My work isn't done here, not by a long shot."

"Oh God," she muttered.

"Don't worry, kitten; I'll let you be for the rest of the day if you promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"You'll take your Scarletts downstairs and display them like you want to…if you do that; I'll be on my way for the rest of the day."

Johanna nodded. "Fine; I can do that…but I'll ask Jim first if he minds."

"Very well," Sarah replied. "I'll be back around before you know it."

Johanna eyed her. "I better not find a Christmas tree in my living room tomorrow morning."

Sarah's green eyes glittered with amusement. "Alright, you won't find one in your living room tomorrow morning…other mornings are up for debate."

"Sarah, I will find a way to hurt you."

The spirit laughed. "Good luck with that, darling. I'll be going on my rounds now; I have other people to torment."

"Have fun," Johanna replied.

"Oh I intend to…I love you, you know?"

"I know, Sarah; I love you too."

The spirit smiled. "Until next time, darling."

"See you around," Johanna replied; watching as her grandmother vanished from the attic. She blew out a breath and put the last Christmas ball in its slot but then frowned. She knew that Scarlett had pilfered four Christmas balls…but she had nine empty spaces. She looked in the clothes basket again and then searched the floor. She found nothing but didn't allow it to bother her, figuring that Scarlett had hidden away a few more than she had realized; they'd turn up when she was bored with them and then she'd put them away.

With the matter settled, Johanna picked up her clothes basket and headed back downstairs, satisfied that the rest of her day would be free of a Christmas crazed ghost.

* * *

As Kate trudged toward the door of her apartment that evening after work, her phone once again started blaring Christmas music. "Son of a bitch," she muttered as she grabbed it from the pocket of her jacket and hurried to silence it. All day long her phone had gone off at random intervals, much to the amusement of her colleagues. She was fed up with it by noon and had shoved it in one of her desk drawers but the sound pierced through the wood, annoying her beyond measure. Tomorrow she'd get a new phone and put an end to this nonsense, she told herself as she shoved her key into the lock.

She pushed open her door with a sigh of relief, noting the absence of tinsel and red and green Christmas accents. It was a welcome switch from the loft, where Castle went beyond overboard with decorating. She liked his enthusiasm…and when buried deep in his traditions, she could forget her own bad memories…but the decorating…good God the decorating. She couldn't stand the overabundance of decorations, the garishness of some it, the over the top ridiculousness of it. Her childhood home had always been decorated for the holidays…tastefully…and within reason. At Castle's you could smother from the amount of décor. It wasn't her…she was trying to make it her, but it wasn't working. She just didn't like it…and she didn't have the heart to ask if they could tone it down and trim back; go for a more streamlined, elegant look instead of his hodgepodge of themes. She couldn't do that, it wasn't her home and his belongings weren't hers. Her only choice was to slink home to her own apartment when she couldn't stand looking at the sparkling mass of holiday spirit any longer.

Kate kicked off her boots and peeled off her jacket, carrying it and her purse to the closet and putting them away before making the trek to the kitchen for a cold drink. Once she had it, she dialed the number of her favorite pizza place and placed an order to be delivered. Tonight she would have quiet…tonight she would watch Temptation Lane on her DVR and not have to listen to the commentary of Castle or the acting tips Martha would like to give to the younger actresses on the show. It was always a nice change of pace…one she wouldn't have once she was married. She frowned a little; a part of her wondering what it would feel like when she no longer had the option of leaving and seeking out her own refuge but she figured it was best not to dwell on that.

As she settled down on her sofa, she noticed the photo albums she kept on the bottom shelf of the book case were laying on the floor, pictures spilled out around them. She blew out a breath and pushed herself off the sofa to investigate the matter, lowering herself down on her knees to examine the shelf that she could tell now was at an odd angle. Kate soon found that the shelf had somehow slipped off the small metal brace that held it in place and her brow furrowed, trying to figure out how it had happened. She couldn't think of a logical explanation but couldn't come up with any evidence that the shelf had been tampered with; there was no indication that anything else in the room had been moved or disturbed, her door had been locked and the alarm was set and clearly hadn't gone off during the day. She put the shelf back in its proper place and began to pick up the photo albums, noting that the pictures on the floor were the copies she had made of photos from her childhood. She picked up a picture of her and her mother, sitting in front of the Christmas tree when she was six years old. Kate smiled a little, recalling that memory of the Christmas when she had been convinced that her mother had made it snow just for her so she could go sled riding at her grandparents house.

She studied the image wistfully; sometimes she wished she could go back to that time and know nothing of the horrors of the world; that she could be free of worry and stress…that she and her mother could be as free and happy with each other as they had been all those years ago.

Kate shook her head and opened up the album she knew the photo belonged in and placed it inside, her fingers reaching for the other photos. Her brow furrowed as she realized that they were all Christmas photos from her childhood. All of them showing her with her mother. The room suddenly felt chilled and she shivered as she hurriedly put the photos back into their slots in the albums.

"You could have that kind of holiday happiness with her again," a feminine voice stated.

Kate jerked at the sound, losing her balance and falling on her bottom. "Who's there?" she demanded to know, wishing she hadn't left her gun in the kitchen. What the hell had possessed her to do that?

Soft laughter filled the air. "Oh you don't need that gun; you're perfectly safe."

"Who's here?" Kate demanded to know as she pushed herself off the floor and began to search her apartment. "Show yourself!"

More laughter…and no one in sight. She must be losing her mind; too many years on the force and she had finally cracked, Kate mused. There was no other explanation.

"Oh, Bunny, there are other explanations and you definitely haven't cracked or lost your mind."

"Bunny?" Kate exclaimed. "What the hell?"

Sarah clucked her tongue, remaining unseen but thoroughly amused. "My, my, Katherine, such language."

"I don't know who you are, but you better show yourself right now!"

"If you insist," Sarah remarked, materializing in Kate's living room.

Kate's eyes widened as the lady in green she had glimpsed at the precinct appeared before her. "Who are you? Where did you come from?"

Sarah smiled. "This room could use a Christmas tree."

"Answer my questions; who are you and how did you get here?"

"It's really not important at the moment," Sarah remarked. "You should get a little Christmas tree…and perhaps call your mother more often; it's a difficult season for her too you know."

"How do you know my mother?"

Her smile widened. "Oh I've known her since the day she was born."

"That's not possible," Kate remarked; "You don't look much older than me."

"Age really isn't relevant to me anymore, dear."

"What does that mean? Tell me who you are!" she demanded, advancing toward her, but as she did so, the woman disappeared.

Kate glanced around the room, running through the apartment, trying to convince herself that this person was pulling some sort of illusion that was allowing her to slip her way. She could find no sign of her visitor and her brain kept insisting on reminding her of Castle's favorite theory, especially since odd things kept occurring like televisions being on late at night and her phone randomly playing music. Maybe it was a ghost. He'd never let her live it down if it was. No, no, it couldn't be a ghost. Just no. He wasn't right; he couldn't be.

"I don't believe in ghosts," Kate declared as she stood in the middle of her living room. "I don't believe in ghosts. I don't believe in ghosts."

"You might want to start believing," the voice stated, soft and full of amusement. "It doesn't matter how many times you state to the contrary that you don't believe…it won't change anything at my end of the spectrum…but your ideals should change…and they will."

"Who are you, where are you and why are you here?"

"All in good time, Bunny; all in good time. Do get some Christmas cheer in here though, and call your mama, tell her you love her…consider more than yourself once in awhile."

"Ok, first of all, whoever you are, I don't like this thing of being called 'Bunny'; and I don't like being called selfish."

A flash of green silk appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. "Don't act like a selfish little twit and I won't call you one."

"Excuse me," Kate said sharply. "Get the hell out of my apartment and don't come back!"

Sarah grinned. "Oh I'll see you again; we have much to discuss…but not today. Today has been a very busy day for me and I need all my energy to deal with you. We'll meet again. Don't forget what I told you; Christmas tree and call your mother."

Kate surged forward, hoping to grab hold of the intruder but Sarah vanished into thin air right in front of her, causing her to stumble across the threshold of the kitchen. Someone had to be playing a very elaborate prank on her, she thought to herself as she grabbed hold of the edge of the counter to steady herself. When she found out who it was, they were going to pay dearly.

She raked her hand through her hair and blew out a breath, her ears straining for the sound of the lady in green but she heard nothing. The apartment felt still and the air warmer than it had been. It was just some prank…probably Castle trying to prove to her that ghosts were real. Yeah; that's all it was, she thought as she smiled and turned to face the sink, but as she did so, something caught her eye and she glanced at the cupboard doors. There hanging off the handles of her cupboards were four Christmas balls, red, blue, green and silver. She shivered. "Okay, that's a little creepy," she remarked; certain that the Christmas balls hadn't been there when she gotten a drink.

A soft giggle sounded from somewhere in the room but she saw nothing and she slowly grabbed her gun and backed out of the kitchen. The living room was void of strangers in green silk and she settled down on her sofa once more, telling herself that there was nothing to worry about…and no reason to leave her home; because she had to admit, the thought of leaving was on her mind.

As she was convincing herself that everything was fine, a Christmas ball came rolling across her floor from the kitchen…gold this time, definitely not one of the four that had been hanging in the kitchen. Kate bit her lip; she couldn't go to Castle's, not after telling him she just wanted to have some alone time….and she sure as hell couldn't tell him that she was spooked by what might seem like a ghost. She could never admit that…how would it look for Detective Kate Beckett to be spooked by something? No, she couldn't go to Castle's; it was out of the question, as were her friends. What was she going to do though? She asked herself as she worried her bottom lip. She wasn't going to be able to rest in her bed tonight with whatever it was lurking about, hanging up Christmas balls or rolling them across the floor. She glanced at her phone on the cushion beside her and after a moment's hesitation, she snatched it and found the number she wanted. Three rings later, her mother's voice floated across the line.

"Are you busy?" Kate asked.

"No; I just finished cleaning up the kitchen from dinner," Johanna answered. "What are you up to tonight?"

"Well…I was going to watch Temptation Lane but my DVR didn't record it so I was wondering if you had it, and if so, could I come over and watch it with you? If you and Dad don't have plans?"

"We don't have any plans, come on over," her mother replied. "Did you have dinner? I can warm up some leftovers, we had lasagna."

"No, I haven't had dinner, that sounds great."

"Alright, sweetheart; I'll go put a slice in the oven and warm it back up while you're on your way."

"One more thing," Kate said; hating herself for what she was about to ask.

"What is it?"

"I…um…well, my heat doesn't seem to be working too well this evening…so I thought maybe I could stay there…in my room."

"Are you and Rick fighting?" Johanna asked, a touch of lightness in her tone.

"No; I just wanted to…not be there tonight," she replied.

"I understand," her mother stated; "Of course you can stay here; I don't want you staying in that apartment with the heat not working, you'll get sick. Get some things together and come on over, I'll have your dinner ready."

"Thanks, Mom, I'll be there soon," she murmured before hanging up.

With her plans settled, Kate gathered up her gun and headed for her bedroom to throw some things into an overnight bag. She moved quickly, wanting to get away from her apartment as soon as possible. The pizza she had forgotten she ordered arrived while she was gathering her things and she hurriedly paid for it and shoved it into the fridge. She then returned to the living room and pulled her boots on and quickly zipped up her jacket; double checked that she had everything and then hurried through her door, making sure it locked behind her. She moved swiftly down the hallway and stabbed the button for the elevator, glancing back down the hall toward her door. There in the dim light of the hallway, was the lady in green, beaming and giving her a small wave.

"Stay away from me," Kate stated.

"Don't be unsociable, darling," the lady remarked, "It's really quite unbecoming."

The doors of the elevator slid open but Kate's gaze was pinned on the mystery woman. "Go on," her beaming visitor told her. "Go see your mama, she's waiting…you'll be quite safe there."

Kate hesitated but then the woman disappeared and she hurried onto the elevator before the doors slid shut. She blew out a breath, praying the entire ride that her guest wouldn't show up beside her…and that this was all some sort of weird hallucination from eating Chinese food for lunch. But deep down, she had a feeling it wasn't and she squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want Castle to be right. She didn't want to be haunted…what had she done to be haunted for anyway? It was really ridiculous for a ghost to come after her, she hadn't done anything.

"You're right, you haven't done anything," Sarah replied as she appeared in the elevator; "And that's the problem, my dear."

Kate shrieked in surprise. "What are you?"

She smiled. "You know what I am…we'll talk again soon. You go enjoy your evening; I'm sure your mother will be so happy to have you there tonight."

Trepidation slid down her spine. "Why? Is something going to happen? Is something wrong?"

"No," Sarah assured; "She's just a mother who loves her daughter…it's something you should remember more than you do."

Kate's brow furrowed. "Don't at like you know me…you know nothing."

"No, Bunny; you're wrong, I know everything," Sarah said with a satisfied smile before vanishing.

Kate shivered as the elevator stopped and the doors slid open. She didn't like this, whatever it was; she didn't like it at all.

 _A/N Bunny was 1920s slang for a confused or lost person._


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Thanks for your reviews!_

Chapter 11- Connections

"Do you have everything you need, Katie?" Johanna asked that night as she stepped into her daughter's old bedroom.

"Yeah; I'm fine," Kate replied as she pulled back the covers on her bed. "Is my TV still hooked up? I might watch a few minutes of one of the late shows."

"Yes, it's hooked up; you should know that from staying here before."

"You might've changed something," she replied; "You know how you are, you start little projects."

Johanna shook her head. "I haven't changed much."

Kate gave a laugh. "You have a reading nook in the attic. You and Dad basically remodeled the basement, making it look like a totally different space. You have new curtains, new rugs. I could go on."

"I leave your room alone, Katie. I only come in and dust and to change the bedding. Gabby likes to stay in here when she stays with us."

"I know."

Her mother smiled. "You're okay with that, right?"

"Of course. Gabby's my cousin; I wouldn't deny her my room."

"We're glad to have you here tonight," Johanna stated. "It's been nice to spend some time with you this evening…we haven't seen you in awhile."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry; you're busy, we understand that…especially this time of year."

There it was; the elephant that Kate had felt in the room all night as she noted that there were no Christmas decorations inside or outside the house. She also hadn't missed how quickly her mother had flipped past Christmas programs after they had finished watching Temptation Lane. She wasn't sure how to have a discussion involving the upcoming holiday with her mother, all things considered but she knew she had to answer.

"Yeah…I guess you're busy too…with it being this time of year."

"No, actually I'm not," her mother replied. "I'm glad for it though. I'm looking forward to spring when I can get back outside a little and tend to my flowers."

"Spring is always a good time of year," Kate agreed, suddenly feeling awkward despite her ease at being home while they had been downstairs.

"You'll be getting married this spring," Johanna commented; "The planning will be picking up steam."

"Yeah; I guess so."

"We'll need to go look at dresses soon…really we should've already done it or at least started to. We should go in January…that is if you want me to go," Johanna said, her tone cautious, as if she had caught herself being presumptuous.

"Of course I want you to go with me," Kate replied. "We'll get it arranged after the New Year."

"We've got time."

"Yeah; we'll get it taken care of. You'll need a dress too."

"Yes; but that's an easier task."

"I guess we'll see about that," her daughter stated.

She smiled a little. "I guess we will. Are you sure I can't get you an extra blanket?"

"I'm fine."

Johanna nodded. "Before I forget, if you hear a lot of noise in the hallway, it's Scarlett. She's in the guest room right now. She found herself some new toys and I'm sure she'll be having a party with them all night…that's what she usually does when she has something new."

"What did she find to play with now?"

"A container of ornaments somehow fell and opened in the attic and the ornaments rolled down the steps. Scarlett was in her glory. I saw her carry four Christmas balls off to the guest room but when I put the stuff away, I had nine empty slots…so I guess she has another five hid somewhere."

"Five missing?" Kate repeated; thinking of the Christmas balls that had appeared in her apartment.

"Yes; but I'm not worried about it. They'll turn up eventually. Until then, Scarlett can have her fun."

Kate managed a smile; she wasn't so sure that five of those ornaments would turn up.

"You okay?" Johanna asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"You had an odd look on your face."

"I was just wondering where a cat would hide her treasurers."

"Oh she has her places, believe me. I'm sure she has a horde of toys under the bed in the guest room. I just haven't looked lately."

"She's probably glad."

"Probably so…but I wanted to let you know that she'll probably be on the prowl so you don't shoot my cat in the middle of the night…I don't know how I'd handle that in a sense of forgiving you so it's probably best avoided," Johanna remarked.

She laughed. "Don't worry, Mom; I'd always make sure it wasn't Scarlett before I pulled the trigger."

"I appreciate that," she said with a grin. "I am fond of her."

"I know," she said as she moved toward her, feeling the sudden urge to hug her mother.

Johanna smiled as her daughter wrapped her in an embrace. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart."

"You too," Kate murmured as she released her.

Johanna caught hold of her chin and gently forced her to lower her head so that she could kiss her forehead like she had done when she was little. "I love you."

"Love you," she said as her mother turned to leave the room.

Once she was alone, Kate settled into her old bed and reached for the remote on the nightstand to click on her TV; those five missing Christmas ornaments on her mind. Her mother was missing five Christmas balls…and she had five Christmas balls mysteriously turn up in her apartment and some strange lady in a green silk dress. Yeah, that wasn't creepy at all, she thought as she pulled the covers up further.

* * *

A light scratching at her bedroom door jarred Kate from her thoughts as she laid awake later that night. She threw back the covers and got up, making her way to the door and opening it. Scarlett meowed as she slipped inside the room, running toward the bed and jumping up on it. "Hey," Kate whispered; "I thought you weren't allowed on the beds."

Scarlett merely looked at her as she curled up on the foot of the bed. Kate moved back to her bed and sat down, staring back at the cat. "Well? What are you doing in here? Why aren't you across the hallway making a racket at your mommy's door? At least you think she's your mommy…really she's mine; you do know that, right? I was here first, this is my room."

The cat meowed at her but didn't move from the spot she had claimed. 'What's wrong?" Kate murmured as she stretched her hand out and petted her. "You can't sleep either? I would've thought you'd be exhausted; you've out there running and pouncing for an hour. I heard you."

Scarlett purred beneath her hand. "Oh my God, I'm talking to a cat," Kate muttered. "I must be losing my mind. Talking to cats and seeing a strange woman in green. What the hell is up with that?"

Talking to the cat wasn't so bad she figured…it was the other thing that was keeping her awake. Who was the mysterious woman in green and why did she look familiar? She was certain that she had never known the woman so what was her beef with her and how was she going to figure out who she was?

Worse; what if she was a ghost? She shook her head, she was thinking like Castle and this wasn't the time for that. Kate blew out a breath; but how was she supposed to get to the bottom of this if she didn't know who the person was or how she pulled off her little tricks? She needed to figure out who she was and how she was connected to her…and being that she was in her childhood home, she figured the photo albums would be a good place to browse for an answer.

With that thought in mind, Kate got up and headed for the door of her room, hearing the soft sound of Scarlett's tag on her collar jingling as she jumped down and followed her. They both slipped into the hallway quietly and Kate quickly made her way to the stairs, noting that her new friend seemed to be sticking with her. "You really don't have to go with me," she whispered to Scarlett as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

The cat meowed at her and stayed at her side as she moved into the living room.

"Shh," she whispered. "You'll wake everyone up if you keep meowing."

Scarlett meowed again and Kate huffed as she clicked on a dim lamp near the bookcase. "Go to bed, Scarlett," she said, pointing at the small cat bed in the corner of the room.

The cat stayed next to Kate as she sat down on the floor and carefully opened the doors at the bottom of the bookcase and pondered the photo albums stored inside. Her mysterious visitor in the old fashioned silk dress wasn't someone she recalled knowing from her childhood…and yet she had an air of familiarity in the sense that she looked like she could belong to her family. She sighed, she hated the thought that she might be looking for a photo of a dead relative…because that would mean she was buying into Castle's theory that she had a ghost problem.

She didn't want a ghost problem.

She didn't want to believe in ghosts.

She didn't have time for ghosts.

And yet she had this odd tingling slipping down her spine every time she thought of the woman in green. Who but a ghost could appear and disappear so freely and without leaving any evidence of being there in the first place…except for those brief moments when she had been caught on security tape.

Kate sighed; she so didn't need this. She didn't want to believe; had never really believed in ghosts…and yet she felt like maybe they couldn't be ruled out completely despite her best efforts at being practical. The woman's image on the security tape didn't mean that she wasn't a being from a spiritual realm...she had done a little research, just for the fact that she thought the guys had been kidding her when they said that ghost could appear as whole beings on film. Research had discovered that they had been right…alleged ghosts had been photographed and recorded…although she still didn't rule out tricks of photography. After all, that racket had been going on since the camera had been invented. Even poor widowed Mary Todd Lincoln had been conned into believing that the ghost of her beloved husband Abraham Lincoln had shown up on the photo she had taken, his hands on her shoulders. Kate shook her head, it was wrong to con someone like that; especially an aging widow who some reasoned wasn't in her right mind. But Mary Todd Lincoln wasn't her problem…unless she started showing up in her apartment too…and then she was definitely moving out.

Her problem was a troublemaker in an old fashioned green silk dress. Who was she and where did she come from? Why was she bothering her? Kate carefully picked through the albums, choosing the ones that predated her birth. She flipped through pages, looking at pictures of law firm parties her parents had attended; pictures of family gatherings, of baby photos of her older cousins. She went through even older albums; the ones that had belonged to her grandmother, documenting her mother's childhood along with her siblings. She found no one resembling the lady in question. Albums stretching clear back to her great grandmother Sophia Calabrese were searched and dismissed. Albums of her father's family were also searched and dismissed.

Finally, only one album remained; a very old book that she vaguely recognized as the photo album that had belonged to her grandfather's mother. She reached for it carefully, recalling that the album had been in the box of belongings of Sarah McKenzie that had finally made its way to her mother shortly after her return from Wyoming.

Scarlett trotted toward her, climbing onto her lap with a soft meow. "What's this all about tonight?" she whispered, petting the cat softly. "I thought you didn't like me?"

The cat rubbed her small head against her and she softened a little, her fingertips gently rubbing against the fur between her ears. "Are we calling a truce?" she whispered. "Mom will be so happy."

Scarlett made herself comfortable on her lap and Kate was careful not to bump her with the photo album as she began to look through the old photos that were carefully preserved inside. She turned page after page and then nearly dropped the thick book as her gaze collided with a photo. She fumbled to keep hold of the album, trying to be mindful of the old, worn binding and she tightened her hold on it. There, staring back at her from an aged black and white photo was the woman she had seen at the precinct and in her apartment. The mysterious woman in green…and she had a feeling that if the photo had been in color, the dress the woman was wearing would've been green. "That's her, Scarlett," Kate murmured.

The cat purred softly in response as Kate carefully slipped the photo from its slot and turned it over, reading the slightly faded ink on the back. _Sarah Johanna Riley McKenzie._ She closed her eyes for a moment, her mother's paternal grandmother…a woman neither she nor her mother had the fortune of knowing.

So what did the possible ghost of Sarah McKenzie want with her? She shivered a little, maybe she didn't want to know. Scarlett stirred on her lap, the air of the house turning chilly as she stared at the picture.

"You're a nosy girl, Bunny," a soft voice murmured.

Kate's head jerked up as the cat pressed closer to her body. She didn't see anyone in the room with her but goosebumps rose on her arms. "Who's there?" she hissed quietly.

A giggle sounded somewhere nearby causing Scarlett to tuck her head into the crook of Kate's arm.

"Apparently you know who I am; although I was hoping to keep you in suspense for awhile longer. But no, you had to go poking your nose into the pictures."

"What do you want with me?" she asked.

Sarah materialized on the sofa. "All in good time, Bunny. I wasn't even supposed to drop in on you here tonight but you had to be nosy."

"Don't call me Bunny."

"I'm your elder, little miss. I'll call you what I want."

"You need to go back where you came from and leave me alone! I don't even believe in ghosts!"

Sarah smiled. "And yet you're conversing with a spirit…I believe you might be contradicting yourself."

Kate shook her head. "This is just some weird dream."

"You're very awake, Bunny."

"I'm not so sure of that. Being asleep would explain why the cat suddenly wants me to hold her."

"The kitty is afraid of me, she's hoping you'll keep her safe," Sarah remarked as she rose from the sofa; "But I will prove to you that you're awake," she said as she drew near, her fingers stretching out gracefully before flicking Kate in the forehead.

"Ow!"

"See, dear; you're very awake."

"Why are you bothering me?"

"Because it pleases me to do so," Sarah remarked; "And because we have business, Bunny."

"Quit calling me that!"

"Don't raise your voice at me," Sarah said sharply. "The more you complain about it, the more I shall call you Bunny."

"Leave me alone!"

"No; I won't."

"Look, lady; I don't know what your game is and I don't want to know. Whatever it is, I do know I don't like it and I don't like you."

Sarah shrugged. "I don't rightly care what you like. I'm not all that crazy about you either. Out of all of my great grandchildren, and I have many, you are the one I'd love to give a little slap to."

"Is that right?" Kate asked tartly.

"It is," the sprit said with a nod. "I don't like the way you treat the people who love you. I don't like your attitude. Your mother is much more lenient with you than I would be. If you were mine, I assure you that either Patrick or I would've slapped that attitude right out of you, missy."

Kate glared at her. "Why don't you go haunt someone who cares?"

Sarah's eyes turned cold. "Oh, you'll care, mark my words; you will. I'm not done with you, Bunny. We'll be meeting again soon."

'I don't think so," she retorted as she shoved the picture back into its slot in the photo album and then put it back in the cabinet and closed the door.

Sarah regarded her with a raised brow. "Do you think putting the album away will make me go away? I don't leave until I'm ready."

"Then you better get ready," Kate told her. "I don't know what this is, but I'm not doing it. What kind of sick joke is this supposed to be?"

"It's no joke," the spirit said sharply. "I take my job very seriously."

"And what job would that be? Patron saint of Boo?"

Sarah's eyes narrowed and flashed with anger as she reached out and flicked Kate's forehead with a little more force that she had previously. "Keep it up, missy; and I'll be the patron saint of kicking your ass…and that's not language I like to use but you're pissing me off!"

Kate smirked at her. "Oh I'm so scared; see me tremble," she said, holding out her hand to show that it was steady.

Fury filled the being in front of her as Sarah threw up her hands, a gust of cold air rushing through the room as a crack of thunder sounded outside, so strong and loud that Kate swore it shook the house as lightening flashed outside the windows.

"Oh look," Sarah stated with a nod at the hand Kate still held out. "It's trembling now."

Kate looked at her hand, seeing that it was indeed trembling slightly and she hurriedly dropped it, cradling Scarlett closer to her as the cat meowed pitifully.

"Not so smug now, are you, darling?"

She shrugged. "So we're having a little storm; it happens. Am I supposed to believe that you caused it just because you threw your hands up in the air?"

"I suppose I shall have to do it again to prove it to you, won't I?" Sarah asked.

"No! You'll wake the whole damn neighborhood and the last thing I want is my mother walking into this."

"Oh, Bunny; I'm very well acquainted with your mother. I've been her guardian all of her life. She wouldn't fear me…you should fear me; because you're evoking my wrath and I've been told that my wrath isn't pretty."

"Neither is that dress you have on."

Sarah's eyes flashed with anger, her hands clapping together with force; spawning another loud crack of thunder, along with plunging the living room into darkness. Kate shivered and held the cat tightly, as the woman before her remained visible despite the darkness. "Your insults won't rid you of me," Sarah said quietly; "In fact, they only make me want to spend more time with you."

"Please don't," her great granddaughter replied.

The spirit smiled. "Oh, so you do have manners? I knew your mother taught you to have them but apparently you rarely use them. We're going to be seeing each other again, you can count on that; but for now, you may as well go back to bed, Bunny; and have sweet dreams. We'll talk again soon."

Sarah disappeared and the dim lamp in the living room clicked back on as Kate breathed deeply. She looked down at Scarlett who was peering up at her as she meowed softly. "I don't like it either," she whispered to her as she pushed herself up off the floor and turned the lamp off. "Let's go back upstairs where it's safe."

She kept the cat cradled tightly against her and quietly made her way back upstairs and down the hallway to her old bedroom. She stood on the threshold of the room and looked it over, checking to make sure she was alone before she stepped inside and closed the door.

Kate moved to her bed, climbing and in and plopping Scarlett down beside her. "Since we seem to be friends tonight, you're welcome to stay," she told the cat.

Scarlett meowed and curled up beside her as Kate turned onto her side to face her, her hand stroking her soft fur. There was no denying she had issues…she had been talking to a cat…she had been talking to a possible ghost. Maybe she was having some sort of breakdown. Maybe she needed to put in for a vacation after the New Year. Yeah; that was all this was, she was just tired and in need of a vacation…it would be fine…at least she hoped so. Slight burn out was way more appealing that being haunted by a ghost with an attitude problem.

* * *

"Are you feeling okay?" Jim asked as he entered the kitchen, moving to the stove to kiss Johanna's cheek as she cooked breakfast.

"Yeah; I'm fine. Why?" she asked.

"You seemed restless through the night," he answered while taking a mug down from the cupboard so he could pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Oh; I didn't really sleep well," Johanna told him.

"Bad dreams?"

"Not the nightmare kind of bad dreams…but they weren't happy dreams."

"You should've woke me," her husband told her. "I could've helped you think happy thoughts."

Johanna gave him a small smile. "If it had gotten too bad, I would've woke you."

He brushed a kiss against her lips. "Take a little nap this morning; the files you're working on can wait; we have a ways to go with that case."

"I'll be fine," she assured. "Have you seen Scarlett? She wasn't in the guest room and she wasn't in the living room. I went halfway down the steps to see if she was in the basement around her box but she wasn't there either."

"I think she managed to get in Katie's room this morning. I heard Katie telling her to get off her boots."

Johanna nodded. "As long as she's somewhere."

"Don't worry, sweetheart; we'd find her. We know she'd have to be in the house somewhere."

"That's true…but I'd still worry."

"I know; but she's fine."

"Who's fine?" Kate asked as she entered the kitchen.

"Scarlett," Jim answered; "Your mother hasn't seen her this morning."

"She's right here," Kate said, pointing to the cat who was following her into the room. "She was in my room while I got ready for work."

"She wanted to keep you company I guess," Johanna remarked as she watched her pet sit down at her dish with a meow. "I already put your food in there, Scarlett. It's not my fault you weren't here to watch me open the can as you prefer. Now eat your breakfast."

"You better do it," Kate told the cat; "You'll get grounded if you don't listen."

Scarlett turned her back on them and set about eating her breakfast.

"Well," Jim said; "I guess Scarlett bonded with her sister."

"I'm not her sister," Kate remarked.

"Yes, you are," he teased.

"If I am; that makes you her daddy," she replied.

Jim nodded. "I've been told that."

Kate shook her head. "This is a sick situation," she said as she got herself a mug so she could pour a cup of coffee. "Mom, do you want coffee?"

"Yes, please," Johanna said as she started to prepare the plates. "I think I need a cup this morning."

"I always need one," her daughter remarked.

"Did you sleep alright, Katie?" Jim asked.

"Yeah; I was fine…Scarlett seems to have a thing for my boot though; she was laying on it while I got dressed and she didn't want to get off of it."

"She does that to your mother's shoes too…when she was a kitten, she'd squeeze into one of her heels."

"Your cat is weird, Mom," Kate stated as she carried the mugs of coffee to the table.

"She is not; she's just a baby. She likes to be near us."

"With you, she's just staking her claim," her daughter remarked.

"Now, Katie," Jim said lightly; "Don't be jealous of your little sister."

"That cat is not my sister!"

Johanna laughed softly as she carried the plates to the table. "Sometimes a cat sister is better than a human one…trust me, I know."

"I'm sure you do," Kate remarked as her phone started blaring music. "Not this again," she muttered as she pulled it from her pocket.

Jim eyed the device. "Is your phone still misbehaving, Katie?"

"Yes; I think I'm going to have to get a new one and I don't really want to. I haven't had this one all that long," she replied as she fiddled with it and turned the music off. "I deleted all the music off my phone and put it back on, thinking there was some sort of glitch and it's still doing this…and playing songs I don't even have."

Johanna shared a knowing look with her husband but said nothing as she joined them at the table.

"It must be some weird glitch," Jim remarked. "Mine does that occasionally."

"Really?"

"Yeah…but eventually it goes away."

"I hope so; it's embarrassing."

"I know the feeling," Jim replied, sharing a quick look with his wife who did her best to smother a smile. "Your mother thinks maybe it's a ghost who has a thing for smartphones."

Kate rolled her eyes. "That's something Castle would say."

"Well you never know," Johanna remarked; "It could be a ghost…I've watched some of those ghost shows on TV…sometimes they like to play with things."

"How is that possible when they're transparent?" Kate asked.

Her mother shrugged. "Ours is not to question why."

Jim smiled; knowing that Johanna had just used her grandmother's signature line.

"You really believe in ghosts, Mom?"

"Yes," Johanna answered. "After all, your father did take me to a haunted hotel and things happened there."

"I can imagine," Kate said with a smirk. "Things seem to happen between the two of you wherever you go."

"She didn't mean the fun, sexy kind," Jim remarked. "Believe me, there was none of that."

She cringed a little as she shook her head at her father. "You must've been so disappointed."

"A little," he said with a nod; "But listening to her yell at me to get the ghost to quit touching her has been a long lasting memory that always inspires laughter."

Johanna glared at him playfully. "You were just as spooked as I was; don't even deny it."

"Once in awhile it got a little creepy…but I'm game to go back if you want to."

"No thanks."

"You should go there, Katie. The Balfour is still open."

"I think I'll pass; and please don't mention it to Castle. I'm not spending my honeymoon in a haunted hotel no matter how cool he might think it is."

Jim smiled. "I'll keep it to myself for now…unless you give me reason to use that information against you."

"Really? You'd do that to your daughter?"

"I might so you better toe the line," her father teased.

"I'll do my best; but if I end up in a haunted hotel for my honeymoon; I'm naming my first kid after one of Mom's ex-boyfriends just to torment you."

"That's cold," Jim replied. "We should've named you Elizabeth because you're just as cold as she could be."

"Don't worry, honey," Johanna said; "I'll name that kid myself before it gets named after an ex-boyfriend…or one of your ex-girlfriends."

Jim nodded. "Good; I'll distract her while you grab the birth certificate."

Kate shook her head. "Breakfast with the two of you is always chalk full of interesting conversations."

"We know," her father stated; "You should stop by here for breakfast more often and be a part of it."

"Maybe I will," she said; although they all knew she wouldn't…but sometimes, she wished she did spend a little more time there.

* * *

Kate felt an odd sense of unease as she sat at the table after her father had left for work. She should probably be going too…and yet she hadn't moved from the chair. She kept waiting for the inevitable mention of Christmas but her mother hadn't uttered the word once. Part of her was relieved…after all, they had made an agreement of sorts, one that stated that holidays together weren't required…but still; she thought her mother would've mentioned her plans just for the sake of them being known…or for a dash of Mom guilt as an un-returnable Christmas gift.

"Are you okay, Katie?" Johanna asked as she glanced away from the newspaper.

"Yeah; why wouldn't I be?"

"You got quiet," she replied. "And you're pushing the rest of your breakfast around on your plate."

"Oh, I was just thinking about things I have to do," Kate answered. "I'm sure work won't stay quiet for long."

"It never does, does it?"

"No…but it would be nice if we could close out the year quietly for a change."

Johanna nodded. "I know the feeling."

Kate shifted in her chair. "What are you…um…what are you and Dad going to do for Christmas?" she asked, although she hated to…but it felt like the elephant in the room.

Johanna stiffened a little, the question catching her off guard as she hadn't expected her daughter to so much as utter the word Christmas around her. "I'm hoping we'll be up at the cabin," she replied. "Your father isn't sure if he wants to go but I'm working on convincing him."

"Why doesn't he want to go?"

"I don't know; he never really gives a reason; just that he hadn't planned on us going anywhere but like I said, I'm working on convincing him."

"What if you can't?"

She met her eye. "I will."

"What makes you so sure? He might not want to go."

"I'll just threaten to go by myself again."

"Why is it such a big deal that you go to the cabin?"

"It doesn't have to be the cabin, I'm willing to go anywhere," Johanna replied; "But he didn't like the idea of vacation type trip so I'm hoping we can just go up to the cabin, preferably a few days before the holiday and stay there until after the New Year. I want to get out of here before the last minute deluge of holiday crap gets started."

"You used to like that deluge."

"Well I don't anymore," Johanna said firmly. "It's just another day to me, nothing more and nothing less."

Kate shifted in her chair once more, wishing she hadn't brought up this topic. "I noticed that you didn't decorate."

"No; I haven't…and I don't intend to…which I think I made clear after last year so it shouldn't surprise you."

"I just thought you'd at least put the tree up…that was always a big deal to you."

"I'm over it, Katie," Johanna replied as she got up from the table and carried her plate to the sink. "That part of my life is in the past. My child is grown and I'm no longer responsible for providing her with a Christmas. My parents are gone, my siblings busy with their own children and grandchildren. You have your own family, in a manner of speaking; I have no grandchildren. It's just me and my husband now and I don't see any reason for the two of us to go through all the damn nonsense when it only ends up causing trouble in the end. I just want to go away and let it pass quietly."

Kate bristled a little. "I'm not stopping you!"

"Believe me, I know you wouldn't."

Her daughter sighed a little. "I just wanted to know your plans so I'll know where you're at."

"Why?" her mother asked; after all, things weren't always great between them…and she wasn't a fool, she knew Katie had no desire to spend the holiday with her in any way.

"I don't know," she exclaimed; "I guess I just figure I should know where my parents are! I wasn't going to tell you not to go; I want you to do what makes you happy. If going to the cabin for Christmas makes you happy, then go…but Dad probably doesn't want to go because that's where he spent all of his Christmases without you."

"Well he can go there and spend one with me this time," she retorted. "I do not want to be here for Christmas."

"Then go!" Kate all but yelled.

"I am as soon as I can get your father in the car! Don't worry, I won't be anywhere near you and I won't be expecting to see you nor inviting you to do anything, I won't even call. We made an agreement and I intend to stick to it, so please don't worry. I won't be disturbing you for Christmas. I learned my lesson last year and I learned it well."

The eggs she swallowed suddenly tasted a little bitter and it stirred her temper instead of her compassion and sympathy. "You're going to stick to the no gift thing too, right?"

Johanna sighed. "Yes, Katie; I won't buy you a gift since you get so uptight about it. I'm only buying some gifts for my husband. I'll get a toy for Ally and one for Dylan and a few giftcards for Gabby. Anyone else who needs a gift will get a giftcard too. I'm not going out of my way this year."

"I'm sure your credit card companies will appreciate that."

"I don't care who does and who doesn't."

"I don't think I've ever heard you sound so sour about the holiday season," Kate commented.

"I've been sour on it for a long time," Johanna remarked.

"You weren't last year; you were all gung ho about it."

"It was a feeble attempt at reclaiming a semblance of the past and a lesson to be learned."

"And what lesson is that?"

"That the past can't be recaptured and some things have to be left there."

"And you picked Christmas?"

"Yeah; I did," Johanna replied. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

"No, of course not. It's not something I like to deal with either but I have to since I'm engaged now. You are going to make fudge though, right?"

"No, I'm not making any fudge," her mother remarked as she picked up her cup of coffee and took a sip.

"Why not?"

"Why should I?"

"Because you always make fudge at Christmas."

"I made it last year; you didn't come around so you didn't get any. I threw half a container full in the garbage when we got back from the cabin. It was a waste."

"But Dad loves fudge….and I might've wanted a piece if you made it this year."

"I'll give you the recipe; you can make your own. It's not that hard."

"It's easier if you make it."

"I'm not making any fudge, Katie," Johanna said firmly. "I'm not baking any Christmas cookies, I'm not making peppermint cakes, I'm not making a big holiday meal. I'm not doing it."

"Have you told Dad this?"

"Yes, I have."

"He's really going to be mad if there's not a big meal for him to eat on Christmas."

"I will make him a nice meal at the cabin."

"You're not sure he wants to go," Kate remarked; "So I guess I better bring him a plate from our dinner just to make sure he gets fed on Christmas since you're apparently in a mood."

"I'm not going to let my husband go without dinner," Johanna retorted. "I'll be making dinner no matter where we are; it's just not going to be a big deal."

"Why are you so moody this morning?" her daughter asked.

"Because I didn't sleep well," she answered; which she hadn't slept well but she also didn't like the topic of Christmas…especially with her daughter. "Didn't you hear that thunder?"

"Yes, I heard it," Kate replied as she shifted in her seat. "Scarlett didn't like it."

"How do you know?"

"She camped out in my room," she answered.

"How did she get in? She was in the guest room when I went to bed."

"She scratched at my door in the middle of the night and I got up and let her in," Kate replied. "Aren't you going to get Scarlett a gift?"

"Of course I'm getting Scarlett a gift," Johanna remarked. "She's my baby."

"I thought I was your baby."

"You are…but Scarlett is my second baby and she doesn't mind gifts. In fact, she welcomes them."

"So the cat is better than me in that respect, right?"

"I didn't say that at all."

"It felt implied."

"How you interpret things isn't my problem, Katie," Johanna remarked. "I'm done with the conversation about Christmas now though. When our plans are finalized, I'll let you know…I'll let you know when we get to the cabin and I'll let you know when we get back home."

"Fine; that's all I ask. I can't break that habit yet, Mom."

"I know," Johanna said, her tone softening; "And I don't have a problem with that. I'm sorry…I just didn't sleep good last night and I don't like to talk about Christmas. I wish I could just forget it was coming or fast forward to New Year's. I didn't mean to be short with you."

"It's alright," Kate replied; "It's not like I've never done it to you."

"I know…but I try not to do it when I haven't really been provoked."

"I brought up a topic you don't like, therefore, I provoked you."

"But still, I should've tried harder to ignore the feeling that springs up when that topic is mentioned. I'm sorry, Katie."

"It's fine, Mom," she said softly. "You're allowed to be in a bad mood sometimes, okay?"

"I try to keep it to myself as much as possible when that mood strikes."

"I think maybe you'd feel better if you had more to do and less time to focus on things like what you won't be doing for holidays."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "I have plenty of things to do. I have a house to take care of, a husband to take care of, a cat to take care of; plus I do a little of your father's legal work."

"Maybe you should get your own job…maybe that would be good for you."

"Yeah; I'll just give my husband a stroke for Christmas and announce that I'm opening up my own law practice. That's the perfect gift for my family."

"I wasn't implying that you go back to practicing law; that's the last thing anyone wants you to do. I was suggesting that maybe it's time for you to get back to teaching law. Why don't you get in touch with Columbia?"

She knew, Johanna thought to herself…she had to know; why else would she bring up teaching at Columbia? She somehow had to know about the offer that she had received. "Who told you?" she asked.

Kate gave her an odd look. "Told me what?"

"About Columbia?"

"Mom, what the hell are you talking about? I've always known that you taught semesters at Columbia; you took me with you at times. I sat in the classes."

"That's not what I meant! I meant who told you that they offered me a damn job!?"

Surprise flicked across Kate's face. "Columbia offered you a position?"

"You know they did; that's why you brought it up! Who told you…or who do you know that you asked to give your burden of a mother a job so she won't be anyone's problem anymore?!"

Kate shook her head. "Okay, before you let the hurricane roll out, first of all, I don't know anyone connected to the faculty or staff at Columbia so I didn't ask anyone to offer you a job nor have I called you a burden. I thought we got off that train of thought a long time ago. Second; no one told me you had gotten an offer, because again, I don't know anyone who would know that…but since I do know now; you want to tell me about it?"

"Damn it," Johanna muttered. "This is what happens when I don't sleep well."

"Yeah; apparently we should talk more when you haven't slept well. I learn things. So when did you get this offer?"

"A few weeks ago."

"And what exactly is the offer?"

"The offer is for either a part time position or a full time one."

"Permanent or temporary like it used to be?"

"Permanent," Johanna answered.

"And if you take it, which position would you prefer?"

"Part time."

"Why not full time?"

"Because I like spending time with my husband, we like to travel…I don't want full time."

"Okay; then take the part time; what classes?"

"That's to be discussed further if I decide to call them."

"And when do you need to do that by?"

"Soon."

"What does Dad think of it?"

Johanna glanced away. "I haven't told him."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not taking it; I'm needed here."

"For what?" Kate exclaimed. "Dad works most days and you're here with the cat. Take the job, Mom. You like teaching and it'll be good for you to get back out there. Call and schedule a time to go talk to them."

"It's not that easy!"

"It can be if you let it. Dad isn't going to object; just tell him and see what he says. You know he'll tell you to take it if you want it."

"I'm not sure I want it."

"I don't see why not."

She rubbed her fingers across her forehead. "Katie, I don't want to talk about this right now and I'd appreciate it if you don't mention it to your father."

"So you're going to blow the perfect offer? That's your school, Mom. You graduated from there, you went back every time they called and taught classes to give back…you know you'll feel at home there. You know you like teaching. Just do it."

"I'll make my decision when I'm ready," she stated. "Don't you have to be getting to your job?"

Kate smirked at her. "So you're ready to be rid of me now?"

"No, not at all; I just don't want you to be late for work."

"Sure," Kate said as she glanced at her watch; "But I guess it is time for me to go."

"I'm glad you came over last night; it was nice to watch Temptation Lane with you."

"Yeah; that was good," she agreed as she carried her dishes to the sink. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Anytime," her mother stated as she got up from her chair to walk her to the front door. "You can come back tonight if the heat in your building still hasn't been fixed."

"Castle and I are going out tonight so I'll probably end up at the loft," Kate said as they reached the entryway.

Johanna gave a nod. "Well, if anything would change, you know you're always welcome to take up residence in your old room."

"I know…it was nice being here last night."

"I'm sorry this morning wasn't quite so nice."

Kate shook her head as Scarlett trotted into the entryway to join them. "It's okay, Mom; I didn't really sleep all the great either at first. I had things on my mind and there was that thunder…that was enough to jerk everyone out of their sleep."

"Your father barely flinched," Johanna said with a laugh.

She laughed softly. "Leave it to Dad to be the one person who wasn't disturbed."

"He's special like that," her mother replied with a smile.

"Yeah; he is," she said as she pulled on her jacket and then picked up her overnight bag she had placed near the door that morning and her purse. "I better get going. I'll talk to you later…lock the door."

"I will," Johanna replied as Kate opened the front door before turning back and hugging her.

"I love you," Kate murmured as she held onto her tightly for a moment.

"I love you too. Be careful."

"I always am," she told her as she released her.

Scarlett meowed and rubbed against Kate's ankle. "I'll see you next time fur ball," she told her as she stooped down and petted her for a few moments.

"She loves you, Katie."

"I think she's just lulling me into a false sense of security," she remarked.

"Oh she is not. Bring her a toy next time and play with her; she likes that."

"Yeah; I'll see what I can pick up for her," Kate said with a nod as she got back to her feet.

"Have fun tonight," her mother told her.

"I will…why don't you try to get some more sleep," Kate suggested.

"I might do that after I do my morning housework," Johanna replied. "Don't worry; I'll be fine."

"I know you will be. I'll talk to you later."

"Talk to you later," Johanna said as her daughter pushed through the screendoor. She locked it and watched as Katie made her way to her car and got it, giving her a wave as she did so. Once she pulled away from the curb, Johanna closed the front door and locked it too, glancing down at Scarlett as she did so. "Your sister went to work; it's you and me again."

Scarlett meowed and headed for the living room, Johanna following behind her to see what she was up to. The cat headed for her bed and climbed into it, curling up with a soft meow. "Really?" Johanna asked; "Eating breakfast exhausted you and now you need a nap?"

Her pet meowed once more. "Alright, sweetie; you take your nap. I'll be in later to watch TV."

* * *

Johanna headed back to the kitchen, feeling the dip in the air temperature as she went to the sink and grabbed the damp dishcloth before heading to the table to wipe it down. She knew what the drop in temperature meant…and she wasn't sure she was up for a ghostly visitor today.

"You were a bit harsh when the topic of Christmas came up," Sarah stated as she materialized in the chair that Kate had vacated minutes before.

"That's because I'm sick of that topic," Johanna remarked as she wiped off the table.

"I don't see why; I mean it is the season for the topic."

"You know good and damn well why, Sarah," she replied. "You've been driving me crazy with it. Katie isn't interested in spending a second of the holiday with us so why should I want to discuss it with her? We made a deal; I'm sticking to it…and that's what she wants too, that's why she made sure that I'm not getting her a gift."

"I think you should get her a little gift," the spirit remarked.

"No, I'm not. I did that last year and it all got returned. Jim is free to get her his usual envelope full of giftcards but I'm respecting her wishes and getting her nothing."

Sarah pursed her lips. "You won't feel good about it."

"I didn't feel good about making all of those returns last year either but no one cared about that."

"You're a little testy today, darling; what's wrong?"

"I didn't sleep well, as you know."

Sarah's dark brow rose. "No, I don't know…I was busy last night. What disturbed you, dear?"

"For one thing there were loud cracks of thunder; which seemed very odd for this time of year."

"Oh that was nothing to fear; usually those things happen when someone is trying to make a point somewhere," Sarah remarked.

"Why should I have to be startled out of my bed so someone else can get a point?" Johanna asked.

"Ours is not to question why, darling. Now tell Grandma what else is troubling you today."

"It troubles me to think of you as Grandma when you look young enough to be my daughter."

"I could look older if I wished, but I don't like to so I don't," Sarah remarked; "Now, come on, tell me what's bothering you."

"I had bad dreams," Johanna remarked.

"Oh?" Sarah said with concern. "What kind of bad dreams?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she muttered as she moved to the sink to wash the breakfast dishes.

"That bad?"

Johanna said nothing as she went about her task of filling the sink with soap and water.

"Dreams can't hurt you, darling…neither can thunder, although I imagine it isn't a nice soundtrack for dreams."

"No, it isn't."

"Was there anyone in your dreams that I might know and can have a word with?"

"No."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

Sarah was quiet for a few moments as Johanna dunked dishes beneath the suds. "It was about Katie, wasn't it?"

"I hate when you do that," she remarked.

"Read your thoughts?" Sarah asked. "Well, kitten; sometimes you don't give me a choice. You dreamed that she was lost…not in a physical sense so to speak…but lost as in the fact that she had separated from you completely. It reminded you of your time in Wyoming, only this was much worse because you had been shunned instead of just cut off from her."

"I don't know why you ask questions when you seem to know everything," her granddaughter stated.

"I think someone needs a nap," Sarah said in a sing song voice.

"It's hard to nap with a ghost in the house."

"I'll be going soon; contrary to popular belief, you're not the only person I speak with…or deal with…or annoy."

"Good to know," Johanna replied. "Who's next on your list?"

"I'm afraid I can't share that information with you."

"Of course not; you never can share anything."

Sarah smiled a little as she crossed the room to stand next to her. "Perhaps for Christmas, I could spook your sister and tell you all about it as a little gift to you. Would you like that?"

A hint of a smile tugged at Johanna's lips. "I kind of think I would."

"Alright then, I shall scare the bejesus out of her."

"That would be great…any way you can film that so I can see it?"

"I'll see what I can do…and you should make some fudge so Jim isn't disappointed…along with that peppermint cake."

She shook her head. "I don't think I can make the cake."

"Why not? He's asked you for it."

"I don't know why he's asked for it, I made it last year and he didn't like it…he said it didn't taste the same; that I forgot and made my own cake mix instead of using the boxed white cake mix he preferred. I ended up throwing it in the garbage…which seemed fitting. Everything seemed to crash and burn into a big heap of garbage last year. He complained about helping me put up the tree. He didn't like our cake as much as he used to…the fudge got left behind when we left for the cabin shortly before New Year's. Everything was just…terrible…all the Christmases I spent alone and I think my first one back home was even worse than the ones I spent with a bottle of wine, drowning in tears and memories. You just can't go back, Sarah; there's just no going back. Beckett family Christmases are over and I've made my peace with it."

"I don't think you're all that peaceful about the decision," Sarah remarked. "So things went wrong last year…so you tried a little too hard and they didn't try at all. All you need is a little balance; a little mix of new and old and you'll find a way to have a happy Christmas again."

"I just really want it to be done," Johanna said tiredly.

"It won't ever be done, Josie. If you shun the holiday, the wound will just fester and you'll grow bitter every time December sets in."

Johanna sighed deeply. "I just want to go to the cabin with Jim and let this one slip by quietly."

"You could stay home and put up the tree you bought last year…and buy a few gifts…and bake a few things."

"I'm not having this argument today, Sarah."

"What are you going to do one day when you have a grandchild? If you get into the habit of running away from Christmas; eventually you'll be running away from memories you should be making with your grandchildren."

"I'll worry about that day when it gets here…and besides; it won't be my choice. It'll be up to Katie and Rick if I get to see my grandchildren on the holidays; and if I'm not invited and they decline any invitation I extend, then it's not my fault."

"I would expect you to fight for your right to be involved."

"I'm kind of tired of fighting at the moment," Johanna admitted. "Wedding planning is going to be in full swing soon and it'll probably be a fight just to keep my foot in that…the few meetings we've had about that have been dominated by Martha, so…I have enough battles coming up. I don't need to look to the future for more."

Sarah glanced at her. "You didn't ask Katie what her plans are for Christmas."

"I don't need to ask; I know. She'll either be at work or at Rick's…or a combination of the two."

"You could squeeze yourself in there if you really wanted to."

"That's the thing, Sarah; I don't really want to. I know it makes me sound terrible but I just don't want to. We had that big blowout last year and she told me how it is and how it was going to be and I accept that. I agreed that I wouldn't expect her to spend any portion of the holidays with me and I'm going to respect her wishes."

"Even if it hurts you to do so?"

Johanna met her eye. "It's what my family wants and needs. Jim doesn't care much for Christmas…because of me…because I hadn't gotten around to taking down the decorations yet when I had to leave. So to him, it was still Christmas. Katie doesn't want to spend the holiday with me because again, I ruined Christmas. Maybe if I had gotten things taken down and put away, it would've made some difference but I was busy and then I was spiraling out of control…and now this is how it has to be. I'm fine with that…it's okay for it to be over for me. Christmas is a lot of stress and I don't need it. I just wish I could make you understand that."

"And I wish that I could make you understand that Christmas is what you make it…and you could make it be something other than it is right now."

"I do understand…and I'm choosing to make it nothing."

Sarah sighed. "I have so much work to do…and you're making it so difficult; really, darling; I think you've got a healthy dose of your grandfather in your veins."

"From what I know, he clearly thought I was all you," Johanna remarked.

"He was wrong and I'll tell him so later," her grandmother declared.

She gave her a small smile. "Don't stress, Sarah; I'll be fine. It's just a difficult time to get through but one day it'll be easier. I'll be fine, I promise."

"I want you to be better than fine."

"Sometimes you have to settle for what you can get," Johanna told her. "Trust me, I know all too well."

The spirit looked slightly disgruntled and unhappy as she digested the statement. This wasn't going well at all and it was starting to ruffle her feathers. Why did her grandchildren have to be such a stubborn lot? Well, she had some idea of why they were so damn stubborn…and she'd give Patrick McKenzie an earful for passing along that gene…and then she'd give her son an earful as well. Great, now she was cranky too she thought. Sarah sighed. She was going to need to consult with some relatives who were more like minded and who resided in her own realm. She had one particular person in mind.

"I've got to be going now, Josie," Sarah remarked.

"Already? You've barely brow beat me today."

"Yes, I know…but you're cranky and need a nap; and please do take one, your home will be ghost free and the weather is clear, no thunder in the forecast. I, on the other hand, have things to do."

"Oh?" Johanna said with a raised brow. "I think I've suddenly been demoted."

"Not at all, kitten; you're just going to require a little more thought so I can get through that thick skull of yours."

She smiled. "You're one to talk. I'll see you around though."

"You can count on that," Sarah remarked before disappearing from her granddaughter's view. She was nowhere near done with her granddaughter or her great granddaughter. She just needed to have a consultation…plan out her strategy a little more. There would be Christmas in this family; one way or another.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Thanks for your reviews. Sorry for the delay._

Chapter 12 – A Meeting of Minds

Sarah McKenzie didn't often have to seek counsel when dealing with one of her subjects; but when it came to her fiery, stubborn granddaughter, she felt like she needed all the help she could get. That girl was just trying her patience…and while she considered herself a patient woman, she still had her limits and so she found herself sitting with her daughter-in-law, hoping to find a solution to her problem. "What am I going to do with her, Naomi?" Sarah asked.

Naomi sighed as she leaned back in her chair. "That's not an easy question to answer; she's stubborn…she was born that way thanks to your son's gene pool."

"Now don't go blaming it all on us," Sarah remarked. "I've meet your family, Naomi; you're all just as bad as we are…including you."

"That's a matter of opinion."

"Perhaps so but that's not our main concern at the moment," Sarah declared; "I'm running out of ideas. How am I going to get through to Johanna? Nothing I say or do seems to be making a difference…she's so set on being done with the holiday and I don't know how to change her mind."

"If there's one thing I can say about my girl, it's that when she puts her mind to something, she tends to stick with it," Naomi remarked. "Why do you think she ended up being a lawyer? I tried to sway her into teaching and she didn't want anything to do with it."

"And yet later on, she ended up teaching law, even before she had to go to Wyoming. Her university wants her to come back and join the teaching staff."

"I wish she would accept," Naomi replied. "It would be good for her…it would get her out of her shell a little bit."

"She's hiding the letter from Jim."

Naomi's brow rose. "Perhaps he needs to find it."

"I've had that thought myself but I'm not sure how to accomplish it without being obvious that I set it up," Sarah confessed. "I mean what reason would he have to go into her top desk drawer where she's keeping it?"

"Perhaps needs some kind of office supply that she keeps in that drawer."

"Like what?"

Naomi thought for a moment. "Paperclips…he uses a lot of paperclips for his papers. Perhaps you should take all of his paperclips so that he'll look in Johanna's desk for a few to tide him over…and you make sure the letter is in sight."

"That could work," Sarah said with nod; "I'll give it a try…but it doesn't solve the problem of Christmas."

"I know," Naomi said with a frown. "Part of the problem is that damn deal she made with Katie not to celebrate together in any way, shape or form."

Sarah sighed. "Yes, Katie is a big problem. Another stubborn woman in this family…too stubborn if you ask me."

"You won't get any argument out of me about that," Naomi stated. "Katie's much worse than Johanna…but that may be my fault, I did wish it on Johanna to have a daughter just like her or worse…in hindsight that might not have been the best thing to do to my daughter…but sometimes she drove me crazy and I just wanted her to know the feeling. Katie's taken that feeling too far though."

"Yes, she has…the stubborn little brat. She needs a good slap…at least once a week, if you ask me," Sarah remarked.

Naomi nodded. "I gave her mother the occasional slap when she really needed it…it was one of those double edged sword things, on one hand I felt bad for doing it but on the other it always felt kind of good when she was being especially trying on the nerves."

Sarah giggled. "I can imagine."

"Johanna is stubborn," Naomi stated; "Stubborn and set in her ways…she's so much like her daddy; although she won't ever admit that. It's hard to get through to them when it's something they feel strongly about."

"So what am I going to do? I was hoping you could help me find a solution."

Naomi sighed softly. "It might require drastic measures, Sarah."

"Just how drastic are we talking?"

"Knowing my girl, as drastic as it can get…you may just have to take matters into your own hands."

Sarah frowned. "There's so much to do and so little time…I'm trying to work on Johanna; trying to work on Katie…but nothing is going the way I had hoped. Katie's going to dig her heels in even more than Johanna does."

"At least you scared her into spending a night with her mother," Naomi remarked. "Johanna is always happy to see her."

"Yes, I know…I just wish I could be guaranteed that they would see each other for Christmas."

Naomi gave her a sympathetic smile. "It may be out of our hands, Sarah."

"That's not acceptable," her mother-in-law stated. "This is my mission; I don't want to fail."

"I don't want that either…but you know that sometimes we do."

"I hate that," Sarah huffed. "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I won't accept total defeat."

"You'll accept partial defeat?"

"Only if absolutely necessary…and it's not necessary yet."

"So what are you going to do?" Naomi asked.

"I don't know…and you're being absolutely no help at all."

Naomi laughed. "I told you to take matters into your own hands…if she won't decorate, than maybe you need to do a little decorating for her."

Sarah's dark brow rose, a gleam glowing in her green eyes. "Now that's an idea I can get behind…I just have to find the right time to do it so I don't get caught."

"That shouldn't be too hard," the other woman replied; "Just wait until she and Jim are…occupied with each other."

"I try to stay out of their house when they are…occupied with each other," Sarah remarked.

"No one can blame you for that but it's probably a sure fire time period when she could care less about what may be going on in her living room," Naomi replied. "They've always been a very amorous couple."

"That's true…I suppose I could slip in the downstairs while they are occupied and spread some Christmas cheer."

"Of course you can…just stay away from the upstairs."

"Oh most definitely…I wonder if they have any plans any time soon."

"Perhaps something can be arranged," Naomi remarked. "Maybe they need to go to one of those office holiday parties they used to go to in the past. Jim still does some work for the firm he belonged to, I'm sure he's still invited to such things. Perhaps you should find out if that's the case and then encourage him to talk Johanna into going for a little while…tell him to make it special, a nice dinner, the party…whatever else it is they do that inspire those feelings of romance by the time they get home."

Sarah laughed. "This almost sounds like it's turning into some early Valentine's Day endeavor."

Naomi shook her head. "They don't have any trouble with that holiday…they're all about that one."

"Well it's no wonder…they do seem to greatly enjoy all aspects of their marriage…especially those 'amorous' aspects."

"Yes, there's no doubt about that," Naomi agreed. "But you're just going to have to set things in motion so you can take some initiative."

"Yes, I suppose so," Sarah sighed; "I shall pop into Jim's automobile this evening when he's ready to go home. I just have to remember to loudly announce myself. He hates when I don't announce myself"

Naomi smiled. "Give him my love and tell him that I demand that he cooperates."

"I will," she replied. "Perhaps that will make him extra cooperative."

"That would be nice," Naomi agreed. "Now that you have some idea about what to do with Johanna for the moment; what are your plans for Katie?"

"For the moment I'm continuing on the path of annoyance," she remarked. "Her phone plays random Christmas music and drives her crazy…I've hidden her car keys…I've messed up her closet; she really didn't like that. I occasionally annoy her by speaking to her while remaining out of sight; that frightens her a bit…I quite enjoy it."

Naomi laughed. "And yet she's still digging in her heels?"

"Yes…I may have to think harder in her case too. I swear, there's no sense in a girl being as stubborn as that one."

"Well, she has a lot of stubborn genes in her…I wish I had better ideas to share, Sarah; but I'm afraid I'm at a loss. All I can say, in the case of Johanna, is that sometimes if you push too much, she'll balk and she'll run from whatever it is."

"I have to push her though," Sarah replied; "Jim certainly won't and Katie is very happy not to share holidays with her mother, the ungrateful little brat. It seems to me that Jim and Katie are fine with her being this way because it plays into what they wanted last year which was nothing…so they balked at everything she wanted to do and in the end, spoiled the few good memories she made. She doesn't even wear that bracelet Jim gave her for Christmas last year. She's so sure that shunning the holiday is what is best and what they want that she won't even consider what she wants or needs…and neither do they. Neither one of them is going to go out of their way to make sure she has a semblance of happiness for Christmas."

Naomi nodded. "I know…it's a feeling we all suffer through at one time or another. I know that Jim loves her more than anything; but you're right…her desire to be done with the holiday plays into his desire to not deal with it. I know you've encouraged him to make effort at getting her interested but it hasn't bothered him a bit that she didn't take the bait."

"I know…I feel like I'm failing."

"It's not your fault, Sarah."

She frowned. "I'm not good at being a grandmother."

"That's not true at all; you're a wonderful grandmother...you're just up against stiff competition," Naomi declared. "She is a McKenzie after all."

"Yes, that is true," Sarah replied. "I'm just going to have to try harder. I'll start with finding out if Jim has a party to take her to so I can take that initiative we talked about."

"Good idea," Naomi agreed; "While you work on it, I'll see if I can think up some other ideas to help you along."

"Thank you," Sarah said with a smile as she patted Naomi's hand. "Let's hope I start having more success."

* * *

As Jim got in his car after work that day, his phone began to blare music. "Sarah," he muttered.

"I was just loudly announcing myself as you requested," Sarah remarked as she appeared in the passenger seat.

Jim sighed. "Does this mean you're riding home with me again?"

"Yes, take the long way."

"No," he replied as he put the key in the ignition. "Traffic is bad enough; I don't need to add time to my commute."

"Johanna always takes the long way when I ask."

"Then take your rides in Johanna's car," he replied as he backed out of his parking space.

"You seem a bit testy today."

Jim sighed. "It's been a long day, Sarah; what do you want?"

"Well for starters I'd like for you to not act like I'm a thorn in your side."

"Feeling sensitive today, Sarah?" he asked.

"Perhaps a little."

"Pms?" he quipped.

"That's not funny," she remarked.

Jim shrugged a little. "I thought it was."

"It wasn't…see what sour moods do, they spread and now I feel a bit cranky."

"Good lord," he muttered; "Work has been a pain all day and now I have moody ghost in my car. What brings you by, dear grandmother-in-law?"

"Don't get sarcastic," Sarah remarked.

"Very demanding today...I see where my wife gets it."

"Would you like me to tell your wife that you said that?"

Jim shook his head. "No, not at all."

"Then I suggest you be the nice young man your mother raised you to be," Sarah replied.

He laughed. "Who said my mother raised me to be a nice young man?"

"Just so you know, your mother heard that and she is not amused."

"That's nothing new," Jim quipped. "It's good to know the after life hasn't changed her much."

"She says if you keep it up, she may zap you one," Sarah replied; "And trust me, it won't be pleasant…just ask Johanna how she likes being flicked."

Jim glanced at her quickly. "Don't go around flicking my wife; she bruises easy."

"I've never marred her!" Sarah exclaimed. "That's something you can't say."

"I've never put bruises on her!"

"Oh yes you did," she replied; "A long time ago…a bad time in your marriage…you grabbed her arm very hard in your alcohol fueled rage and when she asked you to let go, you shoved her away and she fell."

Jim's jaw tightened. "Get out of my car, Sarah."

"No, I don't want to," she replied. "I know you didn't mean to hurt her that night; you weren't yourself…but you did leave a few little bruises in the shape of your fingerprints so you can't say you've never bruised her."

"You're right, I did and she should've shot me for it."

"She didn't have a gun."

"Then she should've left me."

"She threatened to," Sarah stated; "But you did what you needed to do so she wouldn't have to."

His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. "What's the point in bringing up a sore point of history?"

"It wasn't my intention…but like there were things you needed to do back then; there are things you need to do now."

"I don't think I've done anything to make Jo want to leave me, Sarah."

"Of course not; I didn't mean it that way at all. I just meant that she's in a funk and she needs to be pulled out of it."

"I wouldn't say she's in a funk," Jim remarked; "Believe me, I'd know if she was. She's just annoyed by a certain ghost pushing her idea of Christmas on her."

"I want her to be happy!" Sarah exclaimed. "Now listen, I was in your office while you were out to lunch today."

"That explains why things were moved around," he commented.

"Yes, it does…I saw an invitation to a holiday party at your office for this Friday."

"What about it?"

"Like I said; it's this week."

"And again, I say 'what about it'?"

"Have you mentioned it to Johanna?"

"No, I haven't."

"You should," Sarah replied; "I think you both should go."

"I don't think Jo will be interested in a holiday party."

"So get her interested," she exclaimed. "It would be good for her to get out of the house for a bit. I assume you'll both have friends in attendance?"

"Yes, of course…but I don't think she'll want to go."

"She will if you convince her in the right way," Sarah implored. "An evening with friends might improve her mood…even Naomi thinks so, we discussed it. She sends her love by the way."

He smiled a little. "Give my love to Naomi in return."

"She hears you, dear; and she thinks you should listen to me. Talk Johanna into going out to this party."

"I don't know," he sighed.

"Oh come on, you can convince her…use your charm, dear," she said with a smile. "Make it a special night out; a nice dinner, the party with friends…whatever else it is the two of you do on date nights."

Jim smiled. "Are you telling me to seduce my wife?"

Sarah gave him an appalled look. "Of course not! But if you wanted to, I'm sure that would also improve her mood…and yours."

He nodded. "That's a sure fire way to improve mine….stay out of my house tonight and maybe we can be happy by tomorrow."

"What you do tonight is your business; my concern in this party," Sarah replied; "I want the two of you to go and have a good time."

"Why is this so important, Sarah?"

"Because, maybe it'll remind her of happier times…you went to holiday parties in the past; you had good times at them, didn't you?"

"Yeah; we had good times at the office parties."

"Then convince her to go; it'll be good for her…for both of you. At least she'll have some sort of fun for the season."

"Hey, she has plenty of fun with me," Jim quipped; "We don't even need to leave the house."

"That is my granddaughter you're speaking about!"

"I know…but the statement stands."

Sarah huffed a little. "I'm sure you two are quite capable of amusing yourselves at home…but Friday night take her out before you get to the home version of amusement."

He sighed a little. "Alright, Sarah, I'll try."

"Try hard," she stated; "I'll be watching."

"All night?" he asked.

She shot him a knowing look. "Men; you all only worry about one thing."

"That's not true; I worry about plenty of things…I just sometimes like some distraction from those worries…and my wife is an excellent distraction."

"I'll make myself scarce by nine," she remarked; "That gives you a few hours to convince her…if you convince her quickly, I shall be out of your hair sooner and you can distract each other to your heart's delight."

"That's the best news I've heard all day," Jim replied. "I will give it my best effort."

"You do mean the convincing and not the distracting, right?" Sarah asked.

He smiled. "Both."

"I think I'll be going now," Sarah remarked; "I don't think I like how this conversation is going…somehow you got on the wrong track."

"It's your fault; it sounded like you wanted me to seduce my wife and once I start thinking about that...well, I have to see it through."

"Just like a man," she said with a shake of her head.

He chuckled. "Why don't you go see your husband, Sarah? Maybe he can distract _you_ for awhile…are spirits allowed to be affectionate toward each other?"

"That is none of your business, young man!" she exclaimed.

"I'll take that as a yes," he laughed. "Go on, go see him…get distracted."

"I don't have time for distractions!"

"Maybe it would improve your mood if you did."

Sarah eyed him. "Would you like me to hang around your house all night tonight and spoil _your_ hopes for distraction?"

"No, I wouldn't like that at all," he remarked.

"Then you mind your manners," Sarah said; "And remember, you better convince her because I'll be watching for awhile."

"I'll do my best," Jim promised.

"Good," she replied. "I'll be going now."

"See you around," he stated, a sigh of relief crossing his lips as the spirit disappeared from his car. Sometimes he wondered if he should be so blasé about a spirit popping in and disrupting their lives but then he figured what good would it do to be up in arms about it? Sarah was harmless…mostly, he thought to himself; but this Christmas bug she had was a tough one to see through. He didn't really want to push Johanna much on the topic; he knew all too well that he had hurt her the year before and he felt that he owed it to her to respect her feelings about the occasion. Apparently people in the spirit realm felt differently. He sighed deeply…he could probably talk her into the party easier than a full blown Christmas celebration; maybe Sarah would be happy with that and would move on with a new mission.

But as the radio began to turn the stations on its own, he had a feeling that wouldn't be the case at all…which was just his luck.

* * *

Some of the stress of work melted from his shoulders as Jim stepped inside the back door, the smell of dinner cooking meeting his nose and the sight of his wife greeting his eyes. She turned and smiled at him, her eyes lighting up and he couldn't help but smile back. "Hey, sweetheart," he said as he dropped his briefcase by the door and shrugged out of his coat.

"Hey," Johanna replied. "Dinner's almost ready."

He moved toward her, gently tugging her away from the stove so he could wrap his arms around her while he stole a kiss. "I missed you," he murmured, his lips skimming against hers once more.

"I missed you too; you look like you had a long day."

"I did," he confessed. "Very long…but it's better now that I'm here with you."

She smiled, her hand rubbing against his chest softly. "I'm sorry you had a bad day."

"It's alright, I'm home now. What are we having?" he asked with a nod at the crockpot she had plugged in on the counter.

"I made that recipe we saw in one of my magazines, the one for making ribs in the crockpot. You said you'd like to try it."

"It smells good," he remarked with a nod.

"I made potatoes to go with it and cole slaw."

Jim gave her a smile. "That sounds perfect."

"The ribs have another fifteen minutes before they're done."

"That's alright," he replied; "That gives us time to talk about something."

Tension filled her body as she remained in the circle of his arms. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong…but we've been invited to the firm's holiday party this Friday night."

"Aren't they having it kind of early?" she asked. "It always used to be the week of Christmas."

"They changed it a few years ago; people were complaining about being too busy that week to really have time to go to a party. We've been invited…"

"Yeah, you mentioned that."

"So what do you think of the idea?" he asked.

Johanna shrugged. "What do you think?"

"I thought maybe we should go."

"Why?"

"For old times sake if nothing else," Jim replied.

"I don't know, Jim."

"Come on, it'll be fun…Zach and Monica will be there and Antonio and Isabel; Jeff said him and Maggie will probably be there; Craig and his wife will be there. We'll have a lot of friends there; I thought you might enjoy seeing them."

"I do enjoy seeing our friends," she said with a sigh; "But you know how it is…everyone will want to talk about the holiday and it's not my favorite topic."

"I doubt there will be much discussion of it," Jim remarked.

She looked at him skeptically. "I'm sure there will be; what are we supposed to say when we're asked our holiday plans?"

Jim shrugged. "We'll say we haven't ironed out the final details yet and leave it at that. We don't have to get into specifics."

"Are you sure both of us were invited?" Johanna asked.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "Why wouldn't it be for both of us? We were both invited to that anniversary-reunion party earlier this year."

"Yeah; but I got looks…and I know people were talking about me," she replied.

"Of course you got looks; you're gorgeous," Jim remarked; "As for anyone talking about you, I didn't hear anything. Some of that is in your head and it's time to let it go. The trial and all of that has been over for awhile now…it's time to let it be in the past; and if someone does talk about you, then let them do it, it's their problem, not yours."

She frowned. "It kind of feels like mine but I'm not going to argue with you. I guess if you want to go, we'll go."

"Don't act like you're doing me a favor, Johanna."

"I'm sorry; how was I supposed to accept the invitation? Cartwheels? Squealing worthy of a prize winner on the Ellen show? Clapping and glee?"

"A simple I'd love to go would've sufficed," Jim remarked as he released her; "But I guess I should've known better. You've been in a mood since December set in."

"I would love to go," Johanna stated.

"You're just saying that because I told you to," he replied.

She sighed a little. "You could always go without me if you want; I won't be mad."

"Of course you wouldn't be mad!" he exclaimed. "It's what you want! I got married so I'd always have a date for these occasions and now, after all these years, you don't want to cooperate."

"I didn't realize that was on your list of reasons for marriage," she remarked. "I thought it was just guaranteed meals, laundry service and sex…I'm so sorry I missed number four and fell down on the job. I will be more than happy to fulfill my duty as your wife."

Jim sighed deeply. "Let's not go down that road. I shouldn't have mentioned the party…I wasn't going to and I should have stuck to that."

"Why?"

"Because I knew you'd act like this. Like I said, you've been in a mood since this month started."

A flicker of temper lit up her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jim; I get depressed this time of year. I try to fight it the best I can! I know I'm failing…I'm sorry."

The comment dampened a small measure of his frustration. "I know it's hard for you…but you've been doing so well the last several months that I hate to see those clouds creeping back in. I know it's a difficult time of year for a lot of people, including us…I know there are a lot of bad memories of the years you had to be away…and bad memories of your first Christmas home…but we have to put it behind us like we have a lot of things."

"It's not just that," she said quietly, a tear slipping down her cheek. "There's always been a little part of me that's found Christmas depressing ever since my mother died."

Jim shook his head. "We celebrated Christmas after Naomi passed."

"Yeah, we celebrated it…but it was never entirely the same to me," she cried.

"You did everything you always did, Jo…you never said anything."

"You didn't ask…you helped me push through the first Christmas without her…and the next year you had your own grief and Elizabeth to help through after the loss of Robert…and the year after that, we just went on but there was a little part of it that felt hallow in some ways."

Jim scoffed a little. "It's nice to know that you've been lying to me for longer than previously believed. I thought we managed to have some happy Christmases despite the loss of loved ones…apparently I was wrong."

"I didn't say there wasn't happiness; there was," she replied; "But there was a little part of me that always feels that ache of those we lost…like my mother…and I'm not going to stand here and believe that losing your parents didn't change the way you feel about the holiday in some small way."

"No, you're the one who did it in for me," Jim remarked sharply before he could stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth.

Johanna swallowed hard as she glanced away. "This is why I don't talk about it," she said quietly. "No matter what, it always comes back to that…and the impression that anything I've ever felt that isn't approved of is selfish and unequal to anything anyone else has felt. I'm sorry that missing my mother at Christmas is such a terrible thing…that despite having happiness with my family in those first few years without her, I also had sadness. I'm sorry that it's still lingering twenty years later…I guess I just need to get over it like everything else. I'll do better."

Jim rubbed his fingers across his forehead; they had gotten to a point where the words 'I'll do better' had faded from her most used phrases…and instead of promising to do better, she just allowed herself the time to get through whatever was bothering her…and he had learned to give her that time as well. But now he had allowed frustration to dictate his actions and he had once again thrown the past in her face. "I'm sorry, Jo; I didn't mean to say what I did."

"It was just the truth," she replied, her tone wobbling. "I can handle the truth…it's not like I don't already know it…that's why Christmas was a disaster last year. It's why you didn't want to help me decorate…why you didn't want to go with me to get a tree…it's why you didn't like the peppermint cake…it's why the majority of the fudge went in the garbage…it's why Katie's gifts were returned; why she doesn't want to be around me between November and January. It's okay…I know what I did…I know the cost. It can't ever be like it was before I went to Wyoming…and it can't ever be the way it was when my mom was here…it can't be the way it was when my father was here and my grandmother…when my sister loved me…when my daughter liked to be with me. I can't go back…I tried last year…I tried so hard and it blew up in my face. I can only go forward and it feels like some things have to be left in the past…like Christmas. You didn't want anything I tried to do last year; neither did Katie. This year I'm trying to ignore it and you don't seem to want that either…so why don't you figure out what exactly it is you want from me in regard to the holiday season and I'll do it, okay?"

"Johanna…please don't be this way."

"What way?" she said with a bitter laugh. "Which way do you want me to be?"

"I just want you to be happy."

"I'm happy when I'm with you," Johanna stated; "Except for this current moment where I find myself wishing you had worked late."

"I kind of wish I had too," he muttered as she turned away to fix their plates.

"Well maybe tomorrow you can work late," she commented. "What time is the party Friday? I need to know when I need to start getting ready."

Jim shook his head. "We don't have to go, Jo; maybe we're not ready for holiday parties."

"I'm ready," she declared as she used tongs to lay ribs on his plate. "Is it casual or dressy like it used to be?"

"I don't know."

"Well you need to find out," she stated while adding the potatoes to his plate.

"It's probably the same as always," he remarked.

"Fine," Johanna said as she pushed his plate into his hands. "Eat your dinner."

Jim carried his plate to the table and sat down; waiting for her to join him but she merely brought him a cup of coffee and sat it down in front of him before heading for the doorway of the room. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"To find Scarlett," she answered; "It's time for her to eat too."

"If she was hungry she'd be in here meowing," he replied; "Get your plate and sit down."

"I'm not really hungry if you want the truth," Johanna stated; "I'd rather find my cat. You go ahead and eat though…I'll get something later."

"You probably spent half the day making this."

"I made it for you; I couldn't care less about ribs," she remarked.

"Jo…."

"I just need a few minutes, Jim; okay? Just give me five minutes to get over going from being happy to see you to being slightly unhappy to see you, okay? Then I'll come back…and listen to what went wrong with your day and then I'll cut you a slice of pie and tell you that tomorrow will be better."

"I'd rather tonight be better."

"I'll work on it," she said as she left the room.

Jim sighed deeply, his own appetite waning as his phone began blare music. "Shut up, Sarah," he muttered as he pulled it from his pocket and silenced it.

"I could just throttle you," Sarah McKenzie stated as she appeared in the kitchen.

"I kind of wish you would," he admitted; "It's kind of hard to throttle yourself and right now I wish could."

"I told you to convince her to go to a party; not make her feel as low as a snail!" Sarah thundered. "How could you do that! How could you throw the past in her face like that? And all because she admitted that Christmas was never the same without her mother? How dare you! You don't have the sense God gave a goose! I am beyond furious with you right now!"

Jim nodded. "That's probably why my food suddenly feels cold."

"If that's the worst you get, consider yourself lucky," Sarah seethed. "You knew she'd balk at first…all she needed was a little sweet talk; not reminders of the past. You made her feel ashamed…you proved to her once again that she can't share everything that she feels; and that, young man, is what part of her problem is when it comes to things like this holiday…she feels like she can't fully discuss how something makes her feel because someone is always going to be there to remind her of the past and to imply that it's her fault anyway. You hurt her."

"I know, Sarah."

"All I asked was for you to convince her to go to a party!"

"She said she'd go…so technically, I did what you wanted."

Sarah's eyes narrowed, fire flashing in their green depths as she reached out and slapped him upside the head. "You big ninny!" she exclaimed.

"Ow," he yelped, rubbing the side of his head. "Don't do that!"

"I'll do whatever the hell I want," she declared; "You've done pissed me off…now I'm using un-ladylike words…do you see what your sour mood has done!?"

"I'm sorry," Jim replied.

"You should be…I guess you won't be getting that special brand of distraction you were looking to get tonight…serves you right," Sarah said snidely.

"Yeah; I probably won't be getting that kind of distraction for the rest of the week…maybe not even next week."

"Good! I just wish she had punched you in the mouth! Naomi certainly wanted to slap you."

"Does that mean she didn't send her love this time?"

"Not only does she not send it, she's taking it back from earlier," Sarah remarked. "I swear, I'm so angry I could scream."

"Please don't."

"I've got to go," Sarah said, her hands on her hips. "If I don't go away from here, I may get violent."

"I thought you already had."

"That was just the tip of the iceberg!" she exclaimed. "You better fix this you big…doofus!"

"Oh look, you're learning words form Johanna, that's cute," Jim replied.

"I'm glad to know I used it correctly," Sarah stated; "Fix it, doofus or next time, I slap you harder!"

"Something to look forward to," Jim muttered as Sarah disappeared from the room, his food still cold from her presence but he'd eat it anyway. He had already offended his wife, he wasn't about to add to it by asking her to reheat food that should still be hot…and he didn't trust Sarah not to break the microwave as punishment for his ill handling of the party invitation.

* * *

The clock read 2:04 when Jim rolled over that night, his hand reaching for his wife but finding emptiness instead. He frowned into the darkness, waiting a few minutes to see if she would return from a bathroom trip or a trip downstairs to get a drink…but by the time the clock hit 2:10, he figured she wasn't making her way back to bed. He scrubbed a hand over his face and got out of bed, making his way to the door. It had been a mostly quiet evening between them…she had shut out attempts at apologies and attempts at reopening the discussion. She had kept herself busy with housework that didn't need done and playing with Scarlett…keeping her nose buried in a book until it was time to turn out the lights once they had retreated to bed. She had accepted his kiss goodnight…but she had laid down and turned her back to him instead of snuggling up against him as she usually did. He hadn't been surprised…nor had he known what to do to make things better as their resident ghost had requested.

Jim sighed as he made his way downstairs, figuring that his wife was camped out on the couch watching television but the living room was dark. He flipped on the light but didn't find her asleep on the couch or in the chair…even Scarlett's bed was empty; which probably meant they were together wherever they were. He made his way to the kitchen but it was void of his wife's presence as well…he even checked the basement to see if she had gone downstairs to do some laundry but she wasn't there. A small knot of fear filled him as he headed toward the office only to find it empty as well.

Jim made his way back to the kitchen, going to the back door to make sure both cars were still in the driveway. They were both accounted for…she had to be in the house somewhere. He made his way back upstairs, checking the bathroom and Katie's room and then the guest room but he found no sign of his wife. His throat grew tight, his heart beating faster as he stepped back into the hallway; where had she gone and how?

"She's in the attic," a soft voice murmured.

Jim flinched at the sound and sight of Sarah as she appeared in the hallway. "The attic?" he repeated.

"Yes; she's been there for hours…she's reading."

He nodded; he hadn't thought of checking her little library he had created for her…she usually didn't go up there at night time.

"Are you going up?" Sarah asked.

"Yes," he replied. "I figure I probably should."

"I believe so," Sarah remarked; "Unless you really want to prove you have peas for brains."

"I don't want to do that," Jim stated quietly. "I'm going to go see if I can take care of my wife."

"Please do," the spirit remarked before she disappeared from sight.

Jim went to the attic door and eased it open so it wouldn't creak; the soft yellow glow of light at the top of the stairs spilling into the hallway. He moved up the stairs as quietly as he could and when he reached the top, he glanced to the right and found his wife curled up in her chair, the fluffy red throw he had given her for Christmas the year before wrapped around her and Scarlett sleeping on her lap. "Jo," he said softly as he moved toward her.

She glanced away from her book to meet his gaze. "What are you doing up?" she asked softly.

"Looking for you…I rolled over and you weren't there…and I couldn't find you in any other room of the house either which didn't do my heart any good."

"I'm sorry," Johanna murmured.

"What are you doing up here this late?" he asked; "It's chilly up here, sweetheart; you know we don't get much heat in here."

"I'm fine; I've got my blanket and Scarlett."

"I don't want you to be cold," Jim replied gently. "Why did you come up here?"

"I couldn't sleep; I figured I'd read…you can't sleep with the light on."

"Usually you just go downstairs to read for awhile."

She shrugged. "I felt like being here."

"Why?"

"I don't know…it just felt right," Johanna said quietly, one hand stroking Scarlett's fur as she held her book with the other.

"I don't want you to be cold," he remarked as he sat down on the trunk that held her childhood treasures.

"I'm fine…I didn't mean to worry you. Go back to bed; I'll be down when my eyes are tired."

"It's late."

"I know, I have my phone."

"Listen," he said quietly; "About the party…"

"I bought a dress," she stated.

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean you bought a dress?"

"I bought a dress for the party online," she replied. "Bloomingdales was having a sale on party dresses. I found a nice green one that looked suitable."

"The party is Friday; it might not get here in time."

"You paid for the fastest shipping option," Johanna replied.

"I'm generous like that," Jim remarked.

"You are," she agreed.

"We don't have to go though," he said gently.

She shook her head. "We'll go, it'll be fine. I haven't seen Isabel and Antonio in awhile; it'll be nice to see them."

"I know they're always happy to see you," he murmured; "But if you really don't…"

"We'll go," she said, cutting him off. "I already bought the dress."

"What about shoes?"

"I have a pair of green heels that will go well with the dress."

Jim remained seated on the trunk near her chair, silence filling the air between them for a few moments until finally he spoke. "I miss gingerbread," he said quietly.

Puzzlement furrowed her brow. "What?"

"When I think of my mother at Christmas, I think of gingerbread…that was her main thing at Christmas; she loved gingerbread. She didn't always like to have us underfoot in the kitchen when she was working on a meal or baking…but she always baked each of us our own batch of gingerbread men and she'd let us decide how we wanted them decorated. She always decorated them so nicely…they always looked like they could've come from some bakery uptown; and she'd make the gingerbread house too…sometimes with our help, sometimes without, it depended on how rowdy we were. You could smell that scent of gingerbread in the house for days…and it didn't truly feel like Christmas until I smelled that scent. Even as an adult, it didn't really seem like the season until I'd walk in there and smell gingerbread. That's what I think about when I think of her at Christmas…no one could make gingerbread like she did…and I haven't smelled that scent since the last time she made those cookies. I miss it…and her…I can't stand to see those gingerbread house kits in the store because I think of her…and how she'd say a kit was cheating," he said with a quiet laugh.

Johanna nodded. "She was very good at it…I remember that year when Katie was four and she had her help make the one for the church contest…and she won; beating her arch nemesis Virginia Hamilton Conway."

Jim chuckled softly. "Yeah…I was away on business, I missed it."

"You came home for Christmas though…that's all she wanted was to see you on Christmas."

"I know."

Silence fell once more as he waited for her to open up and expound further on the topic of Naomi since she had brought her up earlier; but she said nothing and he figured he couldn't blame her for her silence we he had gotten angry with her for bringing it up during their discussion before dinner.

"When I think of Naomi at Christmas," he said quietly; "I think of Christmas dinner a lot…watching her fuss with every detail and how she always kept everyone's plate full…and made me my own pumpkin pie to bring home. I think of the two of you playing Christmas songs on the piano…hearing her threaten Frank with the skillet when he'd start to annoy her about something," he said with a laugh.

"She threatened him with that a lot," Johanna replied.

"I know…and I remember Frank always going up to the attic under the guise of looking for the card table for extra guests when he knew damn well it was in the garage but he just wanted to hide for awhile," he laughed.

She nodded. "He always thought no one was wise to him but everyone knew."

Jim glanced at her as she subtly shifted in her chair…most likely in deference to the fact that she was hiding in the attic much like her father used to do. "What do you think of when you think of Naomi at Christmas?" he asked.

Johanna shrugged. "I remember everything."

"But what's the main thing you think of at Christmas? I know her absence makes the holiday sadder…but what specific thing about her at Christmas sticks out to you?"

"It's nothing, Jim," she said softly. "I shouldn't have said what I did earlier."

"It was the truth though, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was the truth but that doesn't mean it needed to be voiced. You know I miss my parents, I always have, I always will just like you miss yours. Holidays just push the feeling to the forefront."

"Jo."

"What?" she asked, a touch of aggravation in her voice.

"Tell me…please."

"Why? What does it matter? She didn't leave me on purpose…unlike what I did to you."

"You didn't leave for the hell of it; you left because you had no choice," Jim remarked; "And I had no right to slap you in the face with it earlier."

"It was just the truth."

"Jo…just talk to me, please?"

"Why? So I can offend you some more?" she asked.

"No; because I want to know…I told you mine."

"I didn't ask you to," she remarked.

"No, you didn't…but I volunteered so now it's like you own me one," he said, infusing some lightness in his tone.

She was quiet for a long moment but finally relented. "I miss going to church with her on Christmas Eve. We always went to midnight mass together until I had Katie; then we started going to the earlier evening mass because of her and because Grandma was getting older…but no matter what time we went, we always went together…all my life…and it made it Christmas. I couldn't stand to go the first holiday without her…and I didn't go the next year because no one wanted to go with me…and no one wanted to go any of the years after that. I didn't go in Wyoming either; church didn't seem like the place to be when you're lying to everyone. I wanted to go last year…I wanted to go and feel like I had before even if it hurt a little because she wasn't in the pew beside me. I wanted to go light candles like she always did…but no one wanted to go with me and going alone that late at night was out of the question given the attention on us. All my life I went with her and Grandma and my siblings…it was hard for us to go when we lost Grandma but Mom said we should go anyway and I did without question because she said we were going with the same authority she had used since I was little. We didn't get through it without some tears, having that empty space in the pew…but we were there…and we lit the candles and went home and carried on for husbands and kids and grandchildren. No one made me go once she was gone; and when I felt ready, no one wanted to go then either…because the tradition had done died with her…and it never totally felt like Christmas again."

"I'm sorry, Jo," he told her. "I should've taken you to the Christmas mass last year…and those years before you had to leave. I usually always went with you…I guess once Naomi was gone it didn't seem like there was a reason to go. That was such a big part of her that without her I guess I didn't think it would seem right."

"It probably wouldn't seem right," Johanna murmured; "But it's what I think of most."

Jim nodded. "It was a big thing…I remember that Christmas we were engaged, I went with you…she had me drive all of you in her car. We had to pick up Colleen and she was fighting with Paul…and your grandmother was telling her that she had told her not to marry him…it was a fun car ride," he said with a soft laugh.

"It was," she replied with a small smile; "You held up well for being the only man in a car with four women…not to mention that it scored you a lot of brownie points with my mother for volunteering to go."

Jim smiled, his hand reaching for hers, pulling it away from Scarlett. "I just didn't want to be away from you that night…not until absolutely necessary at least because I knew you were spending the night there…but they made me part of the family; I didn't think it would happen that easily but it did. They never made me feel out of place that first holiday with you…Naomi treated me like I had always been there."

Johanna breathed deeply. "They sat it gets easier in time…but some things never do. Christmas seems to bring up some of those things."

"I know…I'm sorry that I acted like you didn't have a right to feel that way just because you had me and Katie. That wasn't fair of me…and you're right, losing my parents changed holidays too. There isn't any gingerbread…and Dad's not here to tell an epic saga of putting some gift together…because there was always a saga about at least one gift…and Grandma Lilly isn't here with her pies and her critiques to my mother…your grandmother isn't here to hand me biscotti every time I was near her."

She smiled a little. "Robert did always have an epic sage…and Lilly always made the gravy at your mother's so it wouldn't have lumps…although I know for a fact that Liz could make it without lumps…but she told me she liked Lilly's better so she made it lumpy at times so Lilly would do it."

Jim met her eye. "She never told me that; when did she tell you?"

"When Katie was a baby; you were out of town for work and Robert was off at some banking seminar in Philadelphia…I think she was lonely because she called me at work on one of the days she was watching Katie and said she wanted us to stay for dinner. When I got there, she was in the kitchen making gravy…and it had no lumps. I mentioned it to her and she told me…but also swore me to secrecy. She might haunt me now that I've told you."

He laughed. "We already have a resident ghost; she might have to get in line."

Johanna shook her head. "You know, Lizzie; if she wants through badly enough, she'll elbow her way in."

"Well, tell her I love her if she pops in one day."

"You can tell her yourself; I'm sure she listens."

Jim gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry for tonight."

"I'm sorry too…I…I guess with the way things have been, I think more about the past and the way it used to be…and how it'll never be that way again. That ache has been there for a long time but then there's me and the guilt of the years I ruined and spent alone…and there's Katie who doesn't want to be around this time of year…who put the final nail in last year. It's hard…I tried last year and it was a disaster…and I just don't think I can go through that again. That's why I want to go away for the holiday…go up to the cabin and let things pass quietly…and Katie won't have to worry about me being around or running into me. She won't have to lie about not coming around or calling. It'll be easier for all of us."

He breathed deeply. "I haven't said no about going away…maybe we can come to a compromise."

"Like what?"

"Like we could go to the cabin…but we should have a little tree when we get there…and maybe you could make some fudge and the peppermint cake."

"I don't want to make the cake."

"Why?"

"Because you didn't like it last year; you said it wasn't the same."

"You didn't use the box mix for it like you usually do, that's all; you could use the box mix this time and it'll be as good as it always was."

"I'll think about it," she replied; "But only if you're really serious about considering going away for the holiday."

Jim met her eye, his hand curling around hers tightly once more. "I'm serious…if going to the cabin is going to be what it takes to make things easier for you, we'll go. But if we go, I do want it to be for you…not to assuage Katie's feelings and her need to hide behind a damn wall. We're not leaving town to make her happy, to ease her guilt, to make things easier for her. If we go, it has to be for you...so you have to make me believe it's for you and we'll discuss terms and how we're going to do things. Are you agreeable to that?"

"Yeah; I'm agreeable to that."

"Good, then come downstairs…come back to bed; you can turn the light on if you want to read or we can turn the TV on; it doesn't matter to me as long as you're there beside me where you belong."

She smiled softly. "There's a problem though."

"What?"

"Scarlett's asleep on my lap," she replied, glancing down at her pet. "I hate to wake her."

"You can't stay up here all night because you don't want to disturb the cat," Jim stated as he rose from his seat and scooped the cat up off of her lap. Scarlett's eyes flicked open, a perturbed meow filling the air as she looked up at Jim. "You'll be fine," he told her; "I'll put you on the chair in our room so you'll still be near your mommy."

"She's not going to be happy with you," Johanna said as she folded her blanket and laid it on the chair.

"She'll get over it," he remarked as he took his wife's hand and led her to the stairs. "Do you have your phone?"

"It's in the pocket of my robe….does it feel colder up here or is it just me because I got out from under my blanket and the cat?"

"No, it does feel a little colder," Jim replied; "Probably some nosy ghost doesn't like our idea of compromise for holiday plans."

"Well I don't like some of her ideas either so she should just consider us even," Johanna said as they made their way downstairs.

"I have a feeling you'll be hearing from her tomorrow," her husband remarked; "So you better rest up."

She sighed deeply. "Yeah; I have that feeling too."

* * *

Out of sight down the hallway, watching as they slipped into their bedroom and closed the door, Sarah McKenzie leaned against the wall with a scowl on her face…her daughter-in-law standing nearby.

"Well, you told him to fix it," Naomi stated as she glanced at Sarah's face.

"He never does it the way I want him to," Sarah exclaimed. "I told him to convince her to go to the party; he gets into a tiff with her. I tell him to fix the argument…he basically gives in about going away for the holiday. What do I have to do to get through to these people?!"

Naomi laughed, her eyes shining brightly. "It's probably easier for you to recall the frustrations of motherhood now, isn't it?"

Sarah huffed a little. "Frustration doesn't begin to describe it…I thought it was easier with grandchildren."

"Not always," Naomi confirmed; "Especially when you come from a stubborn family."

"This family is enough to make a saint swear…and while I know I'm no saint, I feel like swearing…a lot. I wish I could still drink; they make me want to drink badly."

Her daughter-in-law giggled. "Welcome to my world…and we're only discussing one of my children…the other two are just as bad…and in some ways, worse."

Sarah shook her head. "I don't know how you managed…some days I wanted to hang my four on a nail and I don't think they were anywhere as bad as yours."

"Oh please," Naomi scoffed; "You had Frank! I don't believe for a moment that my babies were worse than yours."

"I think they are."

"They are not."

"I'm pretty sure yours take the cake, Naomi."

Naomi glared at her. "I will fight you if you keep talking about my kids…not only will I fight you, I won't help you anymore and you'll be on this mission alone."

"My apologies, darling; everyone is as bad as everyone else in this family," Sarah stated.

"That's more like it," Naomi remarked; "Now what are we going to do?"

"We're going to leave here before I have a tantrum," Sarah remarked; "Besides, it's time for me to turn Katie's television on and turn the volume up…and hide the remote…annoy her with her phone and come morning, her coffee will be cold."

"Will that make you feel better?"

"Yes; annoying her brings me special joy," Sarah remarked; "Would you like to come along?"

"Sure," Naomi replied; "I'm always happy to visit my granddaughter even though she doesn't know I'm there. She was such a sweet little girl."

"Yes…it's a shame that doesn't seem to last. Even Johanna isn't as sweet as she used to be."

"Your mother probably says that about you," Naomi remarked.

Sarah gave her an amused smirk. "Alright, let's not talk about the children and grandchildren, you're sensitive tonight."

"How can I not be…knowing how much she misses me? I should've taken better care of myself and maybe I would've been here when she came home from that ordeal. We could've gone to church together on Christmas…I could've helped her heal," Naomi murmured.

"Ours is not to question why, Naomi," Sarah said softly. "We'll arrange a visit for you sometime soon so she can see you and talk to you for a few minutes…but for now we have to find a way to bring her back around to the idea of having a Christmas…even if people are making it difficult for us."

Naomi nodded. "We'll find a way…and if she really does go to that party, you can stick with the one plan we have."

Sarah smiled. "Oh I intend on that; but we need a plan B and C…and some sort of course of action for Miss Katie."

"That's going to be a tough one…but we'll do our best."

Sarah gave a nod; there was much work to do and little time to complete it in but they'd do their best…it would just be a lot easier if certain stubborn people would cooperate.


End file.
